A Past and Future Secret
by TheBrick
Summary: Harry brings the Marauders and Lily forward in time to try and change the past. Rated T for freedom. ON HOLD!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Not even the idea for this story (I have to thank a friend for that!). Wait, I own this story. Nevermind. **

**Prologue**

In Number 12, Grimmald Place, Harry Potter was brewing a potion that would hopefully bring certain people into the future. The potion needed to be just right, otherwise it wouldn't work, or it might even hurt the ones he wanted to bring forward in time. And he wouldn't let that happen, if he could prevent it.

"Dad…mom…everyone… I want to be able to know you, even if it's not in this time, or as you expected to meet me," he mused as he worked.

Eventually, though, the potion was finished, and it was time to test it. At this point, Ron and Hermione came in the room, and Harry showed them the finished potion, merrily bubbling away in the cauldron he was brewing it in.

"All right, it's ready, now it's time to test it. Wish me luck," Harry told them. He cleared his throat. "I want to bring James Potter, Lily Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin from 1980 to this location, the drawing room of Number 12, Grimmald Place," he commanded.

Immediately, the potion began to shimmer in a sparkling gold, and then a flash of bright light made the three golden trio members shield their eyes. After it cleared, their sounds of shock were evident to the ears of the four people who had just appeared there.

"Where are we?" James Potter asked.

* * *

**Hogwarts, 1978**

Lily had been arguing with James for the past 15 minutes, and the other three marauders were starting to get bored.

"Potter, I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!" Lily screamed.

"I bet you would, because you love me," James retorted.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! NOW GO AWAY BEFORE I RIP YOUR BIG HEAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS AND THROW IT INTO THE LAKE!!!"

"I wouldn't care, because you'd be touching me."

Lily smacked him across his face as hard as she could.

"Awwww, you touched me!" James exclaimed.

Lily was just about to smack him again when a flash of light made Peter shield his eyes, and when he could see again, he realized that the other four had disappeared.

After the light cleared, James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus found themselves in a room quite different from the one they'd been in previously.

"Where are we?" James asked.

"I think we're in my old house, mate," Sirius replied.

They then noticed the three people looking at them with their mouths looking like they were about to fall on the floor.

"Who are you?" Remus asked.

"And why do you have Lily's eyes?" James added.

"I'm Harry Potter," Harry answered. "And these are my friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."

"Weasley? As in Arthur Weasley?" Lily asked.

"He's my dad," Ron answered.

"Sooooooo….. what year is this, again?" Sirius asked.

"You are in the year 1998, in my house," Harry replied.

Everyone from the past felt their jaws drop to the floor.

"But we were just in Hogwarts, in 1978! How'd we get here?" Lily cried.

"You got here by a Time Potion that I made," Harry answered. "But it didn't exactly work out right, because I wanted to summon the yous from 1980, but I think it'll work out better this way, because you'll have more time."

"Time to do what?" James asked, messing up his hair as he spoke.

"You shall see…" Harry replied mysteriously.

Ron and Hermione rolled their eyes at this.

Lily and Remus appeared deep in thought, as they were the smart ones of the group from the past. In the meantime, James and Sirius went over to the other three.

"And why did you have Lily's eyes, again?" James asked.

"Again, you shall see…" Harry replied with the air of someone who knew a dirty secret.

"Dammit!" Sirius cursed. "I second that," James added.

"And why does it look like we're in my old house?" Sirius asked while looking around the room they were in.

"You are. Through events which I won't go into detail, I am the owner of Number 12, Grimmald Place," was the reply.

"And who are your parents?" James asked.

"My father is you, and my mother… well, you'll find out soon enough."

"So THAT'S why you look like a mini Prongs!" Sirius laughed. At that point, Ginny came into the room and was about to announce that lunch was ready when she saw the extra people in the room.

"And who's this?" Sirius asked Harry.

"Ginny, my fiancée."

James laughed and slapped Harry on the back.

"Congrats, son. How many kids are you two having?"

Everyone laughed as Harry and Ginny blushed like a pair of tomatoes.

"You know what must be really weird Prongs?" Remus asked. "Having a kid that's older than you."

"Tell me about it," James said with a shiver.

"To get back on topic, do you want to know the reason that I brought you forward in time?" Harry asked.

Everyone from the past nodded.

"He brought you back in time so that you could stop Lord Voldemort," Ron said.

"YOU MEAN HE CAN BE STOPPED?!?!" was heard by Kreacher as he was dishing out lunch three floors below. **(At least, I think it's three floors.)**

"Yes, he can," Hermione said with her hands over her ears.

"Now would you at least lower your voices? Please?" Ginny asked.

"Okay," everyone replied. Harry pulled a book out of his robes. He then pulled six more out, each one thicker than the last.

"The way is in these books," Harry told the people from the past.

James and Sirius groaned.

"What, is the great James Potter scared of the big bad book?" Lily asked.

"No, I just don't like reading," he replied. He then looked around. "By the way, where am I in this time? And everyone else?"

He instantly knew what had happened from everyone's reaction. Harry and Ron got a sad look on their faces, and the girls almost burst into tears.

"No…it can't be," he moaned.

"I'm sorry dad…you died…" Harry softly told James.

Sirius and Remus started choking back sobs, and even Lily looked horrified.

"Mate, life wouldn't be worth living if you died!" Sirius sobbed.

"As much as hate to admit it, I agree with Sirius," Remus cried.

Lily just sat there, tears running down her face.

"Thanks everyone…" James said gratefully. "Now, did you just bring us forward in time JUST to tell us that we're all going to die?"

"No, we brought you forward in time so that you might be able to stop that from happening," Harry told him.

"HOW???" the four of them cried.

"He had the idea that could stop it from happening by telling you all the story of his life, and I've got to admit, it's a pretty good idea," Hermione replied.

"Okay, so where does it all start?" Lily asked.

"In here," Harry replied as he pulled out a book entitled **Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone **out of the pile.

"He had the idea that we could all take turns reading from it," Ginny explained.

"Can I go first?" Remus asked.

"Sure," Harry replied as he passed the book to Remus.

"Chapter one, The Boy Who Lived…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**Just a quick A/N before I start: wow. Four reviews for my first chapter, two of which were in the first twenty minutes of posting it. You guys are great.**

"The Boy Who Lived," Remus read.

"Who's that?" James and Sirius asked at the same time.

"Well, it's a book about my son, so I'd have to say it's Harry," James answered.

"It's too important to the plot to answer," Harry said immediately afterwards.

"It's Harry," everyone from the past thought at the same time.

**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of Number Four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal,**

"And what would be strange?"

"James, I'd like to read, here."

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

**thank you very much.**

"And they even thank us!" James cried

"Quiet fool!" Sirius quickly snapped.

**They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**

"But nonsense is fun!" James and Sirius chorused.

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a film called Grunnings,**

"Boring name," Ron started.

**which made drills.**

"Boringer job," Harry finished.

**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache.**

"He kind of reminds me of Professor Slughorn," Lily mused.

"Except with more neck," Remus added.

"What are you talking about? Slughorn has no neck."

"EXACTLY!" the entire room chorused at Lily.

**Mrs. Dursley as thin and blonde**

"Kind of reminds me of my sister," Lily thought.

**and had twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors.**

"Definitely my sister."

**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**

"Oh, I bet there is."

"JAMES, SHUT UP EVEN THOUGH FOR ONCE WE AGREE WITH YOU!!!"

James pouted.

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, bet they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it.**

"That's what secrets are for!" Sirius called out. Remus gave him a warning look before going back to the book.

**They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.**

"Potters are great!" James and Harry said together.

"Sure, whatever," Lily muttered with a roll of her eyes.

**Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister,**

"WHAT. THE. HELL." Lily thought. "No, no, there are other Potters in Britain, it must be one of them."

**but they hadn't met in several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister,**

"Why the hell would someone just cut their own sister out of their life?" Ginny thought aloud.

**because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.**

"UnDursleyish? Is that even a word?" Hermione asked. The others just shrugged.

**The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street.**

"OHHH! DOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT!" Sirius chanted. James just shrugged noncommitedly.

**The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him.**

"Wow. I've got a kid, too," Lily thought at the same time that James said "Wow, I've got a nephew or son!"

"Congrats, Prongs!" Sirius cheered.

**This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.**

"Why? Potters are awesome!" James cheered.

"Whatever," Lily said while rolling her eyes.

"Lilyflower, you look so cute when you roll your eyes," James told her.

"First, never call me that again. Second, NO, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!!" she shrieked.

"Whatever you say, Lily."

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull,**

"I bet you're duller."

Remus put a silencing charm on Sirius, and for good measure, James. He then cleared his throat before continuing.

**gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country.**

"I wonder what that was like," Harry and Ron mused. "At least you were still alive then," Ginny said with the red-hair-eye-roll.

**Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work,**

"Told you he was boring!" Ron yelled.

**and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.**

"Brat!" Remus, Lily, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny hissed (James and Sirius still had the silencing charm on them). Harry rolled his eyes. "You should've seen him when he was older," he told them. Ron gasped. "Wasn't he the one who-" He was cut off as Harry put his hand over Ron's mouth.

"The one who what???" the rest of the room asked in a shout.

"WEEEE KNOOOOW, AAAAND YOOOUUU HAAAAAVE TOOOO WAAAAAIT!!!" Ron and Harry sang, while the other scowled.

**None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.**

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek,**

Everyone shuddered.

**and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.**

"Brat!" everyone in the room hissed (Remus had lifted the silencing charm).

"**Little tyke,"**

"What the hell? He's a brat!" Sirius exclaimed.

**chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car **

"Bet he had it specially made for him," Ron said.

**and backed out of number four's drive.**

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar -**

James and Sirius sat on the edges of their seats.

**a cat reading a map.**

"Bet it's Minnie," Sirius mused.

"Who?" everyone from the future asked.

"These two have a habit of calling Professor McGonagall "Minnie"," Remus explained.

**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen-then he jerked his head around to look again.**

"Must've hurt," Ginny said with a wince.

**There was a tabby cat on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight.**

"Of course not, she'd have put it away," James commented.

"How do you know it's Professor McGonagall?" Hermione asked.

"I just do."

"So basically you're just guessing."

"Yep."

**What could he have been thinking of?**

"Lots of stuff."

"SIRIUS!!!" everyone screamed.

**It must have been a trick of the light.**

"The lengths muggles go to to ignore magic," Remus mused.

"Why can you talk and not us?" Sirius asked.

"First because you two are annoying, second, because I'm the one reading."

**Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back.**

"STARING CONTEST!!!" Harry and Ron shouted at the same time, making everyone else jump.

**As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive - no, **_**looking**_** at the sign; cat couldn't read maps **_**or **_**signs.**

"How do you know?"

**Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake**

"EARTHQUAKE!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" James and Sirius shouted at the tops of their lungs.

**and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.**

"This guy's life is so freaking BORING! Doesn't he do ANYTHING fun?" Ron asked. Harry shook his head.

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

The people from the past started to get a little worried at this.

**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes – the getups you saw on young people!**

"And what's that supposed to mean?" asked Lily.

**He supposed that this was some stupid new fashion.**

"It isn't new, we've been wearing cloaks for centuries!"

"James, don't you think that these people are witches and wizards themselves?"

"Yes I do, Moony, yes I do."

**He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel**

"There goes Ireland."

**and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdoes standing quite close by. They were whispering quite excitedly together.**

"Hey, Harry, isn't this about the time when…"

"Yes, Ron, it is."

**Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak!**

"So?"

**The nerve of him!**

"I don't get what all the fuss is about."

"That's because you're an idiot Padfoot."

**But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt – these people were obviously collecting for something… yes that would be it.**

At this, the purebloods turned to the muggleborns (I'll include Harry with the muggleborns), at which point Hermione explained that muggles were taught by their parents that magic was not real, and that this had been going back for centuries, while Lily was hitting James for staring at her.

**The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

"Wow, it doesn't take much to distract him from something," Lily commented.

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor.**

"He needs some sun," Ginny thought.

**If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning.**

"OHHHHHH THE HORROR!!!" James, Sirius, Ron, and Harry screamed as if the end of the world was coming.

_**He**_** didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead.**

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Why what?" said Hermione.

"Why do they sound surprised?"

"I'll bet that that will be explained by some random explanation somewhere in the soon vicinity of the coming story," Hermione answered.

Ron blinked. "What?"

Hermione sighed and gestured for Remus to keep reading.

**Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime.**

"OHHHHHHHHH!!!"

**Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more.**

"This guy needs to get a life," said Remus.

**He was in a very good mood**

"This guy seriously needs to get a life."

**until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.**

"Nononononononono, fatty must not eat, after all, fatty is fat," said Sirius. James hit him in the head.

"Idiot! You could have done a lot better than fatty! Try again," James told him.

"Sorry mate, I've got fat on the brain right now."

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed.**

"Why? What did they ever do to you?" Lily asked angrily. James sighed.

"Ahhhhhh, Lilyflower, you're so cute when you're mad."

To James' surprise, Lily blushed slightly.

"WHY?!?! WHY THE HELL AM I BLUSHING IN FRONT OF JAMES?!?!" she thought to herself.

**He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. **

"They're definitely wizards. But why would they not have any caution about going out among muggles?" Lily asked.

Everyone from the past shrugged, while everyone from the future had an enormous grin on their face.

**It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying. **

Everyone leaned forward in their seats.

"**The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard –"**

" – **yes, their son, Harry –"**

Everyone from the past stared at Harry, who blushed modestly.

"Hmmm, I kind of like the name Harry," James thought to himself.

**Mr. Dursley stopped. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

"GASP!!!"

"_Silencio_!"

James was then unable to speak.

**He dashed back across the road,**

"GASP!!!"

"_Silencio_!"

Now Sirius was unable to speak.

**hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone, and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver down and stroked his mustache, thinking…**

"Breath. !!!!!!!" the whole room screamed, except for Sirius and James.

**no, he was being stupid.**

"And we're not surprised, why?"

**Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son named Harry.**

"Yeah, but I'm the only Harry Potter in magical Britain."

**Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure if his nephew**_** was**_** called Harry.**

"You mean he didn't even know your NAME at this point?!?!" Cried the entire room (again, except for James and Sirius, who instead waved their arms around).

**He'd never even seen the boy.**

"SO?!?!"

**It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.**

Harry shuddered.

**There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister.**

"And what, pray tell, is wrong with her?" James defended, causing Lily to blush again.

**He didn't blame her – if **_**he'd **_**had a sister like that…**

James looked as though if he knew where Vernon Dursley was at that moment, he would have ripped him apart.

**but all the same, those people in cloaks…**

"For God's sake, get your mind off those people in cloaks! They're just wearing cloaks!" Ginny shouted.

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon**

"The HORROR!"

**and when he left the building at five o' clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!! DON'T DIE!!!" James, Sirius, and Ron screamed (someone had removed the silencing charm again).

"**Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. **

A sigh of relief echoed throughout the room. "Phew, he's okay,"

**It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized the man was wearing a violet cloak.**

"Again with the cloaks!"

**He didn't seem at all upset about being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary**

"Why?"

"Well, if you'd shut up for a moment James then we'd know!"

**On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! **

Remus suddenly gasped, causing the people from the past to stare in confusion.

**Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last!**

Remus read this last sentence in a voice that sounded completely shell-shocked, and when he'd finished, James', Lily's, and Sirius' jaws dropped almost to the ground in shock. Then James and Sirius started dancing with happiness while Lily just sat there, her jaw hanging open from surprise. She soon realized this and quickly closed her jaw, Sirius and James till dancing nearby.

**Even muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"**

"Okay, that's going a little overboard with the happiness. Muggles would soon figure out that there's magic still in the world," Remus remarked. Everyone in the room nodded their agreement.

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

"Someone who doesn't approve of imagination. This guy needs to get a life. Badly," Ginny remarked.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw – and it didn't improve his mood – was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning.**

"Hooray! Minnie's back!" James cheered.

"And how would you know it's Minnie?" Sirius asked.

"I just do!"

"Fine, I'll bet you a galleon that it's not Minnie."

"You're on!"

**It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.**

Sirius began to look worried.

"**Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

That's never going to work, especially if it is Professor McGonagall," Hermione remarked.

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.**

"Sounding a lot like Minnie," James said to Sirius.

**Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

There were multiple whispers of "coward" throughout the room, loudest of which was from Lily, who was trying hard not to blush.

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learnt a new word ("Won't!").**

"GASP!!!!"

"Harry, shut up."

**Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living-room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:**

**"And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The news reader allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"**

Every single joker in the room (Harry, Ron, James, Sirius, and Remus) winced at the terrible joke.

**"Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain that I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early- It's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."**

"Who lost their head?" Sirius asked.

"YOU," everyone in the room answered.

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters... Mrs. Dursley came into the living-room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously.**

"**Err - Petunia, Dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"**

**As he expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

"Why… oh, wait, they probably hate magic, don't they?" James asked Harry, who nodded.

"It was almost hell living with them. Don't go hunting them down yet, though," he hastily added after seeing the looks on James', Sirius', and Remus' faces.

**"No," she said sharply. "Why?""Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... Shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."**

"You're the funny looking one here!" Harry yelled. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny nodded agreement.

**"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley."Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her lot."**

"Our lot, you fat excuse for a human being?!?! " James growled, eyes flashing angrily.

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name 'Potter'. He decided he didn't dare.**

"F(bleep)ing coward."

**Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now wouldn't he?""I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly."What's his name again? Howard isn't it?"**

James almost screamed in terror.

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

"Nasty?! COMMON?!?! Harry's anything but common!" Ginny roared.

"**Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it was waiting for something. **

"You might as well pay up now," James told Sirius.

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did... if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it. The Dursleys got into bed. **

Everyone shuddered at the mental image.

**Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley.**

"Let's go pay them a visit anyway, James."

"Yes, let's."

The two of them had to be tied to their chairs to keep them from going.

**The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind... **

"And don't you think what we think of you?!"

"Sirius, as much as I might want to spellotape your mouth shut sometimes, I have to agree with you in this case."

Sirius grinned proudly.

**He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on. **

"Let's mix them up anyway, when we get back. We CAN go back to our time, can't we?" The last part was directed at Harry, who nodded.

**He yawned and turned over. It couldn't affect them...How very wrong he was.**

"You mean we did it anyway?!?!"

"Ginny, please hand me the spellotape."

After Sirius' mouth had been taped shut, they continued reading.

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. **

**It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed in the next street, nor when the two owls swooped overhead.**

**In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all. A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground.**

"All signs of Minnie."

**The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed. Nothing like this man had been seen in Privet Drive. He was tall, thin and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt.**

"Wild guess time. Could it be A: Nostradamus, B: Harry Houdini, C: Merlin, or D: Albus Dumbledore?" James announced.

**He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak which swept the ground and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.** **This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

"Who guessed Dumbledore?" James asked. The entire room raised their hands, except Lily (she'd thought it was the ghost of Merlin). Then whoever didn't raise their hand gets a kiss from mwah!" Much pain was brought to James.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."He had found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter.**

"The Deluminator!" Ron cheered. The past four plus Ginny stared at him.

**He flicked it open, held it up in the air and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a littlepop.**

"What the hell?!?!" everyone not from the Golden Trio yelled.

**He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, **

"Deluminator!"

**until the only lights left in the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even the beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. **

"Good, because it's probably illegal," James said in a pained voice.

**Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer **

"Deluminator! It's a Deluminator!" Ron almost screamed.

**back inside his cloak and set off down the street towards number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it."Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall." **

"Pay up," James said to Sirius, who muttered something muffled by the spellotape and handed over a galleon.

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**"How did you know it was me?" she asked.**

**"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

**"You'd be stiff too if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

"Yeah, I sure would," Hermione and Lily muttered at the same time.

**"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

"She's getting ready," Ron and James spoke.

**"Oh yes, everyone's celebrating all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no - even the Muggles noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

"I know him, and he really doesn't have much sense," Harry told the others.

"**You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

"So basically, it happens three years after we leave Hogwarts?" Lily asked. The four from the future nodded. (**Note: I'm not exactly sure if it's three years, so just go with it, okay?)**

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. **

Ron shuddered at the thought of someone taking off their head.

**People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes swapping rumors."**

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on: "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. **

"Yes, that would be kind of sad."

**I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?"**

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"**

"A what?" James asked.

"**A what?"**

"Seems you think like McGonagall," Lily told James, who started to shake violently.

**"A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."**

"Would anyone care for a sherbet lemon? I have some with me." Dumbledore said taking a bag from inside his robes and passing it around.

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops.**

"she never would think it's the moment for lemon drops," Harry mused.

**"As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone -"**

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like your self can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort". Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was un-sticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice.**

**"It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."**

"Only because he's the only one Voldemort was scared of!" Ron pointed out.

**"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half-exasperated, half-admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know - oh, all right, Voldemort -was frightened of"**

"Now you're thinking like McGonagall," Hermione told Ron, who went to join James.

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

**"Only because you're too - well - noble to use them."**

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

"OOOOOkay…" Ginny thought to herself.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing to the rumors that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying? About why he's disappeared?**

Everyone from the past leaned closer to the book, Remus puling the spellotape off of Sirius, while everyone from the future got a sad look on their faces.

**About what finally stopped him?"**

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now.**

"She has to us. Remember last Halloween?" Sirius asked.

**It was plain that whatever 'everyone' was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

"Enough with the lemon drops!" Lily cried.

**"What they're saying," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up** **In Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. **

Everyone from the past gasped. "But…that's where James lives" Sirius spoke slowly as he said this, as if he was going to watch his best friend die without him able to do anything.

**The rumor is that Lily and James Potter, are - are - that they're – dead."**

Everyone from the future's faces got even sadder, if that was even possible. Everyone from the past, however, broke down in tears.

"Mate, life wouldn't be worth living if you died," Sirius sobbed, while Remus nodded his head in agreement.

Lily, on the other hand, was crying for a different reason. "I think James Potter is starting to grow on me!" she thought. Then everyone remembered the second name McGonagall had mentioned, and they started sobbing even harder, James hugging Lily to comfort her. He had done this out of instinct, to comfort the one he loved, and Lily accepted it, crying into his shoulder.

After he was done crying, Sirius spoke up. "Congrats, Prongs. You finally got the girl," gesturing both to the book, and to the real-life Lily in front of them, who was sitting red-eyed next to James.

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**"Lily and James... I can't believe it... I didn't want to believe it... Oh, Albus..."**

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know ... I know ..." he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry.**

Everyone looked like they were going to burst into tears again, but Harry managed to calm them down a little by reminding them that he was still there.

**"But - he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy.**

"HUH?!?!" was the general outcry from the past people.

**No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone."**

"Again, HUH?!?!"

**Dumbledore nodded glumly."It's - it's true?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done ... all the people he's killed ... he couldn't kill a little boy?**

"This may not be the right time, but…" Sirius started snickering. "Voldemort was beaten by a one-year-old! That's gotta be embarrassing!"

**It's just astounding ... of all the things to stop him ... but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

**We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took out a watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle.**

Kreacher looked up as he was finishing up lunch. He could have sworn he had just heard an explosion of swear words, cursing someone called "Dursley."

**They're the only family he has left now."**

"What about your parents? Or Lily's parents?" Sirius asked James, who shrugged. He was still angry at Dumbledore.

"**You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore - you can't."**

**I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets.**

Kreacher looked up again. He had definitely heard "BRAT!" that time.

**Harry Potter come and live here!"**

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

"Does he SERIOUSLY think he can explain everything in a LETTER?!?!" James roared.

**A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? **

Everyone laughed at the look on James' face that he'd just thought like the person he liked to annoy the most.

**These people will never understand him! He'll be famous - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter Day in future - there will be books written about Harry -every child in our world will know his name!"**

**"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

"That's probably the only good thing that came out of me growing up there," Harry told his parents.

"He's probably the most modest person in the world, especially considering what he's done," Ginny added.

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here Dumbledore?"**

**She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

Sirius and James snorted.

**"Hagrid's bringing him."**

"**You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"**

**"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

**"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place,"**

"It is, he just likes monsters a lot more than the average person should," Hermione mused.

**said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?" A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorbike fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

"COOL!!!!" Sirius shouted. "IWANTONE IWANTONE IWANTONE IWANTONE IWANTONE-"

"You'll get it at somepoint, Padfoot, now shut up or I'll stop reading," Remus told him, almost in a shout. That shut Sirius up instantly.

**If the motorbike was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide.**

"Hagrid!" the past people cried.

**He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of dustbin lids and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets. "Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorbike?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorbike as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it me."**

"YES!!!"

"**I've got him, sir."**

**"No problems, were there?"**

**"No, sir - house was almost destroyed**

Lily and James started sobbing. Remus let them let it all out before continuing.

**But I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we were flyin' over Bristol."**

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

"Do you really?" Lily asked Harry, who nodded and lifted up his bangs to show them his scar.

**"Is that where - ?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever.**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in useful. I have one myself above my left knee which is a perfect map of the London Underground. **

Everyone looked as though they could have gone without knowing that.

**Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with."**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned towards the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I - could I say goodbye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid.**

**He bent his great shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss.**

**Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed. Lily looked at him strangely (she was the only one in the room who did not know the three Marauders could shapeshift).

"**Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall. "You'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -"**

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out...**

The room went quiet. Everyone knew what it meant when that twinkling light had gone out.

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

"I know I wouldn't be able to celebrate with James and Lily dead," Sirius said, followed by a sigh. Remus nodded in agreement.

"**Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice. "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself on to the motorbike and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street.**

**He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four."Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak he was gone.**

"He left you on the doorstep?" James asked Harry, who nodded. Lily managed to calm him down by giving him a hug, and James gave her a look of gratitude.

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley ...**

Everyone growled.

**He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!"**

"That's the end of the chapter," Remus announced at the end. "Who wants to read now?" James' hand shot up first, followed about a second later by Lily's. "Here you go Lily." James pouted.

"**Chapter Two**: **The Vanishing Glass**," Lily read

**A/N: I think I could have done the romance better in this chapter, but I'm not very good at the genre.**


	3. Chapter 3

"**Chapter Two**: **The Vanishing Glass**," Lily read.

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls.**

"I bet it hasn't, Petunia hates change," Lily remarked before continuing.

**Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets – but Dudley **

"Okay, I bet we've laughed at this before, but still, Dudley is a crap name!" James laughed.

**Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blonde boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother.**

"Ew."

**The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house too.**

"Did you escape?" Sirius asked Harry.

"No, but I wish I had," he replied.

"Dammit!"

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

"Yeah, I hate it when she wakes me up like that, too," Lily said to Harry.

"**Up! Get up! Now!" **

"She sounds about as nice as my mum," Sirius remarked.

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.**

"**Up!" she screeched.**

Lily gave Harry a sympathetic look.

**Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove.**

"She can't cook to save her life."

**He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.**

"You mean you can actually REMEMBER your dreams?!?!" Sirius exclaimed.

"No, it just said that I had the feeling I'd had that dream before," Harry corrected.

**His aunt was back outside the door.**

"**Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

"**Nearly," said Harry.**

"Either you're up or you aren't, Harry," James said in his best 'fatherly' voice.

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Dudley's birthday."**

James and Lily looked up with a snap. "She made you cook, when you were only ten years old," Lily said in a soft voice that was filled with unspoken anger.

Harry squirmed. "Actually, I'd been cooking since I was eight."

James and Lily had to be tied to chairs for a little while, and since Lily was the reader, the group needed a new one. Ron volunteered.

**Harry groaned.**

"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door. **

"**Nothing, nothing…"**

**Dudley's birthday – how could he have forgotten?**

"Easily," Ron remarked.

**Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on.**

"I hate spiders," Hermione, Ginny, and Ron muttered.

**Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.**

There was instant silence following this last sentence. Harry sunk low in his seat.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Ron asked softly.

"We're family," Ginny said in a voice so quiet that only Harry could hear. "Family looks out for each other." Harry's head was now roughly at the same level as his knees.

Still sending Harry angry looks, they continued reading.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.**

"Why a fat person would want a racing bike, I don't know."

**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry,**

"It is to us, too," Remus remarked.

**as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise – unless of course it involved punching somebody.**

There were many growls of resentment at that statement.

**Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry,**

"WHAT THE F***ING HELL?!?!"

No one even tried to calm James down, actually they were glaring at the book like they very much wanted to rip Dudley dursley into shreds.

**But he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast.**

There were many cheers from the room.

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.**

Everyone looked at James, who started sulking.

**He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's,**

"I'm surprised she even gave him anything to wear," Lily commented venomously.

**and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes.**

"It's a mini Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Except for Lily's eyes," Remus added, which made Lily blush.

**He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.**

Many colorful swear words were heard.

**The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning. **

"Do you really?" everyone from the past asked. Harry blushed and nodded, and when asked he lifted up his bangs to show it.

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

"**In the car crash when your parents died," she had said.**

Everyone snorted.

"Now THAT'S a lie if I've ever seen one," Remus remarked.

"**And don't ask questions."**

"But how is he going to learn?!" Lily and Hermione screeched.

_**Don't ask questions **_**–that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as harry was turning over the bread.**

"**Comb your hair!" he barked,**

"I resent that!" Sirius shouted. Lily gave him an odd look.

**by way of a morning greeting.**

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut.**

"I know, it's the Potter Hair Curse," Sirius told the room.

**Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way – all over the place.**

"Thank you for explaining the Potter Hair Curse."

"Sirius, you do realize that you're talking to the book, right?" Ginny asked.

"I knew that," Sirius said, not looking anyone in the eyes.

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon.**

"That must be… unfortunate."

**He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blonde hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.**

"Definitely a charmer," Ron chortled loudly.

**Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel –**

There were many snorts of disbelief throughout the room.

**Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Truer words have never been spoken," James said, wiping a tear away from his eye.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell.**

"I bet it fell on the ground, from all the weight on it," Lily said. Everyone looked shocked, as Lily never insulted anyone, except for James.

"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year." **

"Thirty-freaking-six?!?!" Sirius exclaimed. "Even Regulus never got that many!"

"**Darling, you haven't counted Aunt Marge's present, see, it's right here under this big one from Mommy and Daddy."**

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

"Good idea, I hate it when Regulus does that," Sirius told Harry.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another **_**two **_**presents while we're out today. How's that popkin?**

Everyone chuckled.

_**Two**_** more presents. Is that all right?"**

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty…thirty…"**

"Jesus F***ing Christ! He can't even count?!?!" James, Sirius, Remus, and Ron exclaimed. They all looked at Harry when they didn't hear him yelling.

"**Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

"I think we will have to pay the Dursleys a visit," James told Sirius. Lily heard, though.

"Why?"

"So that we can…um…punish them!" James exclaimed. Lily gave him an odd look.

"**Oh." Dudley at down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled.**

Sirius turned to James.

"I think I've got a new name for that guy!" he shouted.

"What?"

"Vermin!"

Everyone started laughing.

"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" he ruffled Dudley's hair.**

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"How can you feel that at once?" Ron asked. "Wouldn't that make your head explode or something?"

"Ron, has anyone ever told you that you have the emotional range of a teaspoon?"

"Yeah, you Hermione."

"Just checking."

"**Bad news Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her hear in Harry's direction.**

"Hey! If you're going to talk about my son, at least use his name!" James exclaimed. Everyone looked at him.

"James, you're talking to a book again. Did you take your medicine?" Remus joked.

"What medicine?" James said, not getting the joke.

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Fig made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

"I think I'm in love," Lily and Ginny sighed dreamily. Everyone gave them strange looks as they returned to the book, leaving the two of them in their stupor.

"**Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

"**We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

"**Don't be silly, she hates the boy."**

"Why would anyone hate Harry? I mean, he's the spitting image of me, and I'm awesome."

"Sure you are."

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there – or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.**

Everyone growled threateningly.

"**What about what's her name – your friend, Yvonne?"**

"**On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

"**You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

"What's television? And computer?" James asked Lily, but it was Sirius who answered.

"They're both things muggles use to watch things." Everyone stared at him with their mouths hanging open. "What? I took muggle studies."

"Yeah, but I never thought you'd pay attention during it," Remus said, shaking his head.

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she's just swallowed a lemon.**

"**And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

"He wouldn't do that, but I bet my brothers would," Ginny snarled back.

"Who're your brothers?" the Marauders all asked.

"You're their forerunners," Hermione interrupted. The Marauders looked at each other with looks of complete glee on each of their faces.

"**I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening.**

"**I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly,"…and leave him in the car…"**

"**That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…"**

**Dudley began to cry loudly.**

"Awwww, is the wittle baby cwying?" Ron said in a mock baby voice.

**In fact, he wasn't really crying – it had been years since he'd really cried – but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

"That f***ing pampered brat!" Sirius almost screamed.

"**Dinky Diddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him. **

"**I…don't…want…him…t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything!" he shot Harry a nasty grin between his mother's arms. **

" I repeat, that f***ing pampered brat!" Sirius yelled.

**Just then, the doorbell rang – "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically – and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. **

"Then we shall call him Ratty!"

**He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

"So he doesn't want his friends to know he cries to get what he wants?"

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursley's car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life.**

The women all looked Harry sadly.

**His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

"**I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy – any funny business, anything at all – and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"But that's child abuse! How could people let them do that?!" Lily cried. James put his arm around her in an attempt to comfort her a little, which seemed to work.

"**I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…"**

"You tell him!"

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

Everyone's eyes began to mist over from sorrow.

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barber's as if he hadn't been there at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses. Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off. He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he tried to explain that he **_**couldn't**_** explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

"That f***ing b****!" James screamed. "She KNEW you couldn't control your magic, and she punished you anyway!"

"Thanks…dad," Harry said in a low voice. James smiled at him.

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls).**

Everyone shuddered at the thought.

**The harder she tried to force it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until it finally might have fitted a hand puppet, but it certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens.**

The Marauders and Ron cheered, and the girls all groaned loudly. Harry just grinned.

**Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney. The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do ( as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed the wind must have caught him in mid-jump.**

Everyone snorted almost simultaneously.

"Yeah, 'the wind caught you.' More like you apparated," Ron remarked. All of the smart people (Hermione, Lily, and Remus) looked thoughtful.

"You apparated at such a young age, without a wand?" Hermione asked Harry.

"I guess so," he replied. "I'm not really sure exactly, since that happened a while ago."

"Because if you DID apparate, then your magical potential is about the same as Professor Dumbledore's," Remus told him. Lily and James looked very pleased at this news.

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.**

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects.**

"Does anyone else get the feeling he doesn't like Harry?" Sirius asked.

"Noooo, Padfoot, it's just your imagination," James answered sarcastically.

"Oh, okay then," Sirius said, the sarcasm missing him.

**This morning, it was motorcycles. **

"I'd like a motorcycle," Sirius said dreamily.

"You did have one," Ginny reminded him.

"I meant right now, not in my future."

"…**roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

"That's the whole point of a motorcycle."

"**I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

"Brilliant Harry, just brilliant, now he'll yell at you."

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beer with a mustache:**

"How does that relate to anything?" Harry wondered.

"**MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

"How do you know?"

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

"**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than him asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting any way it shouldn't,**

"What, you mean brooms or something?" James asked.

**no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon - they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

"Hey everyone, I just got a really dangerous idea!" Sirius shouted

"What is it, mate?" James asked.

"Let's treat the Dursleys the same way they treated Harry, just to see how THEY like it!"

"Yeah, let's start with-" James was cut off when he saw Lily's face. "Nothing. Let's start with nothing. Sirius, I can't believe you would say something like that."

"No, I wasn't trying to stop you two, I was just about to ask you to let me join you," Lily told them. "And me," Remus added.

"Guys, let's at least try to finish the story before you go charging off," Ginny said, trying to keep the peace, even though it looked like she wouldn't have objected if the four had gone anyway.

**It was a very sunny Saturday, and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.**

There were many growls of resentment at this.

**It wasn't bad either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley except that it wasn't blonde.**

Everyone burst out laughing.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him.**

James and Lily started tearing up, and Remus and Sirius started getting glassy-eyed, for they all knew that this wouldn't be happening if they had been there for Harry.

**They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on the top, Uncle Vernon bought him a new one and Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

"They're actually being somewhat nice to Harry! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!" Ron cried.

Everyone chuckled a little, but there was no heart in it. They were still too mad at the Dursleys to laugh at that point.

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

**After lunch they went to the reptile house.**

Lily shuddered.

"Lily doesn't like snakes. Or spiders," James explained when he saw Harry's inquisitive look.

"The answer's still no, James," Lily told him. "You may be a handsome stalker, but that doesn't mean I'll go out with you. Yet," she added to herself.

**Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. **

"You two do realize that if they weren't in cages they would eat you?" Ron asked. Hermione groaned.

"You do realize that you're talking to the book like certain other people, don't you?" she asked at his questioning look.

**Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crush it into a trash can – but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

Lily sighed with relief.

**Dudley stood with his nose against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils. **

"You'll flatten your face if you keep doing that Dudders," Harry tsked, making everyone laugh.

"**Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge. **

"**Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

"**This is boring," Dudley moaned.**

"Well, Dudders, sometimes life can be very boring sometimes, and you need to make things not boring."

"That made no sense whatsoever."

"Thank you."

**He shuffled away.**

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself – no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to see the rest of the house.**

"So true," Harry mused.

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

_**It winked.**_

"What the f***?" James exclaimed.

"I know, snakes don't even have eyelids!" Remus cried. James just stared at Remus.

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. he looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

"What are you doing, Harry, winking at an unknown snake?!" Ron cried. The people who didn't know that Harry had been a parseltongue (the past people, and Ginny) stared at him until he began reading again.

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

"_**I get that all the time."**_

"So you're a parseltongue?" Lily asked Harry. After he explained the circumstances that lead to him receiving and losing the ability, Lily leaned back with a surprised look on her face. "I never knew that could happen to someone," she said, mostly to herself.

"**I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying."**

**The snake nodded its head vigorously.**

"**Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

"**Was it nice there?"**

**The snake jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see – so you've never been to Brazil?"**

Sirius snorted. "Brilliant, kid." Harry reddened.

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout from behind Harry made them both jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T **_**BELIEVE**_** WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

"Bad Ratty! You'll get Harry in trouble! Seriously, bad Ratty!" James scolded, while Sirius smirked.

"Why does everyone like to say my name so much?" Sirius asked, while everyone else groaned at his annoying joke.

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.**

"Waddle? As in, duck waddle?" Remus asked.

"**Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs. Caught by surprise, Harry fell on the hard concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened – one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they left back with howls of horror.**

"Why? What happened?" Lily said in a frantic voice.

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits. **

"It was fun payback," Harry remarked with a grin.

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come…. Thanksss, amigo."**

"So you're definitely a parselmouth, then?" James asked Harry, who repeated the same explanation he had given Lily.

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

"**But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

"I kind of feel sorry for him," Ginny remarked. "He was just a muggle who was confronted with something he didn't believe in, even if he didn't know it was magic."

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death.**

"Melodramatic idiots," Hermione remarked.

**But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**

"Evil Ratty," Sirius muttered under his breath.

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. **

"You know, giant fatty, if you keep treating someone like crap, it'll eventually come back to bite you in the ass," James said to the book.

**He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go – cupboard – stay – no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

"I repeat, that'll come back to bite you in the ass. Lily, how long could you get for child abuse?"

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking into the kitchen for some food.**

"Ah yes, the number one rule of stealing and pranking: never get caught," Sirius announced.

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash.**

"Great, the 'car crash' again," James said in an undertone. He would be having some serious words with the Dursleys at some point, sooner rather than later.

**He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. **

"That's cause there WAS no car crash!" Sirius exclaimed loudly.

**Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead. This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from.**

"You survived the killing curse, not a car crash!" Ron said hotly.

**He couldn't remember his parents at all. his aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house.**

"And where were me and Sirius at this time?" Remus asked.

"Sirius was in Askaban, but you I'm not sure about," Harry answered. Everyone from the past's jaws dropped.

"How did Sirius get in Askaban?" James asked.

"Long story short, he was arrested for a crime he didn't commit," Hermione replied.

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family.**

"They lavish their son with all kinds of crap, yet Petunia treat her only blood relative like crap?!" Lily exclaimed. Everyone looked at her shocked, for Lily Evans was not someone you usually caught swearing.

**Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking woman dressed all in green had waved merrily to him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

"It's apparition, Harry, haven't you heard?" Ginny teased.

"I know that now, but I was an innocent little bugger back that," he replied, grinning.

**At school, Harry had no one. Everyone knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

There were many outbursts after the chapter was finished, and it took almost ten minutes before the room was calm again. Ginny took the book to read the next chapter.

"**The Letters from No One**," she read before she was cut off by the still-simmering potion in the corner giving off a large belch of smoke and enveloping the room's occupants in a smelly green cloud. Everyone began coughing as the smoke cleared to reveal six figures, four of which were teenagers, and the other two adults.

"No…it can't be…" Harry said in a shocked voice.

**A/N: what do you think? A bit of a cliffhanger at the end, with the people. Try and guess who they are!**


	4. Chapter 4

"**The Letters from No One**," she read before she was cut off by the still-simmering potion in the corner giving off a large belch of smoke and enveloping the room's occupants in a smelly green cloud. Everyone began coughing as the smoke cleared to reveal six figures, four of which were teenagers, and the other two adults.

"No…it can't be…" Harry said in a shocked voice. "Not you…"

"What's wrong with us?" One of the red-haired teenagers asked. "You're acting like there's something wrong with meeting the Amazing Gred and Forge!"

"You're dead!" Ginny nearly screamed, causing Fred and George to hold their ears in pain.

"Sheesh, Gin, no need to scream. We can hear you, but we don't feel dead," George told her, causing her to pinch herself to see if she was dreaming. She wasn't.

One of the adults turned to the other one. "Sirius, is it just me dreaming, or is that Lily and James?"

"No Lupin, and I don't think this is a dream. Hold on, let me check." He pinched himself as painfully as he could. "Yep, we're not dreaming. But that means…" he trailed off as he caught sight of the room's other occupants.

"Harry, what're you doing here? And where is here?" Older Sirius asked while turning to view the room. "Weren't you at Hogwarts, getting ready for O.W.L.s?"

"No, Lupin, that was four years ago, we've graduated since then."

"Then how…?"

"I don't know exactly why, but Harry's potion suddenly began giving off smoke, and here you are," Hermione cut in.

Well, what's happened since…erm…four years ago?" Sirius asked.

"Well, we're reading these books about my life, so you'll have to listen," Harry stated, as if commenting on the weather. "Oh, by the way, your younger selves are here too," he added, still acting like he was talking about weather.

The older and younger versions looked at each other and gaped.

"Well, this'll make things more difficult," the older Sirius remarked.

"I think that when speaking about us, then the younger Sirius should be called Sirius, older Sirius should be Padfoot, I'll stay Remus, and my older self should be Moony," the younger Remus remarked. The other three nodded.

**(Just so you know, this is how I'll refer to them as.)**

The greasy-haired teenager turned to Lily. "Lily, what are we doing here? And why are you hugging Potter like that?" he added when he saw the way Lily was hugging James.

"Because we've decided that we're going out!" she replied cheerfully. Severus' jaw dropped. Then he pulled out his wand and pointed it at James. "Let her go!"

"Or what, you'll hex me?"

"Hell, yeah! _Sectumsempra_!" The spell wasn't very effective, as James had used a shield charm just in time to blunt the force used against him; that didn't completely dull it, however. James screamed with pain when the spell hit him, and he dropped onto his knees, and instantly every wand in the room was pointing at Severus, forcing him to drop his wand and raise his hands in the air.

"Why are you all acting like this? Especially you, Lily, I thought you hated James, unless…" his eyes widened. "You've been confounded!"

"Nonsense," Lily scoffed. "You can even look at James' memory if you want, there's a Pensive around here somewhere," Harry added, looking for said Pensive.

"I'd rather not," Severus sniffed.

There was much arguing, during which the final new person was looking at the rest of the room's occupants with a look of disgust on her face.

"WILL YOU QUIT ARGUING, YOU BUNCH OF FREAKS!!!" Petunia Evans shouted at the top of her lungs. All eyes turned to her, all with a very angry look in them. Petunia gulped. Being in a room full of magical people, or 'freaks', was not at the top of her priority list. In fact, it was quite close to the bottom.

"Petunia," Lily growled menacingly. "Lily," Petunia growled back.

"WHY THE F***ING HELL DID YOU DO IT?!?" Lily asked loudly in a voice that was filled with malice.

"Why'd I do what, freak?" Petunia asked her in return.

"WHY'D YOU TREAT HARRY LIKE THAT?!?!" Lily screamed at Petunia.

"Why'd she do what now?" Fred and George asked simultaneously.

"This…this…pathetic excuse for a human being," Lily spat, "treated my son like…like…" she was trying to find the words to describe how Petunia and Vernon Dursley had treated Harry in the last chapter, but she was failing.

James tried to calm down his newly proclaimed girlfriend, although he too was glaring daggers at Petunia.

Severus seemed reluctant to take sides in the argument. On the one hand, Lily's sister had apparently badly mistreated Lily's son for most of his life; on the other hand, James Potter, his mortal enemy, was with Lily, his first and only love. He eventually decided, much to his own reluctance, to join with James in the argument.

Petunia kept insisting that she didn't know what the hell the other three were talking about, and that they were all "freaks from hell." This only made things worse, and when it was over, the new people had been given a short summary of everything that had happened, while Petunia was spitting with fury from the chair she had been tied to. She was eventually given a silencing charm for her trouble.

Ginny took the book back, and began to read again.

"**The Letters From No One**," she read.

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started**

"Okay, even Petunia's got to admit that's child abuse," Moony said, and Petunia nodded, seemingly reluctantly, and opened her mouth to try and speak, but found she couldn't, because of the silencing charm. Ginny lifted the silencing charm from Petunia.

"Who are all these people," she asked Lily in a friendlier tone. Lily apologized, and began to introduce everyone.

"My son Harry, his friends Ron and Hermione, his girlfriend Ginny, Ginny's twin brothers, my boyfriend James, his friends Remus and Sirius, their older counterparts, and of course you know Sev," lily said, introducing each person in turn.

"Great. Can I be untied now?" Petunia asked.

"Only if you don't insult us," the room chorused back.

"Fine."

**and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches. **

"This kid's a brat, whose kid is he anyway?" Petunia asked Lily.

"Yours."

"What? But I'd never raise a kid to be like this…fatboy!" she cried.

"Well, you did."

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader. **

"You know, that actually makes sense, in a retarded way," Sirius remarked.

**The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting. **

Many growls could be heard, even, surprisingly, from Severus and Petunia.

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny. **

"Why should Fatty think it's funny?" Fred asked.

"Don't, Fred, life has no meaning to Fatty," George told him.

"**They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?" **

"**No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. **

They all burst out laughing.

**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. **

"Why shouldn't you like cats?" Ginny asked, shocked.

"Ginny's a cat lover," harry explained at the looks of confusion.

**She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years. **

"That's just a waste," Remus and Moony said at the same time.

**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life. **

"You mean for being a jerk?" Hermione asked sweetly.

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. **

"Ickle Dudleykins?" Lily asked Petunia, trying not to laugh.

"What? I can't embarrass my kid?" she asked with a huff.

**Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh. **

James looked worried. Only one of his ribs had cracked.

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water. **

"**What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question. **

"**Your new school uniform," she said. **

**Harry looked in the bowl again. **

"**Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."**

"Sarcasm is lost on Petunia," Lily told Harry in an undertone.

"HEY!" Petunia shouted.

"Sorry," Lily said. "Not," she quietly told Harry.

"**Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished." **

James snorted.

**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High — like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably. **

"Maybe, or it might be hippo skin," George said to Harry.

**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table. **

"Even in the shower?" the Twins asked Harry. "I'm not sure, but I think so, I never bothered to check," he explained.

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. **

"**Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. **

"**Make Harry get it." **

"**Get the mail, Harry." **

"**Make Dudley get it." **

"Fight, Harry!" James shouted.

"**Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley." **

James growled.

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and — **_**a letter for Harry**_**. **

"It sounds as though your kid never got any mail," Petunia remarked to Lily. Lily glared back. "Oh, right."

**Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. **

"Wow, you really did have a miserable existence before you met me and Ron," Hermione remarked to Harry.

**Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives — he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake: **

_**Mr. H. Potter **_

_**The Cupboard under the Stairs **_

_**4 Privet Drive **_

_**Little Whinging **_

_**Surrey**_

"It's always creepy how they do that," the Siriuses observed together.

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp. **

**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter **_**H**_**. **

"**Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke. **

"Okay, that was terrible! He should be ashamed of himself for laughing at that!" James shouted, while the other jokers cringed at the terrible joke.

**Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope. **

"You know, he really should have opened that in the hall," Severus remarked. "Then again, he's got Potter's brain, so I'm not surprised." James growled angrily in response.

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard. **

"**Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk…" **

"**Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!" **

"Thanks a Lot, Fatty! You're going to get Harry in trouble!" the Twins yelled.

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon. **

"Fat bastard!" James growled angrily.

"**That's **_**mine**_**!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back. **

"**Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon,**

"Lots of people, they just don't…erm…" Harry trailed off when he realized that the rest of the people in the room had either been dead, didn't know him at that time, or they hated him.

**shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge. **

"**P-P-Petunia!" he gasped. **

"Wow, dramatic much?" Padfoot asked with an eye roll.

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise. **

"**Vernon! Oh my goodness - Vernon!"**

"I repeat, dramatic much?"

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick. **

"**I want to read that letter," he said loudly. **

"Nooooo!" Ginny said in a singsong voice.

"_**I **_**want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's **_**mine**_**." **

"Okay, I've got to admit that he should have gotten to read the letter. It was his, after all, even though it probably was for your freak school," Petunia said reluctantly. Everyone glared at her for the 'freak' statement.

"**Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope. **

**Harry didn't move. **

"**I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

"**Let **_**me **_**see it!" demanded Dudley. **

"**OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole; **

"Go Harry!"

**Dudley won,**

"Damn."

**so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor. **

"**Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address — how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?" **

"No, the headmaster writes the letter, then they put a spell on the letter to show the address. I've seen McGonagall do it," Hermione explained.

"**Watching — spying — might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

"What did I just say?!"

"**But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want —" **

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen. **

"**No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer… Yes, that's best… we won't do anything…" **

"Okay, that's a terrible idea. If you don't answer the letter, then they keep sending them, and eventually they send someone to get you personally," Lily remarked.

"**But —" **

"**I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?" **

"Magic is only dangerous in the hands of dark wizards," Ron said sagely.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard. **

They all gasped.

"He actually FIT?!?! The world is ending! Run for your lives!" James cried dramatically.

"**Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?" **

"**No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. **

"See my above comment."

**"I have burned it." **

"Idiot, they'll just keep coming," Severus sneered.

"**It was **_**not **_**a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it." **

"**SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling. **

Lily and Ron started hyperventilating from fear.

**He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful. **

"Probably was," one of the Twins said.

"**Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking… you're really getting a bit big for it… we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom."**

Once this statement sunk in, every person in the drawing room looked shocked. Then they all started getting an enraged expression on their faces. Even Petunia and Severus. The room exploded in a storm of swear words cursing the Dursleys for everything they did to Harry. It took about ten minutes to calm everyone down, but they still continued reading with angry expressions on their faces.

"**Why?" said Harry. **

"**Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now." **

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom.**

"Spoiled brat. Why do you pamper him so much?" Remus asked Petunia. Petunia merely shrugged.

"He's in my future, so how the hell would I know?" she answered. "He acts like a…a…" She was at a loss for words to describe Dudley Dursley, apparently her only son.

**It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched. **

"They probably weren't, Dudders never liked books," Harry remarked.

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't **_**want **_**him in there… I **_**need **_**that room… make him get out…"**

"How about…no." Lily said sweetly.

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it. **

"I know that feeling," Sirius and Padfoot said simultaneously, they looked at each other before Sirius decided to explain. "My dear old mum would often take away things I really liked, and in an effort to make it up to me, she would give me something else, usually pureblood-related."

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.**

"That should really happen more often, just so that he'll learn his lesson," Remus observed monotonously.

**Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly. **

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it. **

**They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive —'" **

"F*** you, Fatty. F*** you," the Twins chorused.

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind. **

"Good going, Harry," James said, cheering his son on.

**After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, **

"Even Fatty?" Sirius asked. Harry nodded.

"I'm not sure how that happened, myself, I just know he was yelping."

**Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand. **

"**Go to your cupboard — I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley — go — just go." **

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again?**

"Yep."

**And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan. **

"If this Potter is anything like the original, then the plan will fail," Severus sneered.

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights. **

"Hey, it's…not bad," Severus said, shocked. He quickly composed himself, though. "I'll bet that your uncle will have done something to stop it, though," he added to Harry.

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first. His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door — **

"**AAAAARRRGH!" **

"Knew it."

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat — something **_**alive**_**! **

**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face. **

They all burst out laughing.

**Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do.**

"Told you," Severus said calmly.

**He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink. **

"**I want —" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes. **

"Okay, that's just cruel," Petunia acknowledged.

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot. **

"**See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't **_**deliver **_**them they'll just give up." **

"**I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon." **

"**Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him. **

"If that's how your mind works…" George began slowly.

"Then we don't want to be like you!" Fred ended, and the Twins high-fived each other happily, while everyone laughed.

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom. **

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises. **

"Okay, I think he's gone crazy from paranoia," Moony observed.

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two-dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor. **

"Why does he like to complain so much?" James asked.

"**Who on earth wants to talk to **_**you **_**this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy. **

"**No post on Sundays,"**

"There's still owl post," Ginny said, a knowing look on her face.

**he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today —" **

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head.**

"HAHAHAHA!" Ron laughed with a look of glee on his face.

**Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one — **

"Why didn't you try taking one off the ground?" Hermione asked Harry. "I wasn't really thinking," he replied ashamedly.

"**Out! OUT!" **

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.**

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor. **

"**That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. "I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!" **

**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue. **

"I'll bet an angry Hagrid would look scarier," Padfoot said thoughtfully. Harry suddenly got a superior look on his face.

**Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag. ]**

"That's what you get for being a spoiled brat!" Sirius said happily.

**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while. **

"**Shake 'em off… shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.**

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer. **

"Okay, I can admit to the hungry part, but still, these things happen, Fatty. Get used to it," Padfoot mocked.

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering… **

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table. **

"'**Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk." **

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address: **

_**Mr. H. Potter **_

_**Room 17 **_

_**Railview Hotel **_

_**Cokeworth **_

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared. **

"And she didn't say anything? What is she, drunk??" Ron asked.

"**I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room. **

"**Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her. **

"He's crazy," the Twins remarked together.

**Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage. **

"**Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. **

"Nice of you to notice, Dudders. Join the club," Harry said.

**Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared. **

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled. **

"**It's Monday," **

"Awww, my wittle baby Duddikins is learning the days of the week," Petunia mocked. 'wait, what? Am I starting to actually LIKE these freaks?!?!' she thought to herself. 'I must be going as crazy as they are!'

**He told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a **_**television**_**." **

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it **_**was **_**Monday — and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television — then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday. **

"Happy birthday Harry!" Lily cheered. She was glad she was finally able to congratulate her son in some way, so she got up and gave him a hug. She sat back down with a happy smile on her face.

**Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun — last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. **

The smile slid away as though it had never been there.

**Still, you weren't eleven every day. **

**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. **

"Not good," Severus muttered.

**He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought. **

"I'll bet it was a gun!" Ron shouted. Sirius snorted. "Ha! I bet it was a wand, so he could protect himself!"

"Fine, I bet a galleon that it was a gun!"

"Make it two and you're on!"

Everyone snickered. They all knew that Sirius was going to lose, as Muggles couldn't use magic wands.

"**Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!" **

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there. **

"Oh, no! the world will end because Dudley Dursley can't watch television!" James cried dramatically, while everyone laughed. James almost fell over out of shock when he saw that Severus Snape, his mortal enemy, was laughing at one of his jokes! Severus quickly stopped, though.

"**Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!" **

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them. **

"**I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!" **

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house. **

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms. **

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up. **

"We won't even say anything," Fred began.

"It's just too easy," his twin finished.

"**Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. **

"Looks like the personal delivery will be coming up," Ginny noted.

**Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all. **

"Awww, cheer up Harry," James said, clapping the real Harry on the back.

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket. **

There was instant silence.

**Several floors below**

Kreacher, still preparing his master's lunch, looked up as he heard the loud cursing again. He sighed, shrugged, and began the long trek up the stairs to inform his master that lunch was ready.

**The drawing room**

It took a little while to calm everyone down, but they continued after everyone was settled.

**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now. **

"Probably on his way to that shack."

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did. Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow. **

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea? **

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds… twenty… ten… nine — maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him — three… two… one… BOOM. **

"DO IT!" all the pranksters (the Twins, the Marauders, and the Marauders' older counterparts) yelled.

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Ginny said. "Who wants to read now?" The Twins raised their hands simultaneously.

"Okay, ummm… decide among yourselves who's going to read," she told them. The Twins whooped, and began a VERY long game of rock-paper-scissors. Fred had just won, when they heard a knock at the door. The door opened to reveal Kreacher, dressed in an apron. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was almost touching the ground out of shocked.

"Wh-what are you doing here?!? You're dead!!" he shrieked. Harry got up and explained everything to Kreacher, while the rest of the room looked at Kreacher with mixed reactions. Some angry, others creeped-out, and one scared.

"What is that thing?!" Petunia shrieked, causing everyone to jump. Lily quickly explained to her what a house-elf was.

"Oh yeah, master Harry, lunch is ready," Kreacher said, remembering why he had gone upstairs in the first place.

"Thanks Kreacher." And so they all went downstairs for lunch.

* * *

**I kind of think this chapter was a dud. But that's just me.**


	5. Chapter 5

After finishing lunch, they all settled back in the drawing room to read again, and Harry gave the book to Fred.

"**Chapter Four**," he read," **The Keeper of the Keys**."

Sounds like Hagrid."

"It is, Ron, now be quiet so Fred can read."

**BOOM.**

"Fred!"

"What? You're supposed to YELL the words in capitols!"

"Well then yell quieter next time!"

**They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake.**

"**Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.**

They laughed.

"He's not just fat, he's stupid too!" Sirius managed to say through his barklike laughter.

**There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands – now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.**

"He SERIOUSLY brought a gun with you?!?" Lily shrieked to Harry, who winced, along with Petunia, who knew she was probably going to get yelled at, even though she hadn't done anything. Yet.

"No, I'm Sirius, not you," Sirius joked, while his friends rolled their eyes at his old joke.

"**Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you, I'm armed!"**

"Well of course you're armed, it would be pretty hard to do things without arms," Ron quipped. "by the way, Sirius, pay up." Sirius grimaced, and handed over two galleons.

**There was a pause. Then –**

**SMASH!**

"Seriously Fred, stop!"

"He's not Sirius, I am!"

"WE KNOW!!"

**The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.**

**A giant of a man was standing in the doorway.**

"Yeah, it's Hagrid," Harry said to the others' questioning looks.

"Way to be anticlimactic, Harry," Fred chortled before continuing.

**His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair.**

"Hasn't changed a bit," Lily chuckled happily.

**The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all.**

"**Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey…"**

"Typical Hagrid," Ginny smiled.

**He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

"**Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.**

Everyone cracked up laughing.

"Truer words have never been spoken," James said, wiping a tear away from his eye.

**Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon.**

"I was surprised that he was even able to fit behind him," Harry laughed.

"**An' here's Harry!" said the giant.**

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.**

"**Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yer dad, **

"Understatement of the century," Sirius grinned. "You two could be twins, except for Lily's eyes." They all laughed at Lily's embarrassed blush.

**but yeh've got yer mom's eyes."**

**Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise.**

"**I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"**

"Like that'll work," Severus snorted.

"**Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune!," said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.**

**Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.**

"What DOES a mouse being trodden on sound like?" Harry asked the two Lupins.

"It's basically a loud squeak," Moony explained. No one decided to question him, since he had the best hearing of anyone there, and everyone knew it, since they all knew he was a werewolf, since Sirius had had let it slip during lunch. At first, Severus and Petunia had been fearful, but Severus had accepted it first, as he'd already been attacked by Remus once (**the time James saved Snape's life in the books)**. Petunia, on the otherhand, was still wary around Remus, and kept to the other side of the room.

"**Anyway – Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy to yeh. Got summat for yeh here – I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."**

**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate**

"WHERE?!? WHERE'S THE CHOCOLATE?!?!" Remus yelled, rapidly turning his head to try and find said chocolate.

"Calm down, Moony. It's not real, it's in the book," James said, trying to calm down his friend. Remus sighed, a disappointed expression on his face.

**cake with **_**Happy Birthday Harry**_** written on it in green icing.**

The women all cooed, and Harry blushed with embarrassment. The men (except for the Remuses) snickered.

**Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"**

"How rude, Harry," George said in a false-chiding voice, "Where are you manners?" Harry pouted.

**The giant chuckled. **

"**True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." **

**He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm. **

"Yeah, I hate it when he does that," Padfoot remarked with a pained expression on his haunted face.

"**What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind." **

**His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath. **

**The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea.**

"I keep meaning to ask Hagrid how many pockets he has," Ron commented airily.

**Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley." **

"What do you think's stronger in Dudley, the desire to eat, or the fear of magic," Hermione said with a lofty air.

**The giant chuckled darkly. **

"**Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry." **

"Truer words have been spoken only once before," Sirius recalled, a huge smile on his face.

**He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful, but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are." **

**The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. **

"**Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts — yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."**

"Crap, here it comes," Harry sighed softly.

"**Er — no," said Harry. **

**Hagrid looked shocked. **

"**Sorry," Harry said quickly. **

"_**Sorry**_**?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?" **

"**All what?" asked Harry. **

"**ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!" **

"Scary time!" the Twins cheered together. "And for once he's not angry at us!"

**He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall. **

"**Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy — this boy! — knows nothin' abou' — about ANYTHING?" **

"Alright, that made you feel like an idiot, didn't it?" Lily said to Harry.

**Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad. **

"**I know **_**some **_**things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff." **

Everyone except for Harry snorted. Harry just pouted.

**But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About **_**our **_**world, I mean. **_**Your **_**world. **_**My **_**world. **_**Yer parents' world**_**." **

"**What world?" **

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode. **

"Run to the hills! He's going to explode!" Ron cried to general laughter.

"**DURSLEY!" he boomed. **

**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble."**

"What's that mean, anyway?" Petunia said to no one in particular.

**Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. **"**But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said. "I mean, they're **_**famous**_**. You're **_**famous**_**." **

"**What? My — my mum and dad weren't famous, were they?" **

"YES! I'M FAMOUS!!" James cheered, until he remembered exactly what he was famous for. Lily gave him a hug, even though she too was sobbing.

"**Yeh don' know…yeh don' know…" Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare. **

"**Yeh don' know what yeh **_**are**_**?" he said finally. **

"You're a mentally challenged hippogriff that has been taught how to swim," Padfoot said. Everyone burst out laughing.

**Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice. **

"**Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"**

"…And?"

**A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage. **

"**You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?" **

Everyone looked at Petunia, who lowered her head in shame for her future self.

"**Kept **_**what **_**from me?" said Harry eagerly. **

"**STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic. **

"…And what'll you do if you can't stop Hagrid?"

**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror. **

"**Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid. "Harry — yer a wizard."**

"…Well, that was dramatic," Severus remarked. "No sense of drama whatsoever."

**There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard. **

"**I'm a **_**what**_**?" gasped Harry. **

"A FREAKING HIPPOGRIFF!!!" Moony, who was sitting next to Padfoot, jumped up and glared at him. He decided to sit next to Remus, since he knew how sensitive his own hearing was.

"**A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good 'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."**

"Yes, it was."

"Harry, we know this is your life we're reading about. You don't need to emphasize it."

"Yes, Ginny."

**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to **_**Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. **_**He pulled out the letter and read: **

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY **_

_**Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE **_

_**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards) **_

_**Dear Mr. Potter, **_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. **_

_**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. **_

_**Yours sincerely, **_

_**Minerva McGonagall, **_

_**Deputy Headmistress **_

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?" **

"Out of thousands of questions, you chose that one." Lily chuckled. "Of course, that's the first one I asked, too."

"**Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, **

"Hey, George, remember that time we asked Hagrid to knock over a cart horse?"

"Yes, Fred, yes I do."

"Why, what happened?" Hermione asked.

Fred spoke up first. "He originally refused, then he turned around and ran into one. Needless to say, the cart horse didn't stand a chance."

"Then he put it back on his feet and apologized," his twin added.

**and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl** — **a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl — a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down: **

_**Dear Professor Dumbledore, **_

_**Given Harry his letter. **_

_**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow. **_

_**Weather's horrible. Hope you're well. **_

_**Hagrid **_

"Yeah can read his handwriting upside-down? I can barely read it right side up!" James said, shock evident in his voice.

**Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone.**

"It is normal, for us,"

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly. **

"**Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight. **

"**He's not going," he said. **

**Hagrid grunted. **

"**I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.**

"**A what?" said Harry, interested.**

"I was so innocent back then," Harry sighed and shook his head.

"**A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on." **

"**We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"**

"**You **_**knew**_**?" said Harry. "You **_**knew **_**I'm a — a wizard?" **

"'Course, Petunia told him, DIDN'T YOU?" Lily added this remark to the person in question, who could only nod.

"**Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "**_**Knew**_**! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was?**

"Knew it."

**Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that **_**school **_**— and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats.** **I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"**

"Wow… you really feel that way?" Petunia nodded reluctantly. "I hate that you have magic powers, and I'm…just…normal. It's not fair you got all the magic genes!" she ended with a sob. Lily put her arm around her and lent her a shoulder to cry on. "There's not really anything I can do about the magic, you DO have your own talents, you just need to find them. I, on the other hand, don't really have any talents other than magic and smarts."

Petunia blew her nose loudly.

"I guess I have talents. I mean, I'm a master at styling hair!" she said, trying to be upbeat. "That's one thing I can do well at!"

James started crying at the emotions running high in the room. Lily put an arm around him as well, and he started to feel better. They continued reading once everyone had gotten their emotions out of them.

**She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years.**

"**Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as — as —**_**abnormal **_**— and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!" **

**Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!" **

"…" everyone looked at Petunia. "What?"

"**CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!" **

"No wonder you didn't know anything about wizards when we met you," Ginny said to Harry. "It was because of those…those…things!"

"Hey! I'm not a thing!"

"You just keep telling yourself that, Potter."

"Shut up Snape."

"**But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently. **

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious. **

"**I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh — but someone's gotta — yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'." **

**He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys. **

"**Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh — mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it…" **

"Not to us," Harry said with a smirk.

**He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with — with a person called — but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows —" **

"**Who?" **

"**Well — I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does." **

"**Why not?" **

"**Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went…bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was…" **

"Go on, Hagrid!"

"Ummm… Padfoot? He can't hear."

"…Shut up Moony."

**Hagrid gulped, but no words came out. **

"**Could you write it down?" Harry suggested. **

"**Nah — can't spell it. All right —**_**Voldemort**_**. "**

"Yes! Probably the only time he will ever say Voldemort, and it's my son who gets him to do it!"

**Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches…terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him — an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway. **

Everyone from the future (in this case, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione) grimaced, remembering how the school had been taken over by Death Eaters in their last year there. Everyone else just looked confused at their reactions.

"**Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day!**

"What the hell? We knew Remus was a prefect, but James! Head Boy!" the Twins yelled

"I know! Traitors to the cause!" Sirius cried dramatically. The three of them collapsed in fake sobbing while everyone but Remus, Moony, and James laughed. They just sulked.

**Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his** **side before…probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side. **

"**Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em…maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' — an' —"**

James felt the sudden urge to pull Lily and Harry closer to himself, which he complied.

**Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn. **

"**Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad — knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find — anyway… **

"Remember me to thank Hagrid next time I see him," James told Sirius.

"**You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then — an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing — he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh — took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even — but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry.**

"Whoo! My son's famous!' James cried.

"Believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be," Harry said while sulking.

"**No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age — the McKinnons,**

Sirius straightened, remembering his new girlfriend, Marlene McKinnon.

**The Bones,** **The Prewitts**

The Weasleys looked sad about being reminded that the Prewitt twins were no longer with them.

— **an' you was only a baby, an' you lived." **

**Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before — and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh. **

**Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

"**Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot…." **

"**Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon.**

**Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched. **

"**Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured**

"Yeah, your beating!" Ron snarled back.

— **and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdoes, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion — asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types — just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end —" **

**But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley — I'm warning you — one more word…" **

**In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent. **

"Good riddance," Hermione muttered.

"**That's better," said Hagrid,**

**Breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor. **

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them. **

"**But what happened to Vol-, sorry — I mean, You-Know-Who?"**

"You mean you ACTUALLY called him You-Know-Who once?!? OhMyGodTheWorldIsEnding!" Ron screamed. Harry just rolled his eyes.

"**Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see…he was gettin' more an' more powerful — why'd he go? **

"**Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back. **

"**Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on — **_**I **_**dunno what it was, no one does — but somethin' about you stumped him, all right." **

Harry received a standing ovation from the audience, which he pretended to bow to.

**in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football? **

The growls could almost be heard from downstairs.

"**Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard." **

**To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled. **

"**Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?" **

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it…every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry…chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach…dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back…and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him? **

**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him. **

"**See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard — you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts." **

**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

"**Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish — spell books and wands and —" **

"**If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled—" **

"**I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. **

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He's going DOWN!" Padfoot cackled, gangster style.

**But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER —" he thundered, "— INSULT — ALBUS — DUMBLEDORE — IN — FRONT — OF — ME!" **

**He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley — there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.**

It took about twenty minutes for the room to calm down enough to finish reading.

**Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard. **

"**Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do." **

"He's right, all he needed was the curly tail!" Harry said to much laughter.

**He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows**.

"**Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm — er — not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff — one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job." **

"**Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. **

"**Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore." **

"**Why were you expelled?" **

James took Harry by the shoulder and led him into a corner of the room. "You know, Harry, you need a crash course in how to weasel information out of people. Want me to teach you?" he asked. When Harry nodded, James cackled evilly and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent. We'll start tomorrow."

"**It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that." **

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry. **

"**You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."**

"Hagrid! That's disgusting!" all of the women yelled. Several hundred miles away, in his little cottage on the grounds of Hogwarts, Hagrid sneezed.

"That's the end of the chapter," Fred said, closing the book. "Now what are we going to do for sleeping?" everyone turned to Harry, who sighed. "your rooms are all this way," he said, leading them on.

* * *

**That's a wrap. See if you can find the references to Prongsie123's The Order and the Philosopher's Stone!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is the last of the prewritten chapters, so don't expect updates to be as frequent from now on.**

After a good night's sleep, the group gathered together again in the drawing room.

"Whose turn is it to read?" Harry asked.

"Mine," George answered, and took the book.

"**Chapter Five**," he read. "**Diagon Alley**."

**Harry woke early the next morning. Although he could tell it was daylight, he kept his eyes shut tight.**

"**It was a dream," he told himself firmly. " I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I'll be at home in my cupboard."**

"Wow, Harry… That's just sad," Ron remarked.

**There was suddenly a loud tapping noise.**

"They're coming for you, Harry…" Sirius said ominously.

_**And there's Aunt Petunia knocking on the door, **_**Harry thought, his heart sinking. But it had been such a good dream.**

"Awww," Lily sighed, looking at Harry. She was still upset that she hadn't been there for his early years, and she was determined to make up for that, starting with a hug. Harry patted her on the head when she was finished.

**Tap. Tap. Tap.**

**"All right," Harry mumbled, "I'm getting up."**

**He sat up and Hagrid's heavy coat fell off him. the hut was full of sunlight, the storm was over, Hagrid himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl rapping its claw on the window, a newspaper held in its beak.**

**Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him. **

"That's a… unique sensation," Hermione remarked.

**He went straight to the window and jerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up. The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack Hagrid's coat.**

"**Don't do that." **

**Harry tried to wave the owl out of the way, but it snapped its beak fiercely at him and carried on savaging the coat. **

"**Hagrid!" said Harry loudly. "There's an owl —" **

"**Pay him," Hagrid grunted into the sofa. **

"Brilliant, as usual, Hagrid," Severus sneered. "He didn't know what you meant at all."

"What, so HE can talk to the book and I can't?" James shrieked loudly. Lily cleared her throat for him to hear her over his yelling. "He's not crazy, like you." James looked shocked.

"**What?" **

"**He wants payin' fer deliverin' the paper. Look in the pockets." **

**Hagrid's coat seemed to be made of nothing **_**but **_**pockets — bunches of keys, slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs, teabags… finally, Harry pulled out a handful of strange-looking coins. **

"**Give him five Knuts," said Hagrid sleepily. **

"**Knuts?" **

"**The little bronze ones." **

**Harry counted out five little bronze coins, and the owl held out his leg so Harry could put the money into a small leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window. **

**Hagrid yawned loudly, sat up, and stretched. **

"**Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school." **

**Harry was turning over the wizard coins and looking at them. He had just thought of something that made him feel as though the happy balloon inside him had got a puncture.**

"I definitely don't know how that feels," Hermione said with a shudder. "And I don't want to, either."

"**Um — Hagrid?" **

"**Mm?" said Hagrid, who was pulling on his huge boots. **

"**I haven't got any money — and you heard Uncle Vernon last night… he won't pay for me to go and learn magic." **

"**Don't worry about that," said Hagrid, standing up and scratching his head. "D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything?" **

"**But if their house was destroyed —" **

"**They didn' keep their gold in the house, boy!**

"Yeah, who keeps their gold in their house?" Sirius asked. "Muggles," Petunia said as she waved for George to continue.

**Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank. Have a sausage, they're not bad cold — an' I wouldn' say no teh a bit o' yer birthday cake, neither." **

"**Wizards have **_**banks**_**?" **

"**Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins." **

**Harry dropped the bit of sausage he was holding. **

Ron and the two Siriuses curled up into the fetal position and starting muttering nonsense about wasting food.

"_**Goblins**_**?" **

"**Yeah — so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it,**

"We're not mad!" Harry said hotly. The people from the past stared at him. They hadn't **(SPOILER! SPOILER!)** heard the story about the Golden Trio breaking into Gringotts and escaping on a dragon (**Okay, spoiler's over, it's safe to read now**). "You'll learn about it later," Harry said as he waved for George to continue again.

**I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Harry. Gringotts is the safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe — 'cept maybe Hogwarts.**

"Like…IT," Ginny said ominously. The future people laughed, and the past people scratched their heads, again not having heard the story of (**MORE SPOILERS!**) Fluffy.

**As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business." Hagrid drew himself up proudly. "He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you — gettin' things from Gringotts — knows he can trust me, see." **

"Yep, I once heard him say he'd trust Hagrid with his life," Moony said with a grin. The future people bowed their heads, and the past people were confused, since they hadn't heard about (**AGAIN WITH THE SPOILERS!**) Dumbledore's death. **(I swear, this is the last spoiler. I swear it on the person closest-to-you's life!)**

"**Got everythin'? Come on, then." Harry followed Hagrid out onto the rock. The sky was quite clear now and the sea gleamed in the sunlight. The boat Uncle Vernon had hired was still there, with a lot of water in the bottom after the storm. **

"**How did you get here?" Harry asked, looking around for another boat. **

"**Flew," said Hagrid. **

"_**Flew**_**?" **

"Probably used my motorbike," Sirius beamed as a ray of sunlight came through the window and hit his teeth, making everyone shield their eyes from the glare.

"**Yeah — but we'll go back in this. Not s'pposed ter use magic now I've got yeh." **

**They settled down in the boat, Harry still staring at Hagrid, trying to imagine him flying. **

"**Seems a shame ter row, though," said Hagrid, giving Harry another of his sideways looks. "If I was ter — er — speed things up a bit, would yeh mind not mentionin' it at Hogwarts?" **

"**Of course not," said Harry, eager to see more magic. Hagrid pulled out the pink umbrella again, tapped it twice on the side of the boat, and they sped off toward land. **

"**Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?" Harry asked.**

"WE'RE NOT BLOODY MAD!"

"**Spells — enchantments," said Hagrid, unfolding his newspaper as he spoke. "They say there's dragons guardin' the high security vaults. And then yeh gotta find yer way — Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, see. Deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out, even if yeh did manage ter get yer hands on summat." **

The Golden Trio looked at each other.

**Harry sat and thought about this while Hagrid read his newspaper, the **_**Daily Prophet**_**. Harry had learned from Uncle Vernon that people liked to be left alone while they did this,**

"I know, my dad used to jinx me while he read, just to get some peace and quiet!" James then launched into a long-winded story about something-or-other, at which point George just started reading again.

**but**** it was very difficult, he'd never had so many questions in his life. **

"And someone who'll actually answer them." Lily glared at Petunia, who shrugged.

"**Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual," Hagrid muttered, turning the page. **

"**There's a Ministry of Magic?" Harry asked, before he could stop himself. **

"'**Course," said Hagrid. "They wanted Dumbledore fer Minister, o' course, but he'd never leave Hogwarts, so old Cornelius Fudge got the job. Bungler if ever there was one. So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice." **

"**But what does a Ministry of Magic **_**do**_**?" **

"**Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country."**

"**Why?" **

"_**Why? **_**Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone." **

**At this moment the boat bumped gently into the harbor wall. Hagrid folded up his newspaper, and they clambered up the stone steps onto the street. **

**Passersby stared a lot at Hagrid as they walked through the little town to the station.**

"I know, he's the biggest person I know!" Remus remarked.

**Harry couldn't blame them. Not only was Hagrid twice as tall as anyone else, he kept pointing at perfectly ordinary things like parking meters and saying loudly, "See that, Harry? Things these Muggles dream up, eh?" **

"Subtle, anyone?" Severus asked.

"**Hagrid," said Harry, panting a bit as he ran to keep up, "did you say there are **_**dragons **_**at Gringotts?" **

"**Well, so they say," said Hagrid. "Crikey, I'd like a dragon." **

"**You'd **_**like **_**one?" **

"**Wanted one ever since I was a kid — here we go." **

"And he lives in a wooden hut. It won't last five minutes," Remus said as he shook his head.

**They had reached the station. There was a train to London in five minutes' time. Hagrid, who didn't understand "Muggle money," as he called it, gave the bills to Harry so he could buy their tickets.**

**People stared more than ever on the train. Hagrid took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a canary-yellow circus tent. **

"**Still got yer letter, Harry?" he asked as he counted stitches. **

**Harry took the parchment envelope out of his pocket. **

"**Good," said Hagrid. "There's a list there of everything yeh need." **

**Harry unfolded a second piece of paper he hadn't noticed the night before, and read: **

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY **_

_**UNIFORM **_

_**First-year students will require: **_

_**Three sets of plain work robes (black) **_

_**2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear **_

"Which no one wears past first year," everyone said simultaneously.

_**3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) **_

_**4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings) **_

_**Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags **_

_**COURSE BOOKS **_

_**All students should have a copy of each of the following: **_

_**The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)by Miranda Goshawk **_

_**A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot **_

_**Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling **_

_**A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch**_

_**One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore **_

_**Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger **_

_**Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander**_

_**The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble **_

_**OTHER EQUIPMENT **_

_**1 wand **_

_**1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2) **_

_**1 set of glass or crystal phials **_

_**1 telescope set **_

_**1 brass scales **_

_**Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad **_

"What about Scabbers?" Fred asked Ron, who grimaced.

_**PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS **_

"**Can we buy all this in London?" Harry wondered aloud. **

"**If yeh know where to go," said Hagrid. **

**Harry had never been to London before. Although Hagrid seemed to know where he was going, he was obviously not used to getting there in an ordinary way. He got stuck in the ticket barrier on the Underground, and complained loudly that the seats were too small and the trains too slow. **

"Again, subtle, anyone?"

"**I don't know how the Muggles manage without magic," he said as they climbed a broken-down escalator that led up to a bustling road lined with shops. **

**Hagrid was so huge that he parted the crowd easily; all Harry had to do was keep close behind him. They passed book shops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but nowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic wand. This was just an ordinary street full of ordinary people. Could there really be piles of wizard gold buried miles beneath them? Were there really shops that sold spell books and broomsticks? Might this not all be some huge joke that the Dursleys had cooked up?**

"Yes Harry, everything that has happened to you for the past nine years is a lie. We have all lied to you. The cake is a lie," Ron said in a bored tone. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

**If Harry hadn't known that the Dursleys had no sense of humor, he might have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Hagrid had told him so far was unbelievable, Harry couldn't help trusting him. **

"**This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place." **

**It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub. If Hagrid hadn't pointed it out, Harry wouldn't have noticed it was there. The people hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big book shop on one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Cauldron at all. In fact, Harry had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Hagrid could see it.**

"Yeah, I had to point it out to my parents, too," Hermione said, and Lily nodded in agreement.

**Before he could mention this, Hagrid had steered him inside. **

**For a famous place, it was very dark and shabby. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old bartender, who was quite bald and looked like a toothless walnut. The low buzz of chatter stopped when they walked in. Everyone seemed to know Hagrid; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a glass, saying, "The usual, Hagrid?" **

"**Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogwarts business," said Hagrid, clapping his great hand on Harry's shoulder and making Harry's knees buckle. **

"**Good Lord," said the bartender, peering at Harry, "is this — can this be —?" **

"3…2…1…," Fred chanted.

**The Leaky Cauldron had suddenly gone completely still and silent. **

"**Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter… what an honor." **

**He hurried out from behind the bar, rushed toward Harry and seized his hand, tears in his eyes. **

"**Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back." **

**Harry didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him. The old woman with the pipe was puffing on it without realizing it had gone out. Hagrid was beaming. **

**Then there was a great scraping of chairs and the next moment, Harry found himself shaking hands with everyone in the Leaky Cauldron.**

There was a great scraping of chairs and the next moment, Harry found himself shaking hands with the Marauders, the Twins, and Ron and Ginny. The others just shook their heads in amusement.

"**Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last." **

"**So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so proud." **

"**Always wanted to shake your hand — I'm all of a flutter." **

"**Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name, Dedalus Diggle." **

"**I've seen you before!" said Harry, as Dedalus Diggle's top hat fell off in his excitement. "You bowed to me once in a shop."**

"And you'll see him again," Ginny said ominously.

"**He remembers!" cried Dedalus Diggle, looking around at everyone. "Did you hear that? He remembers me!" Harry shook hands again and again — Doris Crockford kept coming back for more. **

**A pale young man made his way forward, very nervously. One of his eyes was twitching. **

"**Professor Quirrell!" said Hagrid. "Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts." **

Harry went quiet and started muttering about something under his breath. Ron, who was sitting next to him, caught what he took to be a plan of making sure Voldemort would never return.

"**P-P-Potter," stammered Professor Quirrell, grasping Harry's hand, "c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you." **

"**What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?" **

"**D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts," muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he'd rather not think about it. **

"**N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter?" He laughed nervously. "You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself." He looked terrified at the very thought. **

Everyone who knew what Quirrell would turn out to be was muttering something at this point.

**But the others wouldn't let Professor Quirrell keep Harry to himself. It took almost ten minutes to get away from them all. At last, Hagrid managed to make himself heard over the babble. **

"**Must get on — lots ter buy. Come on, Harry." **

**Doris Crockford shook Harry's hand one last time, and Hagrid led them through the bar and out into a small, walled courtyard, where there was nothing but a trash can and a few weeds. **

**Hagrid grinned at Harry. **

"**Told yeh, didn't I? Told yeh you was famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh — mind you, he's usually tremblin'." **

"**Is he always that nervous?" **

"**Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience… They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag — never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject — now, where's me umbrella?" **

**Vampires? Hags? Harry's head was swimming. **

"Oh…My…God! Harry, your head!" James and Sirius screamed.

**Hagrid, meanwhile, was counting bricks in the wall above the trash can. **

"**Three up… two across…" he muttered. "Right, stand back, Harry." **

**He tapped the wall three times with the point of his umbrella. **

**The brick he had touched quivered — it wriggled — in the middle, a small hole appeared — it grew wider and wider — a second later they were facing an archway large enough even for Hagrid, an archway onto a cobbled street that twisted and turned out of sight. **

"**Welcome," said Hagrid, "to Diagon Alley." **

James and Lily sighed. They knew they were the ones who were supposed to show Harry around Diagon Alley his first time there, not Hagrid (they had nothing against him personally, though).

**He grinned at Harry's amazement. They stepped through the archway. Harry looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the archway shrink instantly back into solid wall. **

**The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside the nearest shop. Cauldrons — All Sizes — Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver — Self-Stirring — Collapsible, said a sign hanging over them. **

"**Yeah, you'll be needin' one," said Hagrid, "but we gotta get yer money first." **

**Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. **

"And eight arms, and two hearts, and four brains, and four legs, and couple more lungs wouldn't hurt either," Padfoot counted on his fingers as he spoke. Everyone chuckled at that mental image.

**He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, "Dragon liver, seventeen Sickles an ounce, they're mad…"**

"Wait, isn't seventeen Sickles a Galleon?" Lily asked James, who nodded, then shrugged.

**A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium — Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy. **

**Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. "Look," Harry heard one of them say, "the new Nimbus Two Thousand — fastest ever —" **

"Get it," all the Quidditch nuts in the room (James, the Siriuses, the Twins, Ron, and Ginny) said simultaneously.

**There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon… **

"**Gringotts," said Hagrid. **

**They had reached a snowy white building that towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was — **

"A mutant."

"**Yeah, that's a goblin,"**

"Damn."

**said Hagrid quietly as they walked up the white stone steps toward him. The goblin was about a head shorter than Harry. He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed beard and, Harry noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked inside. Now they were facing a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them: **

_**Enter, stranger, but take heed **_

_**Of what awaits the sin of greed, **_

_**For those who take, but do not earn, **_

_**Must pay most dearly in their turn. **_

_**So if you seek beneath our floors **_

_**A treasure that was never yours, **_

_**Thief, you have been warned, beware **_

_**Of finding more than treasure there. **_

"**Like I said, Yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it," said Hagrid.**

The Golden Trio wondered how many more times they would be called mad in the series.

**A pair of goblins bowed them through the silver doors and they were in a vast marble hall. About a hundred more goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses. There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Hagrid and Harry made for the counter. **

"**Morning," said Hagrid to a free goblin. "We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Harry Potter's safe." **

"**You have his key, sir?" **

"**Got it here somewhere," said Hagrid, and he started emptying his pockets onto the counter, scattering a handful of moldy dog biscuits over the goblin's book of numbers. The goblin wrinkled his nose. Harry watched the goblin on their right weighing a pile of rubies as big as glowing coals. **

"**Got it," said Hagrid at last, holding up a tiny golden key. **

"And to this day I have no clue how he found that in all his pockets," Harry remarked.

**The goblin looked at it closely. **

"**That seems to be in order." **

"**An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore," said Hagrid importantly, throwing out his chest. "It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen."**

"Bad idea Hagrid," Remus chuckled.

"If you were anything like Lily, would be bursting with curiosity, and if you were anything like James, you would have asked what it was," Sirius continued. James and Lily blushed.

**The goblin read the letter carefully. **

"**Very well," he said, handing it back to Hagrid, "I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!"**

Hermione grimaced.

**Griphook was yet another goblin. Once Hagrid had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Harry followed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall. **

"**What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?" Harry asked. **

"**Can't tell yeh that," said Hagrid mysteriously. "Very secret. Hogwarts business. Dumbledore's trusted me. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that." **

**Griphook held the door open for them. Harry, who had expected more marble, was surprised. They were in a narrow stone passageway lit with flaming torches. It sloped steeply downward and there were little railway tracks on the floor. Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks toward them. They climbed in — Hagrid with some difficulty — and were off. **

**At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages. Harry tried to remember: left, right, right, left, middle fork, right, left, but it was impossible. **

"We've tried," the Twins said forlornly.

**The rattling cart seemed to know its own way, because Griphook wasn't steering. **

**Harry's eyes stung as the cold air rushed past them, but he kept them wide open. Once, he thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and twisted around to see if it was a dragon, but too late **— **they plunged even deeper, passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor. **

"**I never know," Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?"**

Hermione and Lily opened their mouths, probably to explain what the difference was, but Severus waved for George to read.

"**Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it," said Hagrid. "An' don' ask me questions just now, I think I'm gonna be sick." **

**He did look very green, and when the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall, Hagrid got out and had to lean against the wall to stop his knees from trembling. **

**Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, Harry gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.**

Harry and James looked nervously at the Weasleys. The Weasleys were all very poor, so they rarely had any money, so they were embarrassed mentioning how much they had in front of them.

"**All yours," smiled Hagrid. **

**All Harry's — it was incredible. The Dursleys couldn't have known about this or they'd have had it from him faster than blinking.**

**How often had they complained how much Harry cost them to keep? And all the time there had been a small fortune belonging to him, buried deep under London. Hagrid helped Harry pile some of it into a bag. **

"**The gold ones are Galleons," he explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough. Right, that should be enough fer a couple o' terms, we'll keep the rest safe for yeh." He turned to Griphook. "Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please, and can we go more slowly?"**

"One speed only!" Sirius said gleefully.

"**One speed only," said Griphook. **

**They were going even deeper now and gathering speed. The air became colder and colder as they hurtled round tight corners. They went rattling over an underground ravine, and Harry leaned over the side to try to see what was down at the dark bottom,**

Lily gasped.

**but Hagrid groaned and pulled him back by the scruff of his neck.**

Lily sighed with relief.

**Vault seven hundred and thirteen had** **no keyhole. **

**Sirius nodded, impressed. "Rally high security vault, like the Black one."**

"**Stand back," said Griphook importantly. He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it simply melted away. **

"**If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there," said Griphook. **

"**How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?" Harry asked. **

"**About once every ten years," said Griphook with a rather nasty grin.**

They all shivered.

**Something really extraordinary had to be inside this top security vault, Harry was sure, and he leaned forward eagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least **— **but at first he thought it was empty. Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in brown paper lying on the floor. **

**Hagrid picked it up and tucked it deep inside his coat.**

**Harry longed to know what it was, but knew better than to ask. **

"Well, at least you've got some of Lily's common sense," Severus remarked with a smile.

"**Come on, back in this infernal cart, and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut," said Hagrid. **

**One wild cart ride later they stood blinking in the sunlight outside Gringotts. Harry didn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money. He didn't have to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was holding more money than he'd had in his whole life — more money than even Dudley had ever had. **

There were many evil cackles heard downstairs.

"**Might as well get yer uniform," said Hagrid, nodding toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. "Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts." He did still look a bit sick, so Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous. **

**Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve. **

"**Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "Got the lot here — another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."**

"Oooohhhhh! Harry, make a friend!" Lily squealed loudly, Harry met the eyes of everyone from the future before replying. "Definitely not."

**In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes. Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length. **

"**Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?" **

"**Yes," said Harry. **

"**My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy.**

"Why would someone look at wands if the wand chooses the wizard?" Moony wondered to himself.

**He had a bored, drawling voice. **

"**Then I'm going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow." **

**Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley. **

"I wonder who's more insulted."

"**Have **_**you **_**got your own broom?" the boy went on. **

"**No," said Harry. **

"**Play Quidditch at all?" **

"**No," Harry said again, wondering what on earth Quidditch could be.**

"You didn't know what Quidditch was?" James shrieked. Harry grinned.

"I know what it is now. Game with four balls, played on broomsticks, terribly boring, right?" Everyone who knew what harry would become in the future had to physically restrain themselves from laughing at James and Sirius' crestfallen looks.

"_**I **_**do — Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?" **

"**No," said Harry, feeling more stupid by the minute. **

"**Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been — imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" **

"**Mmm," said Harry, wishing he could say something a bit more interesting. **

"Just say hippogriff, it works every time," Sirius told the present-day Harry.

"**I say, look at that man!" said the boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Hagrid was standing there, grinning at Harry and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come in. **

"**That's Hagrid," said Harry, pleased to know something the boy didn't. "He works at Hogwarts." **

"**Oh," said the boy, "I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?"**

"**He's the gamekeeper," said Harry. He was liking the boy less and less every second. **

"We already don't like him, actually, I think no one does, outside of Slytherin."

"**Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of **_**savage **_— **lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed." **

"**I think he's brilliant," said Harry coldly. **

"_**Do **_**you?" said the boy, with a slight sneer. "Why is he with you? Where are your parents?" **

"**They're dead," said Harry shortly. He didn't feel much like going into the matter with this boy. **

"**Oh, sorry," said the other, not sounding sorry at all. **

"**But they were **_**our **_**kind, weren't they?" **

"And just what the hell do you mean by that?"

"**They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean." **

"**I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you?**

"Yeah, they should, you're just pissed that Hermione beat you in everything!" Ron said fiercely. There were many cries of "Hear, hear," heard.

**ear, hear," heard.**

**They're just not the same; they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?" **

**But before Harry could answer, Madam Malkin said, "That's you done, my dear," and Harry,** **not sorry for an excuse to stop talking to the boy, hopped down from the footstool. **

"**Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, I suppose," said the drawling boy. **

**Harry was rather quiet as he ate the ice cream Hagrid had bought him (chocolate and raspberry with chopped nuts). **

"Mmmmmm," Said the Remuses, both licking their lips.

"**What's up?" said Hagrid. **

"**Nothing," Harry lied. **

**They stopped to buy parchment and quills. Harry cheered up a bit when he found a bottle of ink that changed color as you wrote. When they had left the shop, he said, "Hagrid, what's Quidditch?" **

"**Blimey, Harry, I keep forgettin' how little yeh know — not knowin' about Quidditch!" **

"!"

"**Don't make me feel worse," said Harry. He told Hagrid about the pale boy in Madam Malkin's. **

"— **and he said people from Muggle families shouldn't even be allowed in —" **

"**Yer not **_**from **_**a Muggle family. If he'd known who yeh **_**were **_— **he's grown up knowin' yer name if his parents are wizardin' folk. You saw what everyone in the Leaky Cauldron was like when they saw yeh. Anyway, what does he know about it, some o' the best I ever saw were the only ones with magic in 'em in a long line o' Muggles — look at yer mum! Look what she had fer a sister!" **

"Well, not anymore, right?" Lily said to Petunia, who nodded.

"**So what **_**is **_**Quidditch?" **

"**It's our sport. Wizard sport. It's like — like soccer in the Muggle world — everyone follows Quidditch — played up in the air on broomsticks and there's four balls — sorta hard ter explain the rules." **

"**And what are Slytherin and Hufflepuff?" **

"**School houses. There's four. Everyone says Hufflepuff are a lot o' duffers, but —" **

"**I bet I'm in Hufflepuff," said Harry gloomily. **

"**Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin," said Hagrid darkly. **

"Exactly, Slytherin's even less popular then it was back in your time," Harry said to Severus.

**"There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. You-Know-Who was one."**

"**Vol-, sorry —You-Know-Who was at Hogwarts?" **

Ron and Hermione pretended to faint from shock.

"**Years an' years ago," said Hagrid.**

**They bought Harry's school books in a shop called Flourish and Blotts where the shelves were stacked to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size of postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all. Even Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his hands on some of these. Hagrid almost had to drag Harry away from **_**Curses and Countercurses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More)**_ **by Professor Vindictus Viridian. **

"**I was trying to find out how to curse Dudley." **

"**I'm not sayin' that's not a good idea, **

"Son, as my second lesson from father to son, it's always, ALWAYS important to know how to jinx someone."

**but yer not ter use magic in the Muggle world except in very special circumstances," said Hagrid. "An' anyway, yeh couldn' work any of them curses yet, yeh'll need a lot more study before yeh get ter that level." **

**Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either ("It says pewter on yer list"),** **but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope. Then they visited the Apothecary, which was fascinating enough to make up for its horrible smell, a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages. Barrels of slimy stuff stood on the floor; jars of herbs, dried roots, and bright powders lined the walls; bundles of feathers, strings of fangs, and snarled claws hung from the ceiling. While Hagrid asked the man behind the counter for a supply of some basic potion ingredients for Harry, Harry himself examined silver unicorn horns at twenty-one Galleons each** **and minuscule, glittery-black beetle eyes (five Knuts a scoop). **

**Outside the Apothecary, Hagrid checked Harry's list again. **

"**Just yer wand left — A yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present." **

"My first ever actual birthday present," Harry said wistfully.

**Harry felt himself go red. **

"**You don't have to —" **

"**I know I don't have to. Tell yeh what, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at** — **an' I don' like cats,** **they make me sneeze. I'll get yer an owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an' everythin'." **

**Twenty minutes later, they left Eeylops Owl Emporium, which had been dark and full of rustling and flickering, jewel-bright eyes. Harry now carried a large cage that held a beautiful snowy owl, fast asleep with her head under her wing. **

"Awwwwwwww!" all the women cooed.

**He couldn't stop stammering his thanks, sounding just like Professor Quirrell. **

"**Don' mention it," said Hagrid gruffly. "Don' expect you've had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. Just Ollivanders left now — only place fer wands, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have the best wand." **

**A magic wand… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. **

"I think that's what all the muggleborns look forward to," Severus remarked.

**The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.**

**A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window. **

**A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place, empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid sat on to wait. Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. **

**The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic. **

"**Good afternoon," said a soft voice. Harry jumped. Hagrid must have jumped, too, because there was a loud crunching noise and he got quickly off the spindly chair. **

**An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop. **

"**Hello," said Harry awkwardly. **

"Ollivander's a great wandmaker and all, but he still gives me the creeps," Fred said with a shudder.

"**Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work." **

"Yeah, Lily was at the top of her class in every single year," Severus told Harry, while Lily blushed modestly.

**Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy. **

"Told you."

"**Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. **

"Your father always beat me in transfiguration," Lily told Harry in an undertone. She caught James looking at her and looked away quickly.

**Well, I say your father favored it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."**

**Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes. **

"**And that's where…" **

**Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger. **

"**I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it," he said softly. "Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands… well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do…" **

**He shook his head and then, to Harry's relief, spotted Hagrid. **

"**Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! How nice to see you again… Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?" **

"**It was, sir, yes," said Hagrid. **

"**Good wand, that one. But I suppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled?" said Mr. Ollivander, suddenly stern. **

"**Er — yes, they did, yes," said Hagrid, shuffling his feet. "I've still got the pieces, though," he added brightly. **

"**But you don't **_**use **_**them?" said Mr. Ollivander sharply. **

"**Oh, no, sir," said Hagrid quickly. Harry noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke. **

"Noooo, he doesn't use them at all, don't you worry, Olly," George said with his twin.

"**Hmmm," said Mr. Ollivander, giving Hagrid a piercing look. "Well, now — Mr. Potter. Let me see." He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. "Which is your wand arm?" **

"**Er — well, I'm right-handed," said Harry. **

"**Hold out your arm. That's it." He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head.**

**As he measured, he said, "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand." **

(**In Hell**)

Peter Pettegrew suddenly sneezed.

**Harry suddenly realized that the tape measure, which was measuring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own. Mr. Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes. **

"**That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor. "Right then, Mr. Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. Just take it and give it a wave." **

**Harry took the wand and (feeling foolish) waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once. **

"**Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try —" **

**Harry tried — but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander. **

"**No, no — here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out."**

**Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Mr. Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr. Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become. **

"He's not just creepy, he's crazy too!"

"**Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere — I wonder, now — yes, why not — unusual combination — holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple." **

**Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. **

**He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls. **

**Hagrid whooped and clapped and Mr. Ollivander cried, "Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…" **

"Creepy."

**He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, "Curious… curious…" **

"**Sorry," said Harry, "but what's curious?" **

**Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare. **

"**I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar."**

**Harry swallowed. **

"**Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember… I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter… After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great." **

"Really creepy, with juuuust a touch of crazy."

**Harry shivered. He wasn't sure he liked Mr. Ollivander too much. He paid seven gold Galleons for his wand, and Mr. Ollivander bowed them from his shop. **

**The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky as Harry and Hagrid made their way back down Diagon Alley, back through the wall, back through the Leaky Cauldron, now empty. Harry didn't speak at all as they walked down the road; he didn't even notice how much people were gawking at them on the Underground, laden as they were with all their funny-shaped packages, with the snowy owl asleep in its cage on Harry's lap. Up another escalator, out into Paddington station; Harry only realized where they were when Hagrid tapped him on the shoulder. **

"**Got time fer a bite to eat before yer train leaves," he said. **

**He bought Harry a hamburger and they sat down on plastic seats to eat them. Harry kept looking around. Everything looked so strange, somehow. **

"Everything is strange. Or crazy. After all, everyone's a little bit crazy, some are just crazier than others. So crazy and weird is good, strange is bad. So everything is bad."

"James... where the bloody hell did you get all that?"

"**You all right, Harry? Yer very quiet," said Hagrid. **

**Harry wasn't sure he could explain. He'd just had the best birthday of his life — and yet — he chewed his hamburger, trying to find the words.**

"**Everyone thinks I'm special," he said at last. **"**All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr. Ollivander… but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol-, sorry — I mean, the night my parents died." **

James and Lily became forlorn.

**Hagrid leaned across the table. Behind the wild beard and eyebrows he wore a very kind smile. **

"**Don' you worry, Harry. You'll learn fast enough. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogwarts, you'll be just fine. Just be yerself. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's always hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogwarts — I did — still do, 'smatter of fact."**

"It's a fact of life that, no matter who or what you are, you will always have a good time at Hogwarts," Sirius said sagely.

**Hagrid helped Harry on to the train that would take him back to the Dursleys, then handed him an envelope. **

"**Yer ticket fer Hogwarts, " he said. "First o' September — King's Cross — it's all on yer ticket. Any problems with the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl, she'll know where to find me…. See yeh soon, Harry." **

"Crap… He didn't tell you how to get one the platform, did he?" Petunia asked Harry. "Hagrid's not known for his memory," was the reply.

**The train pulled out of the station. Harry wanted to watch Hagrid until he was out of sight; he rose in his seat and pressed his nose against the window, but he blinked and Hagrid had gone.**

"**That's the end of the chapter," George said. "Who wants to read now?" **

"I will," said Petunia as she took the book from him. "**Chapter Six**," she read, "**The Journey From Platform Nine And Three-Quarters**."

"In other words, the mouthful chapter," Ron added.


	7. Chapter 7

"I will," said Petunia as she took the book from him. "**Chapter Six**," she read, "**The Journey From Platform Nine And Three-Quarters**."

"In other words, the mouthful chapter," Ron added.

**Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun. **

"Isn't it always not fun?" Hermione wondered out loud.

"Less fun than usual," Harry clarified.

**True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry that he wouldn't stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything, or shout at him – in fact, they didn't speak to him at all.**

Lily glared at her sister. "You do know," she said , her voice dripping with anger, "that slavery is against the law, and abuse, especially child abuse." Petunia squirmed.

**Half terrified, half furious, they acted as if any chair with Harry in it were empty. Although this was an improvement in many ways, it did become a bit depressing after a while.**

"I can relate," Sirius told Harry. "My parents did that to me a lot during the last couple of years."

**Harry kept to his room, with his new owl for company. He had decided to call her Hedwig, a name he had found in **_**A History of Magic**_**.**

The Siriuses, James, Ron, Fred, and George all pretended to faint from shock, while Lily, Hermione, and the Remuses all looked him with pride. The rest just looked kind of neutral.

**His school books were very interesting.**

More fainting.

**He lay on his bed reading late into the night,**

"Seriously guys, that's really getting old."

"They're not Sirius, I am!"

Harry groaned, while Sirius flashed a peace sign at James.

**Hedwig swooping in and out of the open window as she pleased. It was lucky that Aunt Petunia didn't come in to vacuum anymore, because Hedwig kept bringing back dead mice.**

"Gross!" the women shrieked. Harry grinned. "The author's cat does that too." He got many confused stares. (**Yes! I broke the fourth wall!**)

**Every night before he went to sleep, Harry ticked off another day on the piece of paper he had pinned to the wall, counting down to September the first.**

"Something most people do,"

**On the last day of August he thought he'd better speak to his aunt and uncle about getting to King's Cross station the next day, so he went down to the living room where they were watching a quiz show on television. He cleared his throat to let them know he was there, and Dudley screamed and ran from the room.**

"Yes!" Padfoot clenched his fist.

"**Er – Uncle Vernon?"**

"Er's not a word," Lily chided Harry, who blushed at being chided by his own mother when she was two years younger than him. Wait no, that's confused. Anyway…

**Uncle Vernon grunted to show he was listening.**

"**Er- I need to be at King's Cross tomorrow to – to go to Hogwarts."**

**Uncle Vernon grunted again.**

"Such a vulgar man!" Pentunia sniffed, as if she had smelt something along the lines of rotten eggs.

"**Would it be all right if you gave me a lift?" grunt. Harry supposed that meant yes.**

"**Thank you."**

**He was about to go upstairs again when uncle Vernon actually spoke.**

"Oh…My…God! He spoke! HE SPOKE!!"James was cut off with a chop to the neck, and he fell onto his face, unable to move.

"**Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all get punctures, have they?"**

"You can't puncture a magic carpet, idiot." James' muffled voice floated up from the floor.

**Harry didn't say anything. **

"**Where is this school, anyway?"**

"Somewhere in Scotland," Fred shrugged. "They keep the location secret," his twin added.

"**I don't know," said Harry, realizing this for the first time. He pulled the ticket Hagrid had given him out of his pocket.**

"**I just take the train from platform nine and three-quarters at eleven o' clock," he read.**

**His aunt and uncle stared. **

"**Platform what?"**

"**Nine and three-quarters."**

"**Don't talk rubbish," said Uncle Vernon. "There is no platform nine and three-quarters."**

"I doubt the thought even crossed their minds that it might be hidden," snorted Severus. He rolled his eyes. "I doubt it crossed your mind, too," he added to Harry.

"**It's on my ticket."**

"**Barking,**

"Hey!" the Siriuses shouted.

**said Uncle Vernon, "howling**

"Hey!" the Remuses shouted back.

**mad the lot of them. You'll see. You just wait. All right, we'll take you to King's Cross.**

"He's ACTUALLY being nice to Harry! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!" the Twins screamed.

**We're going up to London tomorrow anyway, or I wouldn't even bother."**

"**Why are you going to London?" Harry asked, trying to keep things friendly.**

"**Taking Dudley to the hospital," growled Uncle Vernon. "Got to have that ruddy tail removed before he goes to Smeltings."**

Everyone laughed. "Oh yeah," Ron said, wiping a tear from his eye, "forgot about that."

**Harry woke at five o' clock the next morning and was too excited and nervous to go back to sleep. He got up and pulled on his jeans because he didn't want to walk into his wizard's robes – he'd change on the train.**

"Common sense, people!" Severus fake-announced. "It'd kind of, you know, give us all away…" he trailed off as everyone else gave him weird looks.

**He checked his Hogwarts list yet again to make sure he had everything he needed, saw that Hedwig was safely shut in her cage, and then paced the room, waiting for the Dursleys to get up. Two hours later, Harry's huge, heavy trunk had been loaded into the Dursleys' car, Aunt Petunia had talked Dudley into sitting next to Harry, and had set off.**

"Well, at least you didn't tie him to the roof," Lily grudgingly said to her sister. "Besides, shouldn't it have been the other way around? You convincing Harry to sit next to Dudley?"

**The reached King's Cross at half past ten. Uncle Vernon dumped Harry's trunk onto a cart and wheeled it into the station for him. Harry thought that was strangely kind until Uncle Vernon stopped dead, facing the platforms with a nasty grin on his face.**

"That can't be good," James muttered to himself, miraculously having recovered; the blow to his neck should have kept him down for at least half an hour.

"**Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine – platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet, do they?"**

"Alright, that's just plain mean, and to a person that didn't even do anything to you up until the letter came."

**He was quite right, of course. There was a big plastic number nine over one platform and a big plastic number ten over the one next to it, and in the middle, nothing at all.**

"**Have a good term," said Uncle Vernon with an even nastier smile. **

"Very, very, mean."

**He left without another word. Harry turned and saw the Dursleys driving away. All three of them were laughing.**

"No offense, Petunia," Lily told her, "but your family could have been Death Eaters if they were purebloods."

**Harry's mouth went rather dry. What on earth was he going to do? He was starting to attract a lot of funny looks, because of Hedwig. He'd have to ask someone.**

**He stopped a passing guard, but didn't dare mention platform nine and three-quarters.**

"That was smart," Severus told Harry. "A lot smarter than what James would have done." James got an angry look on his face.

**The guard had never heard of Hogwarts and when Harry couldn't even tell him in what part of the country it was in, he started to get annoyed, as though Harry was being stupid on purpose.**

"Okay, I take it all back. That's exactly what James would have done."

**Getting desperate, Harry asked for the train that left at eleven o' clock, but the guard said there wasn't one. In the end the guard strode away, muttering about time wasters. Harry was now trying hard not to panic.**

"Don't panic, mate. You got on the train anyway, didn't you?" Ron asked him.

**According to the large clock over the arrivals board, he had ten minutes left to get on the train to Hogwarts and he had no idea how to do it; he was stranded in the middle of a station with a trunk he could hardly lift, a pocket full of wizard money, and a large owl.**

"Okay, without us, Harry wouldn't have gotten to Hogwarts," one of the Twins casually mentioned to the other one. Harry grimaced.

**Hagrid must have forgotten to tell him something he had to do,**

"He did."

**like tapping the third brick on the left to get into Diagon Alley. He wondered if he should get out his wand and start tapping the ticket inspector's stand between platforms nine and ten.**

"No, man, don't do it. Have you ever heard of trying to keep this kind of thing under wraps?" James asked Harry, who blushed.

**At that moment a group of people passed just behind him and he caught a few words of what they were saying. **

" – **packed with Muggles, of course - " **

"That's us!" the Weasleys all cheered.

**Harry swung round. The speaker was a plump woman who was talking to four boys, all with flaming red hair. Each of them was pushing a trunk like Harry's in front of them – and they had an **_**owl**_**.**

**Heart hammering, Harry pushed his trunk after them. They stopped and so did he, just near enough to hear what they were saying. **

"**Now what's the platform number?" said the boys' mother.**

"**Nine and three-quarters!" piped a small girl, also red-headed, who was holding her hand, "Mom, can't I go…"**

"**You're not old enough Ginny, now be quiet. All right, Percy, you go first."**

**What looked like the oldest boy marched towards platforms nine and ten. ****Harry watched, careful not to blink in case he missed it — but just as the boy reached the dividing barrier between the two platforms, a large crowd of tourists came swarming in front of him and by the time the last backpack had cleared away, the boy had vanished. **

"**Fred, you next," the plump woman said. **

"**I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you **_**tell **_**I'm George?"**

"**Sorry, George, dear." **

"**Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy, and off he went.**

"Yes! Finally! Someone who does that!" Sirius cheered. He and James got up and started dancing while the others laughed at their absurdity.

**His twin called after him to hurry up, and he must have done so, because a second later, he had gone — but how had he done it? Now the third brother was walking briskly toward the barrier he was almost there — and then, quite suddenly, he wasn't anywhere. **

"It must look confusing to anyone who isn't raised by wizards," Remus observed.

**There was nothing else for it. **

"**Excuse me," Harry said to the plump woman. **

"**Hello, dear," she said. "First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too."**

"That's our Mum, kind to everyone she meets," Ginny remarked. She and Harry shared a smile.

**She pointed at the last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin, and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose. **

"Lovely description," Ron remarked, as if commenting on the weather

"**Yes," said Harry. "The thing is — the thing is, I don't know how to —" **

"**How to get onto the platform?" she said kindly, and Harry nodded. **

"**Not to worry," she said. "All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron." **

"**Er — okay," said Harry. **

**He pushed his trolley around and stared at the barrier. It looked very solid.**

**He started to walk toward it. People jostled him on their way to platforms nine and ten. Harry walked more quickly. He was going to smash right into that barrier and then he'd be in trouble — leaning forward on his cart, he broke into a heavy run — the barrier was coming nearer and nearer — he wouldn't be able to stop — the cart was out of control — he was a foot away — he closed his eyes ready for the crash —**

"Pessimist." Hermione muttered in a stage whisper.

**It didn't come… he kept on running… he opened his eyes. A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said **_**Hogwarts' Express, eleven o'clock**_**. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words **_**Platform Nine and Three-Quarters **_**on it, He had done it. **

There were many cheers, but also many tears, as James and Lily held hands and cried. They had missed Harry's first trip to Diagon Alley, his first time on the platform, hell, they had missed most of his life when they had died.

**Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks. The first few carriages were already packed with students, some hanging out of the window to talk to their families, some fighting over seats. Harry pushed his cart off down the platform in search of an empty seat. He passed a round-faced boy who was saying, "Gran, I've lost my toad again." **

"A Longbottom?" Remus asked Harry. He nodded

"**Oh, **_**Neville**_**," he heard the old woman sigh. **

**A boy with dreadlocks was surrounded by a small crowd. **

"Lee!" Fred and George cried, thumping each other on the back.

"**Give us a look, Lee, go on." The boy lifted the lid of a box in his arms, and the people around him shrieked and yelled as something inside poked out a long, hairy leg. **

Ron shivered. Harry and Hermione noticed, and smirked at each other.

**Harry pressed on through the crowd until he found an empty compartment near the end of the train. He put Hedwig inside first and then started to shove and heave his trunk toward the train door. He tried to lift it up the steps but could hardly raise one end and twice he dropped it painfully on his foot. **

"**Want a hand?" It was one of the red-haired twins he'd followed through the barrier. **

"Sweet!" Ginny cooed at the Twins, who grimaced.

"**Yes, please," Harry panted. **

"**Oy, Fred! C'mere and help!" **

**With the twins' help, Harry's trunk was at last tucked away in a corner of the compartment. **

"**Thanks," said Harry, pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes. **

"**What's that?" said one of the twins suddenly, pointing at Harry's lightning scar. **

"**Blimey," said the other twin. "Are you —?" **

"**He is," said the first twin. "Aren't you?" he added to Harry. **

"**What?" said Harry. **

"_**Harry Potter**_**." chorused the twins. **

"**Oh, him," said Harry. **

There was much laughter.

"**I mean, yes, I am." **

**The two boys gawked at him, and Harry felt himself turning red. **

"We just love to make people do that."

**Then, to his relief, a voice came floating in through the train's open door. **

"**Fred? George? Are you there?"**

"**Coming, Mom." **

**With a last look at Harry, the twins hopped off the train. **

**Harry sat down next to the window where, half hidden, he could watch the red-haired family on the platform and hear what they were saying. **

"Oh no!" Lily hid her face in her hands. "Another Marauder!"

**Their mother had just taken out her handkerchief. **

"**Ron, you've got something on your nose." **

There was more laughter.

**The youngest boy tried to jerk out of the way, but she grabbed him and began rubbing the end of his nose. **

"_**Mom**_— **geroff" He wriggled free. **

"**Aaah, has ickle Ronnie got somefink on his nosie?" said one of the twins. **

"Gits."

"**Shut up," said Ron. **

"**Where's Percy?" said their mother. **

"**He's coming now." **

**The oldest boy came striding into sight. He had already changed into his billowing black Hogwarts robes, and Harry noticed a red and gold badge on his chest with the letter **_**P **_**on it.**

"Prefect Percy, our H.B.!" the Twins yelled to yet more laughter.

"**Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front; the prefects have got two compartments to themselves —" **

"**Oh, are you a **_**prefect**_**, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea." **

"**Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once —" **

"**Or twice —" **

"**A minute —" **

"**All summer —" **

"Okay…I've got a stitch," Harry gasped.

"**Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect. **

"**How come Percy gets new robes, anyway?" said one of the twins. **

"**Because he's a **_**prefect**_**,"**

"Don't listen to her," Fred stage whispered to George. "He's still a Humongous Bighead."

**said their mother fondly. "All right, dear, well, have a good term — send me an owl when you get there." **

**She kissed Percy on the cheek and he left. Then she turned to the twins. **

"**Now, you two — this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've — you've blown up a toilet or —"**

"Bad move Mum," Ginny sighed, shaking her head.

"**Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet." **

"**Great idea though, thanks, Mom." **

"Knew it."

"**It's **_**not funny**_**. And look after Ron." **

"**Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us." **

"**Shut up," said Ron again. He was almost as tall as the twins already and his nose was still pink where his mother had rubbed it. **

"**Hey, Mom, guess what? Guess who we just met on the train?" **

"Here it comes," Hermione sighed, while Ginny blushed at the memory of what was to come.

**Harry leaned back quickly so they couldn't see him looking. **

"**You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station? Know who he is?" **

"**Who?" **

"_**Harry Potter**_**!" **

"3…2…1…"

**Harry heard the little girl's voice. **

"**Oh, Mom, can I go on the train and see him, Mom, oh please…"**

"She really used to be a fan of Harry," Ron explained to the people who didn't know, while Ginny blushed harder.

"**You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. Is he really, Fred? How do you know?" **

"**Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there — like lightning." **

"Not just lightning, _greased _lightning," said James in mock awe. Harry threw the nearest blunt object at him.

"**Poor **_**dear **_— **no wonder he was alone, I wondered. He was ever so polite when he asked how to get onto the platform." **

"**Never mind that, do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?" **

**Their mother suddenly became very stern. **

"**I forbid you to ask him, Fred. No, don't you dare. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school." **

"**All right, keep your hair on." **

There were many widened eyes at the fact that Fred had said that to Mrs. Weasley and lived to tell of it.

**A whistle sounded. **

"**Hurry up!" their mother said, and the three boys clambered onto the train. They leaned out of the window for her to kiss them good-bye, and their younger sister began to cry. **

Hermione and Ron looked stunned. Ginny knew how to cry? Ginny was one of the strongest people they knew; he crying was pretty much unimagineable.

"**Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls." **

"**We'll send you a Hogwarts' toilet seat." **

Much snickering was heard.

"_**George!**_"

"**Only joking, Mom." **

**The train began to move. Harry saw the boys' mother waving and their sister, half laughing, half crying, running to keep up with the train until it gathered too much speed, then she fell back and waved. **

"I…I ain't cryin'," James said while sobbing.

**Harry watched the girl and her mother disappear as the train rounded the corner. Houses flashed past the window. Harry felt a great leap of excitement. He didn't know what he was going to — but it had to be better than what he was leaving behind. **

If swearwords could kill, the Dursleys in the future (past?) would be on their 231st lives by then.

**The door of the compartment slid open and the youngest redheaded boy came in. **

"**Anyone sitting there?" he asked, pointing at the seat opposite Harry. "Everywhere else is full."**

"Alright Ron, give it to me straight. Was everywhere else_ really_ full?" Harry asked with a completely straight face.

**Harry shook his head and the boy sat down. He glanced at Harry and then looked quickly out of the window, pretending he hadn't looked. Harry saw he still had a black mark on his nose.**

The Twins and Harry smirked when they saw Ron's face redden.

"**Hey, Ron." **

**The twins were back. **

"**Listen, we're going down the middle of the train — Lee Jordan's got a giant tarantula down there." **

Ron shivered.

"**Right," mumbled Ron. **

"**Harry," said the other twin, "did we introduce ourselves? Fred and George Weasley. And this is Ron, our brother. See you later, then." **

"**Bye," said Harry and Ron. The twins slid the compartment door shut behind them. **

"**Are you really Harry Potter?" Ron blurted out. **

"Nooooo, he's like Padfoot said before, a mentally challenged hippogriff that has been taught how to swim. Are you stupid or something?" asked Fred with an eye roll.

**Harry nodded. **

"**Oh — well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes," said Ron.**

"Yeah it was, haven't you been paying attention?" George asked.

**"And have you really got — you know…" **

**He pointed at Harry's forehead. **

"Ron will never be tactful," Hermione sighed.

**Harry pulled back his bangs to show the lightning scar. Ron stared. **

"**So that's where You-Know-Who —?"**

"**Yes," said Harry, "but I can't remember it." **

"**Nothing?" said Ron eagerly. **

"And before anyone says anything, she said it to Fred and George, not me."

"**Well — I remember a lot of green light, but nothing else." **

"**Wow," said Ron. He sat and stared at Harry for a few moments, then, as though he had suddenly realized what he was doing, he looked quickly out of the window again. **

Loud snickers were heard.

"**Are all your family wizards?" asked Harry, who found Ron just as interesting as Ron found him. **

"**Er — Yes, I think so," said Ron. "I think Mom's got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him."**

"Ah, dearest Uncle Eddie. What a git." Ron rolled his eyes.

"**So you must know loads of magic already." **

"Nope, just the oldest families," Remus explained.

**The Weasleys were clearly one of those old wizarding families the pale boy in Diagon Alley had talked about. **

"Not really. Old? Yes. Rich? No," Ginny remarked.

"**I heard you went to live with Muggles," said Ron. "What are they like?" **

"Evil," said Ginny.

"Slave drivers," added James.

"Who must," included Sirius.

"Go to hell," Ron finished with an evil smirk. The others added some of their own comments. Harry smiled; he was glad so many people were sticking up for him.

"**Horrible — well, not all of them. My aunt and uncle and cousin are, though. Wish I'd had three wizard brothers." **

"**Five," said Ron. For some reason, he was looking gloomy. **

"**I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I've got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left — Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. **

"Prefect Percy!"

**Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. **

The Twins smirked at the others' doubting looks.

**Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. **

"Why Ron, we never knew you had an inferiority complex!" Fred smiled his wicked smile. "We must take full advantage of this documentary!" his twin added. "By the way, Ron, give us your ass," they said together. Ron opened his mouth in horror and scooted over next to Hermione, on the other side of the room from the Twins, who were both grinning crazily.

**You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat. **

At the mention of Scabbers, Ron began muttering ways to kill rats, while Moony and Padfoot simply looked murderous.

**His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a prefect, but they couldn't aff — I mean, I got Scabbers instead." **

**Ron's ears went pink. **

**He seemed to think he'd said too much, because he went back to staring out of the window. **

**Harry didn't think there was anything wrong with not being able to afford an owl. After all, he'd never had any money in his life until a month ago, and he told Ron so, all about having to wear Dudley's old clothes and never getting proper birthday presents. This seemed to cheer Ron up. **

"Git," Hermione said good-naturedly to Ron, who blushed anyway.

"… **and until Hagrid told me, I didn't know anything about being a wizard or about my parents or Voldemort —" **

**Ron gasped.**

"**What?" said Harry. **

"_**You said You-Know-Who's name!**_" **said Ron, sounding both shocked and impressed. "I'd have thought you, of all people —"**

"There's nothing wrong with his name, honest! At least, until that incident…" Harry trailed off muttering stuff about killing Dark wizards.

"**I'm not trying to be **_**brave **_**or anything, saying the name," said Harry, "I just never knew you shouldn't. See what I mean? I've got loads to learn… I bet," he added, voicing for the first time something that had been worrying him a lot lately, "I bet I'm the worst in the class." **

"**You won't be. There's loads of people who come from Muggle families and they learn quick enough." **

Everyone smiled at Lily and Hermione, the brightest witches of their respective times.

**While they had been talking, the train had carried them out of London. Now they were speeding past fields full of cows and sheep. They were quiet for a time, watching the fields and lanes flick past. **

**Around half past twelve there was a great clattering outside in the corridor and a smiling, dimpled woman slid back their door and said, "Anything off the cart, dears?" **

**Harry, who hadn't had any breakfast, leapt to his feet, but Ron's ears went pink again and he muttered that he'd brought sandwiches. Harry went out into the corridor. **

**He had never had any money for candy with the Dursleys, and now that he had pockets rattling with gold and silver he was ready to buy as many Mars Bars as he could carry **— **but the woman didn't have Mars Bars. **

"What're Mars Bars?" Remus asked, eyes alight with wonder.

"A Muggle chocolate, but not as good as yours," Petunia answered. Both Remuses began salivating at the thought of chocolate.

**What she did have were Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs. Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Licorice Wands, and a number of other strange things Harry had never seen in his life. Not wanting to miss anything, he got some of everything and paid the woman eleven silver Sickles and seven bronze Knuts. **

"That was pretty cheap," Severus remarked.

**Ron stared as Harry brought it all back in to the compartment and tipped it onto an empty seat. **

**"Hungry, are you?" **

"No. That's you," Hermione retorted.

**"Starving," said Harry, taking a large bite out of a pumpkin pasty. **

**Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. There were four sandwiches inside. He pulled one of them apart and said, "She always forgets I don't like corned beef…"**

"**Swap you for one of these," said Harry, holding up a pasty. "Go on —" **

The women all began cooing at the two of them. They blushed.

"**You don't want this, it's all dry," said Ron. "She hasn't got much time," he added quickly, "you know, with five of us." **

"**Go on, have a pasty," said Harry, who had never had anything to share before or, indeed, anyone to share it with. It was a nice feeling, sitting there with Ron, eating their way through all Harry's pasties, cakes, and candies (the sandwiches lay forgotten). **

"**What are these?" Harry asked Ron, holding up a pack of Chocolate Frogs.** "**They're not **_**really **_**frogs, are they?" **

**He was starting to feel that nothing would surprise him.**

"Liar!" Ron screamed, while Harry jumped from the shock of Ron appearing right next to him and yelling.

"**No," said Ron. "But see what the card is. I'm missing Agrippa."**

"I have him," Both Remuses said simultaneously.

"**What?" **

"**Oh, of course, you wouldn't know — Chocolate Frogs have cards, inside them, you know, to collect — famous witches and wizards. I've got about five hundred, but I haven't got Agrippa or Ptolemy." **

"We've got him too." Ron sulked. "Cheer up Ron, it's not your fault we both have a sweet tooth."

**Harry unwrapped his Chocolate Frog and picked up the card. It showed a man's face. He wore half-moon glasses, had a long, crooked nose, and flowing silver hair, beard, and mustache. Underneath the picture was the name Albus Dumbledore. **

"**So **_**this **_**is Dumbledore!" said Harry. **

"**Don't tell me you'd never heard of Dumbledore!" **

"You mean you've never heard of Dumbledore?!?!"

**said Ron. "Can I have a frog? I might get Agrippa — thanks —"**

**Harry turned over his card and read: **

_**ALBUS DUMBLEDORE **_

_**CURRENTLY HEADMASTER OF HOGWARTS **_

_**Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling. **_

"All the time, right there on the back of a chocolate frog card," Harry thought to himself. "Hindsight is a real bitch sometimes."

**Harry turned the card back over and saw, to his astonishment, that Dumbledore's face had disappeared. **

"**He's gone!" **

"**Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day," said Ron. **

"**He'll be back. No, I've got Morgana again and I've got about six of her… do you want it? You can start collecting."**

"Nice, Ron. Offering stuff back he's already given you," Ginny tutted.

**Ron's eyes strayed to the pile of Chocolate Frogs waiting to be unwrapped. "Help yourself," said Harry. "But in, you know, the Muggle world, people just stay put in photos." **

"**Do they? What, they don't move at all?" Ron sounded amazed. "Weird!" **

"To wizards, maybe," said Lily. She shuddered at the memory of her first time seeing a portrait move.

"To Muggles, maybe. But remember, wizards are raised with those kinds of things," Severus explained to her.

**Harry stared as Dumbledore sidled back into the picture on his card and gave him a small smile. Ron was more interested in eating the frogs than looking at the Famous Witches and Wizards cards, but Harry couldn't keep his eyes off them. Soon he had not only Dumbledore and Morgana, but Hengist of Woodcroft, Alberic Grunnion, Circe, Paracelsus, and Merlin. He finally tore his eyes away from the Druidess Cliodna, who was scratching her nose, to open a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.**

"You _really_ sure you want to do that?" George asked as he remembered the time he ate a snot-flavored Bean.

"**You want to be careful with those," Ron warned Harry. "When they say every flavor, they **_**mean **_**every flavor — you know, you get all the ordinary ones like chocolate and peppermint and marmalade, but then you can get spinach and liver and tripe. George reckons he had a booger-flavored one once." **

George nodded when everyone looked at him, and Fred started having a coughing fit to cover up his laughter.

**Ron picked up a green bean, looked at it carefully, and bit into a corner. **

"**Bleaaargh — see? Sprouts." **

**Every Flavor Beans. Harry got toast, coconut, baked bean, strawberry, curry, grass, coffee, sardine, and was even brave enough to nibble the end off a funny gray one Ron wouldn't touch, which turned out to be pepper. **

"Pretty mild for Bertie Bott's," said James. "But I really feel for you, mate," he added to George. He sulked in the corner, while Fred had to work hard to cover his laughter.

**The countryside now flying past the window was becoming wilder. The neat fields had gone. Now there were woods, twisting rivers, and dark green hills. **

**There was a knock on the door of their compartment and the round-faced boy Harry had passed on platform nine and three-quarters came in. He looked tearful. **

"**Sorry," he said, "but have you seen a toad at all?"**

**When they shook their heads, he wailed, "I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!" **

"**He'll turn up," said Harry. **

"**Yes," said the boy miserably. "Well, if you see him…" **

**He left. **

"**Don't know why he's so bothered," said Ron. "If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk." **

"Now I'd prefer Trevor," Ron muttered to Harry.

**The rat was still snoozing on Ron's lap. **

"**He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," said Ron in disgust. "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look…" **

Ron glared at the Twins, his best friend, his fiancée, and his sister as they burst out laughing.

**He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end. **

"**Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway —" **

"Not the safest thing in the world," Harry mentioned, remembering what had happened to Ron's wand in their second year.

**He had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again. The toadless boy was back, but this time he had a girl with him. She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes.**

"**Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth.**

"How flattering," Hermione stated. "You need to work on your descriptions."

"**We've already told him we haven't seen it," said Ron, but the girl wasn't listening, she was looking at the wand in his hand. **

"**Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then."**

"All right, all right, I'm bossy! Just live with it!" Hermione shouted in response to the looks shot at her.

**She sat down. Ron looked taken aback.**

"**Er — all right." **

**He cleared his throat. **

"**Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."**

Ron turned beet red at all the laughter directed at him.

**He waved his wand, but nothing happened. Scabbers stayed gray and fast asleep. **

"**Are you sure that's a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it's not very good, is it? **

"Was I really that bad?" Hermione asked her best friends. "Erm…" was the only noise any of them could make.

**I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard — I've learned all our course books by heart,** **of course, I just hope it will be enough — I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?"**

**She said all this very fast. **

"That's f***ing amazing! You said all that in one breath?!?" Petunia asked her in bewhilderment.

**Harry looked at Ron, and was relieved to see by his stunned face that he hadn't learned all the course books by heart either. **

"**I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered. **

"**Harry Potter," said Harry. **

"**Are you really?" said Hermione. **

"**I know all about you, of course — I got a few extra books, for background reading, and you're in **_**Modern Magical History **_**and **_**The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts **_**and **_**Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century**_**." **

"?!?"

"**Am I?" said Harry, feeling dazed. **

"**Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me," said Hermione. "Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad… Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad. You two had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon."**

"God, I really was awful." Ron and Harry squirmed. The two of them had… disliked Hermione up until the troll incident, and neither of them wanted to be reminded of that.

**And she left, taking the toadless boy with her. **

"**Whatever house I'm in, I hope she's not in it," said Ron. **

"In hindsight, I'm glad that didn't come true," Harry said to Ron. "D'ya think we would have survived until the end of the year without her?"

"Nope." Lily and James frowned at the thought of their son getting himself killed at the tender, tender age of eleven.

**He threw his wand back into his trunk. "Stupid spell — George gave it to me, bet he knew it was a dud." **

Hermione hit Ron. "You need to stop listening to your brothers sometime."

"But he's so easy!" the Twins whined. "Especially in bed," they added, a maniac glint in their eyes. Ron's eyes got wide, and he began to slowly back out of the room to many gales of laughter.

"**What house are your brothers in?" asked Harry. **

"**Gryffindor," said Ron. Gloom seemed to be settling on him again. "Mom and Dad were in it, too. I don't know what they'll say if I'm not. I don't suppose Ravenclaw **_**would **_**be too bad, but imagine if they put me in Slytherin." **

"There's nothing wrong with Slytherin!" Severus exclaimed hotly. "It's the other houses' goddamn prejudice!"

"**That's the house Vol-, I mean, You-Know-Who was in?"**

"**Yeah," said Ron. He flopped back into his seat, looking depressed. **

"**You know, I think the ends of Scabbers' whiskers are a bit lighter," said Harry, trying to take Ron's mind off houses. **

Ron and Harry had to raise their 'coo shields,' Ron having come back in the room after a warning look at his brothers.

"**So what do your oldest brothers do now that they've left, anyway?"**

**Harry was wondering what a wizard did once he'd finished school. **

"**Charlie's in Romania studying dragons,** **and Bill's in Africa doing something for Gringotts," said Ron. **

"**Did you hear about Gringotts? It's been all over the **_**Daily Prophet**_**, but I don't suppose you get that with the Muggles — someone tried to rob a high security vault." **

"What the hell?!?" Everyone from the magical cauldron exclaimed.

**Harry stared. **

"**Really? What happened to them?" **

"**Nothing, that's why it's such big news. They haven't been caught.**

You could hear the sound of jaws hitting the floor from downstairs.

**My dad says it must've been a powerful Dark wizard to get round Gringotts, but they don't think they took anything, that's what's odd. 'Course, everyone gets scared when something like this happens in case You-Know-Who's behind it." **

"Why did you never say Lord Voldemort?" Harry asked his friend. "Didn't it save our lives once?" was the reply.

**Harry turned this news over in his mind. He was starting to get a prickle of fear every time You-Know-Who was mentioned. He supposed this was all part of entering the magical world, but it had been a lot more comfortable saying "Voldemort" without worrying.**

"Call him Voldemort," James ordered his son.

"Nah, I don't think so. I think I'll call him…," Harry paused for dramatic effect, "Tommy-Boy! Can you imagine what he'd do if I said that to his face? Here, Tommy-Boy! Don't kill me Tommy-Boy!" Everyone burst out laughing, and they took a small break so that they could all calm down and wipe their tears away.

"**What's your Quidditch team?" Ron asked. **

"**Er — I don't know any." Harry confessed.**

Every Quidditch nut (James, Sirius, Padfoot, the Twins, Ron, and Ginny for a review) gasped and started mock crying from shock. Harry simply rolled his eyes.

"**What!" Ron looked dumbfounded. "Oh, you wait, it's the best game in the world —" And he was off, explaining all about the four balls and the positions of the seven players, describing famous games he'd been to with his brothers and the broomstick he'd like to get if he had the money. He was just taking Harry through the finer points of the game when the compartment door slid open yet again, but it wasn't Neville the toadless boy, or Hermione Granger this time. **

**Three boys entered, and Harry recognized the middle one at once: it was the pale boy from Madam Malkin's robe shop. **

"Who? Oh wait, nevermind. The slug."

**He was looking at Harry with a lot more interest than he'd shown back in Diagon Alley.**

"Is he gay or something?" James wondered.

"I don't know, Pansy Parkinson's ugly enough to turn any straight man gay," Ginny replied.

"**Is it true?" he said. "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?" **

"**Yes," said Harry. He was looking at the other boys. Both of them were thickset and looked extremely mean. Standing on either side of the pale boy, they looked like bodyguards. **

"**Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," said the pale boy carelessly, noticing where Harry was looking. "And my name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy." **

"A major reason why I always preferred Andromeda," Sirius remarked. "Though Narcissa was my second favorite cousin."

**Ron gave a slight cough, which might have been hiding a snigger. **

"It was."

**Draco Malfoy looked at him. **

"**Think** **my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford." **

"Evil git," could be heard by Kreacher, who was several floors down. The Weasleys present beamed at the support.

**He turned back to Harry. "You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." **

If there hadn't been charms and wards on number twelve, Grimmald Place, "Evil git" could have been heard from outside.

**He held out his hand to shake Harry's, **

"Noooooooo!!" Ron screamed in fake slow motion.

**but Harry didn't take it. **

"**I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks," he said coolly. **

**Draco Malfoy didn't go red, but a pink tinge appeared in his pale cheeks. **

"You mean he isn't always completely white?!"

"**I'd be careful if I were you, Potter," he said slowly. "Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents. **

First there was silence. Then, an outburst of swearing so bad, Draco Malfoy would have died out of sheer fright the instant he heard it.

**They didn't know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riffraff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and it'll rub off on you." **

"Shut up, you evil, loathsome, disgusting ferret!" Ginny screamed at the book. Everyone who knew grinned at the word ferret.

**Both Harry and Ron stood up. **

"**Say that again," Ron said, his face as red as his hair.**

"**Oh, you're going to fight us, are you?" Malfoy sneered. **

"**Unless you get out now," said Harry, more bravely than he felt, because Crabbe and Goyle were a lot bigger than him or Ron. **

"**But we don't feel like leaving, do we, boys? We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some." **

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Sirius cheered.

**Goyle reached toward the Chocolate Frogs next to Ron — Ron leapt forward, but before he'd so much as touched Goyle, Goyle let out a horrible yell. **

"Fi-Huh?"

**Scabbers the rat was hanging off his finger, sharp little teeth sunk deep into Goyle's knuckle** — **Crabbe and Malfoy backed away as Goyle swung Scabbers round and round, howling, and when Scabbers finally flew off and hit the window, all three of them disappeared at once. Perhaps they thought there were more rats lurking among the sweets, or perhaps they'd heard footsteps, because a second later, Hermione Granger had come in. **

Ron sighed. "That was the only thing he did for us," he moaned to Harry.

"**What **_**has **_**been going on?" she said, looking at the sweets all over the floor and Ron picking up Scabbers by his tail. **

"**I think he's been knocked out," Ron said to Harry. He looked closer at Scabbers. "No — I don't believe it — he's gone back to sleep." **

**And so he had. **

"This sounds a lot like Wormtail," Remus mentioned to his best friends. "Although, everyone seems to really hate him."

"**You've met Malfoy before?" **

**Harry explained about their meeting in Diagon Alley. **

"**I've heard of his family," said Ron darkly. "They were some of the first to come back to our side after You-Know-Who disappeared. Said they'd been bewitched. **

"That's a load of crap."

**My dad doesn't believe it. He says Malfoy's father didn't need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side." **

"Third truest thing I've ever heard."

**He turned to Hermione. "Can we help you with something?" **

"God, you were the rudest person I ever knew," Hermione told Ron. George raised an eyebrow. "Were?"

"**You'd better hurry up and put your robes on, I've just been up to the front to ask the conductor, and he says we're nearly there. You haven't been fighting, have you? You'll be in trouble before we even get there!"**

"**Scabbers has been fighting, not us," said Ron, scowling at her. "Would you mind leaving while we change?" **

"Sorry, 'Mione," Ron whispered to her.

"S' okay Ron," she whispered back.

"**All right — I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors," said Hermione in a sniffy voice. **

Fred and George tried to look innocent, but failed because of the wide grins on their faces.

"**And you've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?"**

**Ron glared at her as she left. Harry peered out of the window. It was getting dark. He could see mountains and forests under a deep purple sky. The train did seem to be slowing down.**

**He and Ron took off their jackets and pulled on their long black robes. Ron's were a bit short for him, you could see his sneakers underneath them. **

**A voice echoed through the train: "We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes' time. Please leave your luggage on the train, it will be taken to the school separately." **

**Harry's stomach lurched with nerves and Ron, he saw, looked pale under his freckles. They crammed their pockets with the last of the sweets and joined the crowd thronging the corridor. **

"Did you keep the chocolate?" the Remuses asked. They shrugged.

**The train slowed right down and finally stopped. **

**People pushed their way toward the door and out on to a tiny, dark platform. Harry shivered in the cold night air. Then a lamp came bobbing over the heads of the students, and Harry heard a familiar voice: "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry?" **

**Hagrid's big hairy face beamed over the sea of heads.**

"**C'mon, follow me — any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!" **

**Slipping and stumbling, they followed Hagrid down what seemed to be a steep, narrow path. It was so dark on either side of them that Harry thought there must be thick trees there. Nobody spoke much. Neville, the boy who kept losing his toad, sniffed once or twice. **

"**Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," Hagrid called over his shoulder, "jus' round this bend here." **

**There was a loud "Oooooh!" **

Everyone sighed as they all, except for Petunia, remembered how majestic Hogwarts looked when you first saw it.

**The narrow path had opened suddenly onto the edge of a great black lake. Perched atop a high mountain on the other side, its windows sparkling in the starry sky, was a vast castle with many turrets and towers. **

"**No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid called, pointing to a fleet of little boats sitting in the water by the shore. Harry and Ron were followed into their boat by Neville and Hermione. **

"**Everyone in?" shouted Hagrid, who had a boat to himself. "Right then — FORWARD!" **

"March!"

**And the fleet of little boats moved off all at once, gliding across the lake, which was as smooth as glass. Everyone was silent, staring up at the great castle overhead. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood. **"**Heads down!" yelled Hagrid** **as the first boats reached the cliff; they all bent their heads and the little boats carried them through a curtain of ivy that hid a wide opening in the cliff face. They were carried along a dark tunnel, which seemed to be taking them right underneath the castle, until they reached a kind of underground harbor, where they clambered out onto rocks and pebbles. **

"**Oy, you there! Is this your toad?" said Hagrid, who was checking the boats as people climbed out of them. **

"That toad must have something to do with the plot, why would it be mentioned so many times?" Severus spoke up.

"**Trevor!" cried Neville blissfully, holding out his hands. Then they clambered up a passageway in the rock after Hagrid's lamp, coming out at last onto smooth, damp grass right in the shadow of the castle. They walked up a flight of stone steps and crowded around the huge, oak front door. Everyone here? You there, still got yer toad?" **

"Definitely part of the plot." Ron and Harry snickered, since they knew how much Trevor had to do with the plot; nothing whatsoever.

**Hagrid raised a gigantic fist and knocked three times on the castle door.**

"Epic cliffhanger!" the Twins screamed as loud as they could, which made them all hold their ears in pain.


	8. Chapter 8

**And now I present to you, the reader, the long-awaited chapter, "The Sorting Hat." Enjoy!**

"Alright, who's reading now?" Harry asked after his ears had finished ringing. Ron immediately began jumping up and down in his seat.

"Ohhh! Ohhh! Pick me! Pick me!"

Harry sighed and picked Ron to be the next reader, since no one else was volunteering. "Yes!" Ron cheered as he took the book and began reading.

"**Chapter Seven**," he read. "**The Sorting Hat**." He was cut off as Harry's parents cheered, then, when they had finished, began.

**The door swung open at once. A tall, black-haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern face and Harry's first thought was that this was not someone to cross.**

"Now, these people, on the other hand…" said Lily as she pointed to the Marauders.

"**The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid.**

"**Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."**

"Yep, take us on a wild adventure, filled with trolls, dementors, and Tommy-Boy," said Harry, eyes dancing with glee. "God, I love my life."

**She pulled the door wide. The entrance hall was so wide you could have fit the whole of the Dursleys' house in it.**

"It might fit their house, but could it have fit them?"

**The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts, the ceiling was too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors.**

**They followed Professor McGonagall across the flagged stone floor. Harry could hear the drone of a thousand voices from a doorway to the right - the rest of the school must already be here – but Professor McGonagall showed the first years into a small, empty chamber off the hall. **

"Oh…My…God! McGonagall rapes little kids!" Sirius exclaimed loudly. A coughing noise was heard from the portrait of Phineas Nigellus (sp?) on the drawing room wall.

**They crowded in, standing rather closer than they would usually have done, peering about nervously. **

"Not James," Remus grinned. "He was complaining about a lack of attention the entire time she was talking."

"**Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts.**

"On the other hand, the Weasleys always get real family and house family," Ron grumbled.

**You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.**

"Or another person's houses' common room, if you can get in," Harry grinned.

"**The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards.**

"But for every outstanding witch or wizard, there is always an evil one, a greedy one, or a corrupt one," Hermione said sagely.

**While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose your house points.**

"I don't think some people got that memo, though," Lily muttered, looking at the Marauders and Twins.

**At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you becomes a credit to whichever house becomes yours.**

"Or a pain in the ass, whichever you want."

"**The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you smarten yourselves up as much as you can while waiting."**

**Her eyes lingered on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose. Harry nervously tried to flatten his hair.**

"Gee, Harry, I thought you would have learned by now, that never works," James laughed.

"**I shall return when we are ready for you," **

"No one is ready enough for them," Ginny said while gesturing at the Marauders and her twin brothers, all of whom grinned proudly.

**said Professor McGonagall. "Please wait quietly."**

"What's quiet mean?" Sirius asked sweetly.

**She left the chamber. Harry swallowed.**

"**How exactly do they sort us into houses?" he asked Ron.**

"**Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."**

"…And you believed him, why?" Ginny asked her brother, who shrugged, saying nothing.

**Harry's heart gave a horrible jolt. A test? In front of the whole school?**

"I think James would have been delighted that the entire school was giving all its attention to him," Lily told him. "That's what I would have done, not him."

**But he didn't know any magic yet – what on earth would he have to do? He hadn't expected something like this the moment they arrived. He looked around anxiously and saw that everyone else looked terrified, too. No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need.**

"All right, I admit it! I was a know-it-all, happy now?" Hermione snapped and her best friends, both of whom had wide smiles on their faces.

**Harry tried hard not to listen to her. He'd never been more nervous, never, not even when he'd had to take a school report home to the Dursleys saying that he'd somehow turned his teacher's wig blue.**

James and the Siriuses snickered at him loudly.

**He kept his eyes on the door. Any second now, Professor McGonagall would come out and lead him to his doom.**

"Dramatic, much?"

**Then something happened that made him jump about a foot in the air – several people behind him screamed.**

"**What the -"**

**He gasped. So did the people around him. About twenty ghosts had just streamed through the back wall. Pearly-white and slightly transparent, they glided across the room talking to one another and hardly glancing at the** **first years.**

"Any guesses as to what they're talking about?"

**They seemed to be arguing. What looked like a fat little monk was saying: "Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -"**

"**My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not even a ghost – I say, what are you all doing here?"**

**A ghost wearing a ruff and tights had suddenly noticed the first years.**

"Took them long enough."

**Nobody answered.**

"**New students!" said the Fat Friar, smiling around at them. "About to be sortedd, I suppose?"**

"No, they're about to go on a magical adventure, filled with dragons, giants, the Dark Mark, Lucius Malfoy, a hippogriff, a basilisk, and a magical stone."

The Golden Trio stared at him. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing…"

**A few people nodded mutely.**

"**Hope to see you in Hufflepuff!" said the Friar. "My old house, you know."**

"No, we don't."

"**Move along now," said a sharp voice. "The Sorting Ceremony is about to start."**

**Professor McGonagall had returned. One by one, the ghosts floated away through the opposite wall.**

"**Now, form a line," Professor McGonagall told the first years, "and follow me."**

**Feeling oddly as though his legs had turned to lead, **

"That must be a funny feeling," Severus remarked with a raised eyebrow.

**Harry got in line behind a boy with sandy hair, with Ron behind him, and they walked out of the chamber, back across the hall, and through a pair of doors into the Great Hall. Harry had never even imagined such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laden with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Professor McGonagall led the first years up here, so that they came to a halt in a line facing the other students, with the teachers behind them. The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver. Mainly to avoid all the staring eyes, Harry looked upward and saw a velvety black ceiling dotted with stars.**

Everyone sighed, remembering each of their individual first times seeing the Great Hall.

**He heard Hermione whisper, "It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in **_**Hogwarts, A History**_**."**

"ARRRRGH!"

**It was hard to believe there was a ceiling there at all, and that the Great Hall didn't simply open on to the heavens.**

"Ah, but if it opened to the heavens, then everyone would be rained on," Moony said mischievously.

**Harry quickly looked down again as Professor McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty. Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let it in the house.**

"Correction: I wouldn't let it on the same planet, if I could help it."

**Maybe they had to get a rabbit out of it, Harry thought wildly, that seemed the sort of thing – noticing that everyone else in the hall was now staring at the hat, he stared at it, too. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth – and the hat began to sing:**

"Please don't sing it, Ron," Hermione pleaded, since Ron couldn't sing to save his life. Ron simply smiled an evil smile and began to sing, completely out of tune.

"_**Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,  
But don't judge on what you see,  
I'll eat myself if you can find  
A smarter hat than me.  
You can keep your bowlers black,  
Your top hats sleek and tall,  
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat  
And I can cap them all.  
There's nothing hidden in your head  
The Sorting Hat can't see,  
So try me on and I will tell you  
Where you ought to be.  
You might belong in Gryffindor,  
Where dwell the brave of heart,  
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry  
Set Gryffindors apart;  
You might belong in Hufflepuff,  
Where they are just and loyal,  
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true  
And unafraid of toil;  
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  
If you've a ready mind,  
Where those of wit and learning,  
Will always find their kind;  
Or perhaps in Slytherin  
You'll make your real friends,  
Those cunning folk use any means  
To achieve their ends.  
So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
And don't get in a flap!  
You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
For I'm a thinking cap!"**_

"AGHHHH!" Hermione was screaming from the instant Ron began singing, trying to drown out him but failing, so much that everyone was holding their ears in pain by the end.

**The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song.**

Hermione glared at Ron.

**It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again. **

"**So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."**

"Which reminds me," Ron muttered. He rolled up his sleeves and proceeded to drag Fred out into the hallway, where several violent sounds could be heard. Ron came back into the room with blood splattered all over him. "He's dead," he said to the questioning looks.

**Uh oh. By whatever powers I get as author, Fred, come alive again!**

Fred walked back into the room and sat down. "Never again," he whispered with his knees drawn against his chest. "I saw angels…" He trailed off, muttering random things to himself.

**Harry smiled weakly. Yes, trying on the hat was a lot better than having to do a spell, but he did wish they could have tried it on without everyone watching. The hat seemed to be asking rather a lot; Harry didn't feel brave or quick-witted or any of it at the moment. If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.**

"The complete opposite of his father," said Lily, rolling her eyes at James.

**Professor McGonagall now stepped forward holding a large roll of parchment.**

"**When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Abbot, Hannah!"**

**A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moment's pause –**

"**HUFFLEPUFF!"**

"Ron!"

"Sorry."

**shouted the hat.**

**The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.**

"When isn't he merry?" Remus asked.

"**Bones, Susan!"**

"**HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah.**

"**Boot, Terry!"**

"**RAVENCLAW!"**

**The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them.**

"**Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too, but "Brown, Lavender"**

Ron gulped as Hermione began glaring into space.

**became the first new Gryffindor, and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could see Ron's twin brothers cat-calling.**

"**Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin. Perhaps it was Harry's imagination, after all he'd heard about Slytherin, but he thought they looked like an unpleasant lot.**

"Okay, even I've got to admit, we don't exactly look nice," Severus admitted. "But we're nice enough to make up for it."

**He was starting to feel definitely sick now. He remembered being picked for teams during gym at his old school. He had always been last to be chosen, not because he was no good, but because no one wanted Dudley to think that they liked him.**

Everyone turned and glared at Petunia, who raised her hands in self-defense.

"**Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"**

"**HUFFLEPUFF!"**

**Sometimes, Harry noticed, the hat shouted out the house at once, but at others, it took a little while to decide. "Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry, sat on the hat for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor.**

"**Granger, Hermione!"**

**Hermione almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head.**

"**GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat. Ron groaned.**

"So it was you!" Hermione scolded Ron. "I knew I heard something!"

**A horrible thought struck Harry,**

"With a huge hammer, and knocked him out, making the prophecy of a black-haired midget with glasses defeating the Dark Lord null and void!" Everyone glared at Ron.

"Get serious, Ron," Lily scolded. "Okay!" Ron went over to Sirius and tapped him on the shoulder. "Sirius, Lily wants you." Everyone laughed at the look on Lily's face.

**as horrible thoughts always do when you're very nervous. What if he wasn't chosen at all? **

James opened his mouth, but closed it at a look from Lily.

**What if he just sat there with the hat over his eyes for ages and ages, until Professor McGonagall jerked it off his head and said there had obviously been a mistake and he'd better get back on the train?**

"I don't think that's EVER happened, Harry, don't you worry your pretty little head," Ginny told her fiancée with a casual smirk.

**When Neville Longbottom, the boy who kept losing his toad, was called, he fell over on his way to the stool. **

"Didn't Alice do that too?" Moony asked his younger counterpart, who nodded.

**The hat took a long time to decide with Neville. When the hat finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR," Neville ran off still wearing it, and had to jog back amid gales of laughter to give it to "MacDougal, Morag."**

"And that?" Another nod.

**Malfoy swaggered forward when his name was called and got his wish at once: the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!"**

"Bet it didn't want to touch him," George muttered to his twin, and they both descended in a fit of silent laughter.

**Malfoy went to join his friends Crabbe and Goyle, looking pleased with himself.**

**There weren't many people left now.**

"**Moon"…,"Nott"…,"Parkinson"…, then a pair of twin girls, "Patil" and "Patil"…, then "Perks, Sally-Anne"…, and then, at last –**

"The muffin man joined the sandman and beat the evil alien forces to save Spain?" James asked. Lily looked shocked at the fact that James knew who the muffin man and the sandman were.

"**Potter, Harry!"**

"Oh, him."

**As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.**

"_**Potter**_**, did she say?"**

"_**The**_** Harry Potter?"**

"No, he's a normal black-haired midget with glasses, not some celebrity. What are you people, crazy?"

**The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited.**

"**Hmmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh my goodness, yes – and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting…. So where shall I put you?"**

"Gryffindor," said James, leaving no room for leeway.

**Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought, **_**Not Slytherin, not Slytherin**_**.**

"Same mind as his father, I see," Severus sneered good-naturedly. Both took it as a complement and gave him a two-fingered salute.

"**Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure?**

"Yep. I don't want to go into Slytherin, no offense," Harry added to Severus.

**You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness, no doubt about that – no? well if you're sure – better be GRYFFINDOR!"**

James and Lily cheered, hugging each other, then each hugging their son, then a three-way group hug, while the others from the past, plus Ginny, since she never saw Harry's Sorting. Once the cheering died down, they continued, eyes still red from crying, as well as 'man-tears' (as the Twins put them) from the guys.

**Harry heard the hat shout the last word to the whole hall. He took off the hat and walked shakily toward the Gryffindor table. He was so relieved to have been chosen**

"You would have been chosen anyway.

**and not put in Slytherin,**

"You wouldn't have."

**He hardly noticed he was getting the loudest cheer yet. Percy the Prefect got up and shook his hand vigorously, while the Weasley twins yelled, "We got Potter! We got Potter!" Harry sat down opposite the ghost in the ruff he'd seen earlier. **

"Nearly Headless Nick!" Sirius and Padfoot cheered.

**The ghost patted his arm, giving Harry the sudden, horrible feeling he'd just plunged it into a bucket of ice water. **

**He could see the High Table clearly now. At the end nearest him sat Hagrid, who caught his eye and gave him the thumbs up. Harry grinned back. And there, in the center of the High Table, in a large gold chair, sat **

"A giant squid?"

"No."

"A manticore?"

"No."

"Ice cream?"

"No."

"An evil-looking git?"

"No."

(About forty minutes later)

"Albus Dumbledore?"

"Finally! Thanks for wasting so much time of our lives, Sirius!" The teenager in question grinned.

**Albus Dumbledore. Harry recognized him at once from the card he'd gotten out of the Chocolate Frog on the train. Dumbledore's silver hair was the only thing in the hall that shone as brightly as the ghosts. Harry spotted Professor Quirrell, too, the nervous young man from the Leaky Cauldron. He was looking very peculiar in a large purple turban.**

"Beware the turban, Harry…" Ron said in an ominous voice "People with turbans are evil."

**And now there were only three people left to be sorted. "Thomas, Dean," a Black boy even taller than Ron, **

"Taller than Ron?" Petunia gasped. "It's not possible!"

**joined Harry at the Gryffindor table."Turpin, Lisa," became a Ravenclaw and then it was Ron's turn. He was pale green by now. Harry crossed his fingers under the table and a second later the hat had shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"**

**Harry clapped loudly with the rest as Ron collapsed into the chair next to him.**

"**Well done, Ron, excellent," said Percy Weasley pompously **

"It's not a question of when he's pompous, it's a question of when he ISN'T pompous," said one of the Twins.

**across from Harry as "Zabini, Blaise," was made a McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.**

**Harry looked down at his empty gold plate. He had only just realized how hungry he was. **

"You JUST realized that THEN?" Ron almost screamed.

**The pumpkin pasties seemed ages ago.**

"Of course they were, they were an hour before then!"

"Almost an hour?" Sirius screamed. "I can't even go for HALF! Speaking of which…" He trailed out as he pulled out a chocolate bar. He blinked, and in that tiny frame of time, it disappeared. Remus and Moony could be seen fighting over it in the next instant. Eventually, Sirius gave up and took it back, and ate it, while the Remuses stared in shock. No one took their chocolate away from them! It was their precious…(**author starts muttering about chocolate and pens and broken laptops…**)

**Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there.**

"**Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!**

Everyone burst out laughing from this…unusual choice of words.

"**Thank you!"**

**He sat back down everyone clapped and cheered. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not.**

"Laugh. it makes things easier," James advised his son.

"**Is he – a bit mad?" he asked Percy uncertainly.**

"**Mad?" said Percy airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes.**

"See, even Percy thinks so!" the Twins clapped each other on the back as they laughed.

**Potatoes, Harry?"**

**Harry's mouth fell open. The dishes in front of him were piled with food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs. **

"We're eating after this," Ron stated. It was not a question.

**The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry, but he'd never been allowed to eat as much as he liked.**

Another glare for Petunia.

**Dudley had always taken anything that Harry really wanted, even if it made him sick. Harry piled his plate with a bit of everything except the peppermints and began to eat. It was all delicious.**

"**That does look good," said the ghost in the ruff sadly, watching Harry cut up his steak. "Can't you - ?"**

"**I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years," said the ghost. "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service. Resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower."**

"Nearly Headless Nick!" the Siriuses cheered again.

"**I know who you are!" said Ron suddenly. "My brothers told me about you – you're Nearly Headless Nick!"**

"…And as always, you display your distinct lack of tact, Ron," said Hermione, chuckling slightly.

"**I would **_**prefer**_** you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy -" the ghost began stiffly, but sandy-haired Seamus Finnigan interrupted.**

"_**Nearly**_** headless? How can you be **_**nearly**_** headless?"**

**Sir Nicholas looked extremely miffed, as if their little chat wasn't going at all the way he wanted.**

"It rarely does."

"**Like **_**this**_**," he said irritably. He seized his left ear and pulled. His whole head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge. Someone had obviously tried to behead him, but not done it properly. Looking pleased at the stunned looks on their faces, Nearly Headless Nick flipped his head back onto his neck, coughed, and said, "So – new Gryffindors! I hope you're going to help us win the house championship this year?**

"Nope!" said the Marauders gleefully.

**Gryffindors have never gone so long without winning. **

"What?"

**Slytherins have got the cup six years in a row!**

"Yes!" Severus cheered.

**The Bloody Baron's becoming almost unbearable – he's the Slytherin ghost."**

**Harry looked over at the Slytherin table and saw a horrible ghost sitting there, with blank staring eyes, a gaunt face, and robes stained with silver blood. He was right next to Malfoy who, Harry was pleased to see, didn't look too pleased with the seating arrangements.**

"If a Malfoy's unhappy, then I'm happy," said Ron.

"**How did he get covered in blood?" Seamus asked with great interest. **

"**I've never asked," said Nearly Headless Nick delicately.**

"You mean you chickened out."

**When everyone had eaten as much as they could, the remains of the food faded from the plates, leaving them sparkling clean as before. A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavor you think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate**

The Remuses had been dosing off slightly, but they both woke up and started looking for chocolate once it was mentioned.

**éclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, Jell-O, rice pudding…**

Sirius had been salivating, up until he spoke up.

"Harry, we're having dinner after this."

"But it's the middle of the day!"

"Details."

**As Harry helped himself to a treacle tart, the talk turned to their families. "I'm half-and-half," said Seamus. "Me dad's a Muggle. Mom didn't tell him she was a witch 'til after they married. Bit of a nasty shock for him."**

There was much laughter.

**The others laughed.**

"Stupid copiers!" Sirius snarled. "When I get my hands on you…"He was pacified by a sharp look from James, who gestured subtly at the girl sitting next to him.

"I'll throw them a party!" he announced, trying to cover up.

"**What about you, Neville?" asked Ron.**

"**Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," said Neville, "but the family thought I was all-Muggle for ages. My Great Uncle Algae kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me – he pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned – but nothing happened until I was eight. Great Uncle Algae came round for dinner, and he was hanging me out of an upstairs window by the ankles when my Great Auntie Enid offered him a meringue and he accidently let go. But I bounced – all the way down the garden and into the road. They were all really pleased, Gran was crying, she was so happy. And you should have seen their faces when I got in here – they thought I might not be magic enough to come, you see. Great Uncle Algae was so pleased he bought me my toad."**

Gasps resounded through the room as Ron finished reading Neville's grim tale. They all looked at each other in mutual agreement before continuing. 'Neville's family must die!'

**On Harry's other side, Percy Weasley and Hermione were talking about lessons ("I **_**do**_** hope they start right away, there's so much to learn. I'm particularly interested in Transfiguration, you know, turning something into something else, of course, it's supposed to be very difficult -"; "You'll be starting small, just matches into needles and that sort of thing -").**

"Nervous much, Hermione?" Ginny asked with a small chuckle, while Hermione blushed.

**Harry, who was starting to feel warm and sleepy, looked up at the High Table again. Hagrid was drinking deeply from his goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking to Professor Dumbledore. Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin.**

"No…No! I refuse to admit it!" James jumped up and pointed at Severus. "You can't teach my son!"

Severus merely raised an eyebrow. "I haven't even become a teacher yet. Don't get ahead of yourself, Potter."

**It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes – and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead.**

"Snape!" James was really mad now. "We're taking this outside!" Grimly, the two teenagers, both taking out their wands and going into the hall, slamming the door behind them. Petunia peeked out from between her fingers. "Is it safe now?"

"**Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head.**

"**What is it?" asked Percy.**

"**N-nothing."**

"Harry, you really need to tell someone in times like that," Lily chided gently.

**The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look – a feeling that he didn't like Harry at all.**

"Typical of Sev," Lily snorted. "He always hated James." They all jumped when they heard a loud explosion from the duelists, but continued warily.

"**Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy.**

"**Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to – everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."**

"Again, he was always like that."

**Harry watched Snape for a while, but Snape didn't look at him again.**

**At last, the desserts too disappeared, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. The hall fell silent. "Ahem – just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. **

"What are we, plants?" Moony asked before taking a good look at the others. They all had the faintest tinge of green around them.

**I have a few start-of-term notices to give you.**

"**First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."**

"Us and them," the Marauders and Twins said while pointing at the other group.

**Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins.**

"Ha!"

"**I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.**

"No one listens to that rule anyway."

"**Quidditch trials will be held in the second week in the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch.**

"**And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to anyone who does not want to die a very painful death."**

"So, emos can go there?" Petunia asked. Harry shrugged. "He never actually said you couldn't go there if you wanted to die, so I guess."

**Harry laughed, but he was one of the few who did.**

"**He's not serious?" he muttered to Percy.**

"Nope, I am!"

"Sirius, shut up!"

"**Must be," said Percy, frowning at Dumbledore. "It's odd, because he usually gives us a reason why we're not allowed to go somewhere – the forest's full of dangerous beasts, everyone knows that.**

"It's also got cute little bunny rabbits, cute little squirrels, and a handsome doggie," Sirius informed Lily.

**I do think he might have told us prefects, at least."**

"**And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore.**

"Ah, the evil school song, one that will give you nightmares for the rest of your life."

**Harry noticed that the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed.**

"They agree with me."

**Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long gold ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words.**

"**Everyone pick their favorite tune," said Dumbledore, "and off we go!"**

**And the school bellowed:**

"Ron, no!" Hermione screamed, but it was too late.

"_**Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,  
Teach us something please,  
Whether we be old and bald  
Or young with scabby knees,  
Our heads could do with filling  
With some interesting stuff,  
For now they're bare and full or air,  
Dead flies and bits of fluff,  
So teach us things worth knowing,  
Bring back what we've forgot,  
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,  
And learn until our brains all rot."**_

"RON!" The person in question simply snickered before continuing.

**Everyone finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.**

"I wonder if it's the same tune James and I always use?" Sirius thought out loud.

**Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of the ones that clapped the loudest.**

"**Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond what we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"**

**The Gryffindor first years followed Percy through the chattering crowds. Out of the Great Hall, and up the marble staircase. Harry's legs were like lead again, but only because he was so tired and full of food. He was too sleepy even to be surprised that the people in the portraits along the corridors whispered and pointed as he passed, or that twice Percy led them through doorways hidden behind sliding panels and hanging tapestries.**

"Hogwarts sure sounds confusing," Petunia remarked.

"You get used to it," Remus assured her.

**They climbed more staircases, yawning and dragging their feet, and Harry was just wondering how far they had to go when they came to a sudden halt.**

"Why?"

"Shut up for a moment, Sirius, and you might find out!"

**A bundle of walking sticks was floating in midair ahead of them, and as Percy took a step towards them they started throwing themselves at him.**

"**Peeves," Percy whispered to the first years. "A poltergeist." He raised his voice, "Peeves – show yourself."**

**A loud, rude sound, like the air being let out of a balloon, answered.**

"Didn't we teach him that?" Padfoot asked Moony. "I think so," came the answer.

"**Do you want me to go to the Bloody Baron?"**

**There was a pop, and a man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross-legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks.**

"**Oooooooh!" he said with an evil cackle. "Ickle Firsties! What fun!"**

**He swooped suddenly at them. They all ducked.**

"**Go away, Peeves, or the Bloody Baron will hear about this, I mean it!" barked Percy.**

**Peeves stuck out his tongue and vanished, dropping the walking sticks on Neville's head. They heard him zooming away, rattling the coats of armor as he passed.**

"And that," Remus explained to a wide-eyed petunia, "was a typical encounter with Peeves."

"**You want to watch out for Peeves," said Percy, as they set off again. "The Bloody Baron's the only one who can control him, he won't even listen to us prefects. Here we are."**

"And that's only because he's scared of Peeves."

**At the very end of the corridor hung a portrait of a very fat woman in a pink silk dress. **

"So THAT'S where the Gryffindor common room is!" said a very bedraggled Severus as he reentered the room. "I always wondered where it was!"

Everyone stared, wide-eyed. "What?"

James reentered and put his arm around Severus' shoulders, as if they were the best of friends.

"We found a mutual bonding," explained James. "We both adore Muggle comic books characters!"

Everyone shrugged and went back to reading, while Sirius filled James in on what he had missed.

"**Password?" she said.**

"**Caput Dracomis," said Percy, and the portrait swung forward to reveal a large hole in the wall. They all scrambled through it – Neville needed a leg up – and found themselves in the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, round room full of squishy armchairs.**

"I love our common room," sighed Ginny wistfully.

**Percy directed the girls through one door to their dormitory and the boys through another. At the top of a spiral staircase – they were obviously in one of the towers – they found their beds at last: five four-posters hung with deep red, velvet curtains. Their trunks had already been brought up. Too tired to talk much, they pulled on their pajamas and fell into bed.**

"**Great food, isn't it?" Ron muttered to Harry through the hangings. "Get **_**off**_**, Scabbers! He's chewing my sheets."**

"Ha ha." Padfoot said calmly. Ron muttered something about "Evil people pretending to be rats" before continuing.

**Harry was going to ask Ron if he'd had any of the treacle tart, but he fell asleep at once.**

**Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much, because he had a very strange dream.**

"Aren't all of your dreams strange, Harry?" Hermione asked. She dodged the good-natured swing he took at her.

**He was wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, which kept talking to him, telling him he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn't want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully – and there was Malfoy, laughing at him as he dtruggled with it – then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laughter became high and cold – there was a burst of green light and Harry woke sweating and shaking.**

"So you've always had weird dreams, then," Ginny teased lightly.

**He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke the next day, he didn't remember the dream at all. **

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was a bit hard to write, since I kept wanting to eat throughout the entire Feast part. Anyway, tell me what you think; should I put up each book as an individual story, or keep them all in one story? It might sound stupid, but I've been thinking about this for a while, and I can't decide. But anyway, vote in the poll on my profile! It will stay there until I get to the end of Book 1. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's my birthday, so you get a new chapter as a present! Yay! Celebrate! I'll shut up now.**

After they finished their…umm…dinner? Lunch? Linner (Dinner for lunch)? Something like that? Well anyway, they were locked in an epic contest to see who would be the next reader.

Severus and James were having a staring contest, while everyone was cheering on one or the other.

"Ready to lose?" James asked, having gone without blinking for the past five minutes.

"Yeah, I'm ready for YOU to lose!" Severus replied, having done likewise.

Lily and Petunia sighed tiredly. "Boys." They each went over to one of the two dueling rivals, and tried dragging them apart, to no avail. Harry cleared his throat, and the two made shushing noises.

"…Um, guys? Why can't you just flip a coin?" This was enough to distract Severus, who finally blinked; a half-second later, James blinked too.

"Finally!" James made a grab for the book.

"**Chapter Eight**," he read. "**The Potions Master**."

"**There, look." **

"**Where?" **

"**Next to the tall kid with the red hair." **

The Weasley boys all grimaced.

"**Wearing the glasses?" **

James grimaced.

"**Did you see his face?" **

Harry grimaced.

"**Did you see his scar?"**

Harry grimaced again.

**Whispers followed Harry from the moment he left his dormitory the next day. People lining up outside classrooms stood on tiptoe to get a look at him, or doubled back to pass him in the corridors again, staring. Harry wished they wouldn't, because he was trying to concentrate on finding his way to classes. **

"Just like his mother!" James said affectionately. Lily and Harry blushed, while everyone laughed. This made everyone laugh more, which made them blush more, which made them laugh more, and so on. Lily eventually got them to shut up by cursing James so that he had boils in a very…uncomfortable place. All the men in the room winced in fear and respect for his pain, which made the room get very quiet, since it was mostly the men laughing.

**There**

"LILY! PLEASE TAKE THEM OFF!" Lily snickered, and with a flick of her wand, made the boils disappear.

**were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts:**

"You actually COUNTED them?" Sirius shrieked. "James! Your kid's not related to you!"

**wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety ones; some that led somewhere different on a Friday; some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump.**

Hermione shook her head sadly. "Neville never did remember to jump that one…"

**Then there were doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely, or tickled them in exactly the right place, **

"The kitchens!" the Twins shouted, holding onto each other in their laughter. Lily and Hermione glared at them, and they shut up.

**and doors that weren't really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending. It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot. The people in the portraits kept going to visit each other, and Harry was sure the coats of armor could walk. **

"They can, didn't you ever see them? It's very weird to see coats of armor walking." Lily shuddered.

**The ghosts didn't help, either. It was always a nasty shock when one of them glided suddenly through a door you were trying to open. Nearly Headless Nick was always happy to point new Gryffindors in the right direction, but Peeves the Poltergeist was worth two locked doors and a trick staircase if you met him when you were late for class. **

The Marauders, Twins, Ron, and Harry paid close attention. The Marauders and Twins because they might learn something new, and the two Golden Trio members because they wanted to pass down that legacy of prankster-itis.

**He would drop wastepaper baskets on your head, pull rugs from under your feet, pelt you with bits of chalk, or sneak up behind you, invisible, grab your nose, and screech, "GOT YOUR CONK!" **

"We taught him that!" James and Sirius exclaimed. Ginny, Hermione, and Lily groaned. Moony grinned. "The best pranksters are always there to give you headaches, even when they're not actually there."

**Even worse than Peeves, if that was possible, was the caretaker, Argus Filch. Harry and Ron managed to get on the wrong side of him on their very first morning.**

**Filch found them trying to force their way through a door that unluckily turned out to be the entrance to the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor.** **He wouldn't believe they were lost, was sure they were trying to break into it on purpose, and was threatening to lock them in the dungeons when they were rescued by Professor Quirrell, who was passing. **

Ron, Hermione, and Harry frowned.

**Filch owned a cat called Mrs. Norris, a scrawny, dust-colored creature with bulging, lamp like eyes just like Filch's. She patrolled the corridors alone. Break a rule in front of her, put just one toe out of line, and she'd whisk off for Filch, who'd appear, wheezing, two seconds later. Filch knew the secret passages of the school better than anyone **

The Twins and Marauders coughed.

**(except perhaps the Weasley twins)**

The Marauders frowned.

**and could pop up as suddenly as one of the ghosts. The students** **all hated him, and it was the dearest ambition of many to give Mrs. Norris a good kick. **

"We want to do it again!" the Marauders and Twins called out, much to everyone's surprise (not really).

**And then, once you had managed to find them, there were the classes themselves. There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your wand and saying a few funny words. **

"Although some people might wish otherwise," Ron said while nudging Harry pointedly. Harry said nothing.

**They had to study the night skies through their telescopes every Wednesday at midnight and learn the names of different stars and the movements of the planets. **

"I hated that." Everyone said simultaneously. Petunia pouted for being the only one not having been to Hogwarts.

**Three times a week they went out to the greenhouses behind the castle to study Herbology, with a dumpy little witch called Professor Sprout, where they learned how to take care of all the strange plants and fungi, and found out what they were used for. Easily the most boring class was History of Magic,**

"Definitely."

**which was the only one taught by a ghost. Professor Binns had been very old indeed when he had fallen asleep in front of the staff room fire and got up next morning to teach, leaving his body behind him. Binns droned on and on while they scribbled down names and dates, and got Emetic the Evil and Uric the Oddball mixed up.**

"You might've, but we didn't!" Hermione and Lily said with their arms around each other's shoulders! Happy Happyness! Too many exclamation points! I'll shut up now! Seriously I will! _**Now.**_

**Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, was a tiny little wizard who had to stand on a pile of books to see over his desk. **

"I love Flitwick…"Lily sighed dreamily. Then, she caught sight of James' face. "As a professor!" she cried, blushing furiously.

**At the start of their first class he took the roll call, and when he reached Harry's name he gave an excited squeak and toppled out of sight.**

"The excitable one," Severus observed dryly. James laughed.

"I remember this one time I managed to get him to believe that he could turn invisible without a spell or Invisibility Cloak," he laughed.

"What happened next?" Ginny asked. James snickered.

"I really shouldn't tell, but… He believed that he was invisible, right? So, what would any guy do if they got the opportunity?" The women looked scandalized, and would have mugged him if he hadn't put up a shield charm. "Exactly. I could see steam coming out of McGonagall's ears, only this time from embarrassment!" The women tried breaking the shield charm, but he made it stronger.

"It was really funny when we did it, too, until Flitwick told McGonagall we told him he was invisible. Worst. Punishment. Ever. I couldn't get the smell off of me for weeks!"

The women tried hurting him again, but the shield charm was too strong. James cackled before continuing, with the women still shooting him glares.

**Professor McGonagall was again different. Harry had been quite right to think she wasn't a teacher to cross.**

"Yet some people," Lily shot James a glare, "cross her anyway."

"What about me and Remus? What are we, chopped liver?" Sirius and Remus asked.

"You're just there."

**Strict and clever, she gave them a talking-to the moment they sat down in her first class. **

"**Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts," she said. "Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned." **

"That's a lie. The Twins and the Marauders messed around more than too many times in her class, and she still kept them."

**Then she changed her desk into a pig and back again. They were all very impressed and couldn't wait to get started, but soon realized they weren't going to be changing the furniture into animals for a long time. **

"Too long," Harry winced.

**After taking a lot of complicated notes, they were each given a match and started trying to turn it into a needle. By the end of the lesson, only Hermione Granger had made any difference to her match; Professor McGonagall showed the class how it had gone all silver and pointy and gave Hermione a rare smile. **

"Wait, how would you know it was rare if it was your first class?" Moony asked.

"She was scowling throughout the entire lesson. You do the math," Harry replied.

**The class everyone had really been looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Quirrell's lessons turned out to be a bit of a joke. **

"It wasn't a joke; jokes are funny," Fred said (rhyme!)

"His classes were funny in how bad they were," his twin argued

"True, true."

**His classroom smelled strongly of garlic, which everyone said was to ward off a vampire he'd met in Romania and was afraid would be coming back to get him one of these days. His turban, he told them, had been given to him by an African prince as a thank-you for getting rid of a troublesome zombie, but they weren't sure they believed this story. **

"It was given to him by Tommy-Boy, I bet," Harry said, the he flinched as though he expected a bolt of lightning from hell to strike him.

**For one thing, when Seamus Finnigan asked eagerly to hear how Quirrell had fought off the zombie, Quirrell went pink and started talking about the weather; for another, they had noticed that a funny smell hung around the turban, and the Weasley twins insisted that it was stuffed full of garlic as well, so that Quirrell was protected wherever he went.**

"!"

That was Remus and Moony.

**Harry was very relieved to find out that he wasn't miles behind everyone else. **

"You weren't miles behind us, you were feet," Ron said. Harry gently punched him in the shoulder.

**Lots of people had come from Muggle families and, like him, hadn't had any idea that they were witches and wizards. There was so much to learn that even people like Ron didn't have much of a head start. **

"I just SAID it was feet!"

**Friday was an important day for Harry and Ron. They finally managed to find their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast without getting lost once. **

"Don't be embarrassed, kids. It's things like this that you look back on when you're old, and give your best evil laugh about," Severus teased.

"**What have we got today?" Harry asked Ron as he poured sugar on his porridge. **

"**Double Potions with the Slytherins," said Ron. "Snape's Head of Slytherin House. They say he always favors them — we'll be able to see if it's true." **

"It's true," the future people chorused when Severus looked at them. Severus pouted, while James gave him a sympathetic look.

"**Wish McGonagall favored us," said Harry. **

"Nope."

**Professor McGonagall was head of Gryffindor House, but it hadn't stopped her from giving them a huge pile of homework the day before. **

"What part of nope don't you understand?"

**Just then, the mail arrived. Harry had gotten used to this by now, but it had given him a bit of a shock on the first morning, when about a hundred owls had suddenly streamed into the Great Hall during breakfast, circling the tables until they saw their owners, and dropping letters and packages onto their laps. **

"It's surprising for the first year Muggleborns, but you get used to it," Lily commented.

**Hedwig hadn't brought Harry anything so far.**

"Wah."

**She sometimes flew in to nibble his ear and have a bit of toast before going off to sleep in the owlery with the other school owls. This morning, however, she fluttered down between the marmalade and the sugar bowl and dropped a note onto Harry's plate. Harry tore it open at once. It said, in a very untidy scrawl: **

"Let me guess: Hagrid."

_**Dear Harry, **_

_**I know you get Friday afternoons off, so would you like to come and have a cup of tea with me around three? **_

_**I want to hear all about your first week. Send us an answer back with Hedwig. **_

_**Hagrid **_

"Awww," the women cooed at Harry. Ron joined in. Ron was hurt. Ron was in pain. Short sentences.

**Harry borrowed Ron's quill, scribbled **_**Yes, please, see you later **_**on the back of the note, and sent Hedwig off again. **

**It was lucky that Harry had tea with Hagrid to look forward to, because the Potions lesson turned out to be the worst thing that had happened to him so far. **

"But, worse things have happened since then," Harry added.

"Yep you've fought off-" Ron was cut off as Harry put his hand over his mouth.

"Let them find out," he whispered to Ron.

**At the start-of-term banquet, Harry had gotten the idea that Professor Snape disliked him. By the end of the first Potions lesson, he knew he'd been wrong. **

"Oh, so you liked him?"

**Snape didn't dislike Harry — he **_**hated **_**him. **

"WHAT?

**Potions lessons took place down in one of the dungeons. It was colder here than up in the main castle, and would have been quite creepy enough without the pickled animals floating in glass jars all around the walls. **

There were many shivers.

**Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name. **

"**Ah, Yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new — **_**celebrity**_**." **

"Hey! It's not my fault my parents died and I was sent to live in an abusive household, then discovering I was a wizard and making fun things happen, only for me to die and then come back to life with a broken pineapple, turning me into an emo!" Harry got many weird looks afterwards.

**Draco Malfoy and his friends Crabbe and Goyle sniggered behind their hands. **

James Potter and his friends Sirius and Remus sniggered behind their hands.

**Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black like Hagrid's, but they had none of Hagrid's warmth. They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels. **

"You know, you're right. Sev's eyes strongly convey the image of dark tunnels," Lily remarked, staring at Severus' eyes.

"Gee thanks," he muttered in response.

"**You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word — like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort.**

"Must've been acquired; he can't stop anything from making noise right now!"

"**As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even stopper death—** **if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." **

"That…was actually a pretty good speech…except for the dunderheads part," Sirius added as an afterthought

**More silence followed this little speech. Harry and Ron exchanged looks with raised eyebrows. Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead. **

"Yes, you were that bad," Ron and Harry said as Hermione opened her mouth.

"**Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" **

"Okay, that's not fair. That's a sixth year question!"

_**Powdered root of what to an infusion of what**_**? Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand had shot into the air. **

"'**Course."**

Hermione glared daggers at Ron, who pretended not to notice. She noticed his quietly chattering teeth, however.

"**I don't know, sir," said Harry. **

**Snape's lips curled into a sneer. **

"**Tut, tut — fame clearly isn't everything." **

**He ignored Hermione's hand. **

"What?"

"**Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" **

"Again, sixth year!"

**Hermione stretched her hand as high into the air as it would go without her leaving her seat, **

"Say anything and I will castrate you." Ron closed his mouth.

**but Harry didn't have the faintest idea what a bezoar was. He tried not to look at Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were shaking with laughter. **

"…And you know what a bezoar is?" The book said nothing. "I thought so."

"**I don't know, sir." **

"**Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" **

**Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes. He had looked through his books at the Dursleys', but did Snape expect him to remember everything in **_**One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi**_**? **

**Snape was still ignoring Hermione's quivering hand. **

"**What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?" **

"That's a trick question; they're the same plant."

"…Are we done with pointing out my future self's teaching problems?"

"Nope!"

**At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching toward the dungeon ceiling.**

Ron opened his mouth, but closed it after a fierce look from Hermione.

"**I don't know," said Harry quietly. "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?" **

**A few people laughed; Harry caught Seamus's eye, and Seamus winked. Snape, however, was not pleased. **

"**Sit down," he snapped at Hermione. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?" **

"Because you never told them to! What are you, an idiot?"

**There was a sudden rummaging for quills and parchment. Over the noise, Snape said, "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."**

"What cheek? He was trying to tell you about Hermione!"

"…James, he was ignoring Hermione."

"…I knew that."

**Things didn't improve for the Gryffindors as the Potions lesson continued. Snape put them all into pairs and set them to mixing up a simple potion to cure boils. He swept around in his long black cloak, watching them weigh dried nettles and crush snake fangs, criticizing almost everyone except Malfoy, whom he seemed to like. **

"Houston, we have a case of favoritism!" Lily pretended to talk into a walkie-talkie. Shegotseveral weird stares. "What? It's for whatever readers this fanfic has!" The looks changed to ones of comprehension.

**He was just telling everyone to look at the perfect way Malfoy had stewed his horned slugs when clouds of acid green smoke and a loud hissing filled the dungeon. Neville had somehow managed to melt Seamus's cauldron into a twisted blob, and their potion was seeping across the stone floor, burning holes in people's shoes. Within seconds, the whole class was standing on their stools while Neville, who had been drenched in the potion when the cauldron collapsed, moaned in pain as angry red boils sprang up all over his arms and legs. **

"**Idiot boy!" snarled Snape, clearing the spilled potion away with one wave of his wand. "I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?" **

**Neville whimpered as boils started to pop up all over his nose. **

"**Take him up to the hospital wing," Snape spat at Seamus. Then he rounded on Harry and Ron, who had been working next to Neville. **

"Oh. No."

"**You — Potter — why didn't you tell him not to add the quills? Thought he'd make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Gryffindor." **

"You just don't like him!"

"Sirius, I can't change what I did in the future."

**This was so unfair that Harry opened his mouth to argue, but Ron kicked him behind their cauldron. **

"**Don't push it," he muttered, "I've heard Snape can turn very nasty." **

"Oh yeah, I know that," Lily chuckled. "Remember after the exams in fourth year?"

"What happened then?" Harry asked curiously.

"Let's just say Alice can never look Sev in the eye again without blushing."

**As they climbed the steps out of the dungeon an hour later, Harry's mind was racing and his spirits were low. He'd lost two points for Gryffindor in his very first week **—_**why **_**did Snape hate him so much? **

"It's his fault." Lily pointed at James.

"**Cheer up," said Ron, "Snape's always taking points off Fred and George. Can I come and meet Hagrid with you?" **

**At five to three they left the castle and made their way across the grounds. Hagrid lived in a small wooden house on the edge of the forbidden forest. A crossbow and a pair of galoshes were outside the front door. **

**When Harry knocked they heard a frantic scrabbling from inside and several booming barks. Then Hagrid's voice rang out, saying, "**_**Back**_**, Fang —**_**back**_**." **

"I'm sure many fanfiction readers know this, but for those who don't, is it just me or does Hagrid name all of his monsters cute names, and all his cute things monster names?" Hermione asked. "You know, like Fang's like a big puppy, while Fluffy was a giant three-headed dog."

**Hagrid's big, hairy face appeared in the crack as he pulled the door open. **

"**Hang on," he said. "**_**Back**_**, Fang." **

**He let them in, struggling to keep a hold on the collar of an enormous black boarhound. **

**There was only one room inside. Hams and pheasants were hanging from the ceiling, a copper kettle was boiling on the open fire, and in the corner stood a massive bed with a patchwork quilt over it. **

"**Make yerselves at home," said Hagrid, letting go of Fang, who bounded straight at Ron and started licking his ears. Like Hagrid, Fang was clearly not as fierce as he looked. **

"Nope. Fang loves everyone."

"**This is Ron," Harry told Hagrid, who was pouring boiling water into a large teapot and putting rock cakes onto a plate. **

"**Another Weasley, eh?" said Hagrid, glancing at Ron's freckles. **

"HEY! I'm not just another Weasley! I'm Ron Weasley!"

"**I spent half me life chasin' yer twin brothers away from the forest." **

Sirius smirked. "We know how to not get caught," he boasted.

"Yeah, but we're the ones who give Hagrid his exercise." They had never thought of that.

**The rock cakes were shapeless lumps with raisins that almost broke their teeth, but Harry and Ron pretended to be enjoying them as they told Hagrid all about their first lessons.**

"Big mistake, Harry. Never eat Hagrid's cooking if you value your life," Sirius advised his godson.

**Fang rested his head on Harry's knee and drooled all over his robes. **

**Harry and Ron were delighted to hear Hagrid call Filch "that old git."**

"He's right, he is an old git," Harry muttered to Ron, who had to hide his snort behind a cough.

"**An' as fer that cat, Mrs. Norris, I'd like ter introduce her to Fang sometime. D'yeh know, every time I go up ter the school, she follows me everywhere? Can't get rid of her — Filch puts her up to it." **

"…" was all that was heard.

**Harry told Hagrid about Snape's lesson. Hagrid, like Ron, told Harry not to worry about it, that Snape liked hardly any of the students. **

"**But he seemed to really **_**hate **_**me." **

"**Rubbish!" said Hagrid. "Why should he?"**

"…" Severus turned to James.

**Yet Harry couldn't help thinking that Hagrid didn't quite meet his eyes when he said that. **

"**How's yer brother Charlie?" Hagrid asked Ron. "I liked him a lot — great with animals." **

"Be more tactful, Hagrid," Ginny advised.

James snorted. "Oh, so SHE can talk to the book, but I CAN'T?"

Ginny was silent for a moment. "…Shut up."

**Harry wondered if Hagrid had changed the subject on purpose. **

"See? Even Ron noticed!"

James handed a container to Ginny. She turned it over to find a label that said "Crazy Pills. Take one every hour, and if you feel any signs of wanting to do weird stuff, take more."

She threw it at James, hitting him between the eyes.

**While Ron told Hagrid all about Charlie's work with dragons, Harry picked up a piece of paper that was lying on the table under the tea cosey. It was a cutting from the **_**Daily Prophet**_**: **

_**GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN LATEST **_

"What the hell? Gringotts was broken into?" Severus exclaimed. Harry shushed him.

"It was Voldemort."

"Oh. Well, that's okay then."

_**Investigations continue into the break-in at Gringotts on 31 July, widely believed to be the work of Dark wizards or witches unknown.**_

"How is Voldemort unknown?" Petunia asked.

"It's a mystery to us all, Petunia."

_**Gringotts goblins today insisted that nothing had been taken. The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied the same day. **_

"_**But we're not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what's good for you," said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon. **_

**Harry remembered Ron telling him on the train that someone had tried to rob Gringotts, but Ron hadn't mentioned the date. **

"**Hagrid!" said Harry, "that Gringotts break-in happened on my birthday! It might've been happening while we were there!" **

"It did," Harry said to his parents' questioning looks.

**There was no doubt about it, Hagrid definitely didn't meet Harry's eyes this time. He grunted and offered him another rock cake. Harry read the story again. **_**The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. **_**Hagrid had emptied vault seven hundred and thirteen, if you could call it emptying, taking out that grubby little package. Had that been what the thieves were looking for? **

"Okay, I'm taking a wild guess here, but I'm betting that's the Sorcerers' Stone," said Severus to James.

"How'd you know?" Harry asked. Severus simply pointed to the book cover in response.

**As Harry and Ron walked back to the castle for dinner, their pockets weighed down with rock cakes they'd been too polite to refuse,**

"AWWWW!"

**Harry thought that none of the lessons he'd had so far had given him as much to think about as tea with Hagrid. Had Hagrid collected that package just in time? Where was it now? And did Hagrid know something about Snape that he didn't want to tell Harry?**

"Yep to all of the above," said Moony in a bored tone.

* * *

**Please don't hurt me! You won't like my blood! It's yellow! I was on a sugar high when I wrote this! Don't hurt me! Too many exclamation points!**

**In other news, I'm going to leave the poll up until the end of the first book, so I can get as many opinions as possible. Have a happy Father's Day, if anyone who's reading this is a dad.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry. This would have been out yesterday, but was giving me problems and not letting me upload it. On the positive side, this chapter is actually profreeded, instead of me just revising it as I go.**

"Alright James, hand it over," Severus ordered with an evil glint in his eye. "Or there will be pain. Much pain. Pain that will scar you for life."

James gulped loudly and gave him the book, a hand protecting his…vulnerable area.

"**Chapter 9,**" Severus read. "**The Midnight Duel**."

**Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley but that was before he met Draco Malfoy.**

"We still hate each other," Harry hastily assured his father. "But not that much anymore. Now it's just a mutual dislike."

**Still, first-year Gryffindors only had Potions with the Slytherins, so they didn't have to put up with Malfoy much. Or at least they didn't until they spotted a notice pinned up in the Gryffindor common room that made them all groan. Flying lessons **

"Yes! YES!" James screamed, jumping around in some kind of dance. Severus stopped him. "Why else would they groan?"

**would be starting on Thursday – and Gryffindor and Slytherin would be learning together.**

"BOOOOOO!" James shouted, giving the book the middle finger.

"**Typical," said Harry darkly. "Just what I always wanted. To make a fool of myself on a broomstick in front of Malfoy."**

"Yeah, that's what everyone wants," Remus muttered to no one in particular, but only Moony heard him.

"I hear you brother," he whispered back. Remus had been…well…not very good at riding a broomstick, and since Remus and Moony were the same person…you figure it out.

**He had been looking forward to learning to fly more than anything else.**

"He already knew how to fly, if he was anything like James," Lily whispered to Petunia.

"**You don't know that you'll make a fool of yourself," said Ron reasonably.**

Ron blushed and looked away while muttering dark things under his breath when several other people gave him a funny look.

"**Anyway, I know Malfoy's always going on about how good he is at Quidditch, but I bet that's all talk."**

"It was, mate. Don't you remember?" Ron asked, nudging Harry, still blushing slightly.

**Malfoy certainly did talk about flying a lot. He complained loudly about first years never getting on the house Quidditch teams and told long, boastful stories that always seemed to end in him narrowly escaping Muggles in helicopters.**

"All of which aren't true. Unless he flew into them on purpose."

**He wasn't the only one, though: the way Seamus Finnigan told it, he'd spent most of his childhood zooming around the countryside on his broomstick. Even Ron would tell anyone who'd listen about the time he'd almost hit a hang glider on Charlie's old broom. Everyone from wizarding families talked about Quidditch constantly. **

"Why wouldn't we? Quidditch is like football to Muggles," Ron remarked. He then looked at the screen. "Soccer to all of the American readers."

"Who are you talking to?" Petunia asked confusedly.

"Well, I figured that it's unfair that only Harry can break the fourth wall, so I'm doing it too."

**Ron had already had a big argument with Dean Thomas, who shared their dormitory, about soccer. Ron couldn't see what was so exciting about a game with only one ball where no one was allowed to fly. Harry had caught Ron prodding Dean's poster of West Ham soccer team, trying to make the players move.**

Ron whistled a jaunty tune mysteriously.

**Neville had never been on a broomstick in his life, because his grandmother had never let him near one. Privately, Harry felt she'd had good reason, because Neville seemed to have an extraordinary amount of accidents even with both feet on the ground.**

**Hermione Granger was almost as nervous about flying as Neville was. This was something you couldn't learn by heart out of a book – not that she hadn't tried. **

"Of course," Lily said, rolling her eyes. Remus rolled his eyes right back at her.

"Bloody hypocrite," he muttered.

**At breakfast on Thursday she bored them all stupid with flying tips she'd gotten out of a library book called **_**Quidditch Through the Ages**_**. Neville was hanging onto her every word, desperate for anything that might help him hang onto his broomstick later, but everyone else was very pleased when Hermione's lecture was interrupted by the arrival of the mail. **

**Harry hadn't gotten a single letter since Hagrid's note, something Malfoy had been quick to notice, of course. Malfoy's eagle owl was always bringing him packages of sweets from home, which he opened gloatingly at the Slytherin table.**

"Spoiled motherf***ing mama's boy with all the crappy presents, by Merlin's mother!"

**A barn owl brought Neville a small package from his grandmother. He opened it excitedly and showed them a glass ball the size of a marble, which seemed to be full of white smoke.**

"**It's a Remembrall!" he explained. "Gran knows I forget things – this tells you if there's something you've forgotten to do. Look, you hold it tight like this and if it turns red – oh…" his face fell, because the Remembrall had suddenly glowed scarlet, "…you've forgotten something…"**

"The only problem with it is that it doesn't tell you what you forget," Petunia observed dryly.

**Neville was trying to remember what he'd forgotten when Draco Malfoy, who was passing the Gryffindor table, snatched the Remembrall out of his hand. **

**Harry and Ron jumped to their feet. They were half-hoping for a reason to fight Malfoy, but Professor McGonagall, who could spot trouble quicker than any other teacher in the school, was there in a flash.**

"Of light!" Fred added. He and George high-fived while everyone else looked at them weirdly.

"**What's going on?"**

"**Malfoy's got my Remembrall, Professor."**

**Scowling, Malfoy quickly dropped the Remembrall back on the table.**

"**Just looking," he said, and he sloped away with Crabbe and Goyle behind him.**

"I don't know how to tell you this, but looking doesn't involve your eyes," Padfoot said in a 'duh!' tone.

**At three-thirty that afternoon, Harry, Ron, and the other Gryffindors hurried down the front steps onto the grounds for their first flying lesson. It was a clear, breezy day, and the grass rippled under their feet as they marched down the sloping lawns toward a smooth, flat lawn on the opposite side of the grounds to the forbidden forest, whose trees were swaying darkly in the distance.**

**The Slytherins were already there, and so were twenty broomsticks lying in neat lines on the ground. Harry had heard Fred and George complain about the school brooms, saying that some of them started to vibrate if you flew too high, or always flew slightly to the left.**

"They really need to replace the school brooms," James remarked. "Some of them are getting dangerous to ride."

**Their teacher, Madam Hooch, arrived. She had short, gray hair, and yellow eyes like a hawk.**

"**Well, what are you all waiting for?" she barked. "Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up."**

**Harry glanced down at his broom. It was old and some of the twigs stuck out at odd angles.**

"Point proven; that's a safety hazard."

"**Stick out your right hand over the broom," called Madam Hooch at the front, "and say 'Up!'"**

"**UP!" everyone shouted.**

"Broom basics; gotta love 'em."

**Harry's broom jumped into his hand at once, but it was one of the few that did. Hermione Granger's had simply rolled over on the ground, and Neville's hadn't moved at all. Perhaps brooms, like horses, could tell when you were afraid, thought Harry; there was a quaver in Neville's voice that said all too clearly that he wanted to keep his feet on the ground. **

**Madam Hooch then showed them how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end, and walked up and down the rows correcting their grips. Harry and Ron were delighted when she told Malfoy he had been doing it wrong for years.**

James did a mini victory dance, and the others just ignored him. It was actually a little scary that they'd almost gotten used to him and Sirius and the Twins already.

"**Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off the ground, hard," said Madam Hooch. "Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come straight back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle – three – two -"**

**But Neville, nervous and jumpy about being left on the ground, pushed off hard before the whistle had touched Madam Hooch's lips.**

"**Come back boy!" she shouted, but Neville was rising straight up like a cork out of a bottle – twelve feet – twenty feet. Harry saw his scared white face look down at the ground falling away, saw him gasp, slide off his broom and – **

**WHAM**

They all winced.

– **a thud and a nasty crack and Neville lay facedown on the grass in a heap. His broomstick was still rising higher and higher, and started to drift lazily toward the forbidden forest and out of sight.**

**Madam Hooch was bending over Neville, her face as white as his.**

"**Broken wrist," Harry heard her mutter. "Come on boy – it's all right, up you get."**

There were many winces. No one likes a broken anything. They tend to be painful.

**She turned to the rest of the class.**

"**None of you is to move while I take this boy to the hospital wing! You leave those brooms where they are or you'll be out of here before you can say 'Quidditch.' Come on, dear."**

"Quidditch."

"Very funny, Sirius."

**Neville, his face tear-streaked, clutching his wrist, hobbled off with Madam Hooch, who had her arm around him.**

**No sooner were they out of earshot than Malfoy burst into laughter.**

"**Did you see his face, the great lump?"**

"Why Malfoy, let's break your wrist, if you're such man then you can take it!" said Ginny angrily.

**The other Slytherins joined in.**

"**Shut up, Malfoy," snapped Parvati Patil.**

"**Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl. "Never thought **_**you'd**_** like fat little crybabies, Parvati."**

"I wonder how you get up in the morning, with that big head!" Hermione retorted.

"**Look!" said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass. "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's gran sent him."**

**The Remembrall glittered in the sun as he held it up.**

"**Give that here, Malfoy," said Harry quietly. Everyone stopped talking to watch.**

**Malfoy smiled nastily.**

"**I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find – how about – up a tree?"**

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"He's actually Narcissa's son, not Bella's," Sirius corrected him. "Though Narcissa isn't exactly the nicest person in the world, either."

"**Give it **_**here**_**!" Harry yelled, but Malfoy had leapt onto his broomstick and taken off. He hadn't been lying, he **_**could**_** fly well. Hovering level with the topmost branches of an oak he called, "Come and get it, Potter!"**

"Do it, show him what you're made of, kid," James said to the book. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"What, I'm not good enough to be your son?" he asked in a joking tone.

**Harry grabbed his broom.**

"_**No**_**!" shouted Hermione Granger. "Madam Hooch told us not to move – you'll get us all into trouble."**

"That's never stopped you before, Hermione," Ron chuckled.

**Harry ignored her. Blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared; air rushed through his hair, and his robes whipped out behind him – and in a rush of joys he realized he'd found something he could do without being taught – this was easy, this was **_**wonderful**_**. He pulled his broomstick up a little to take it even higher, and heard screams and gasps of girls back on the ground and an admiring whoop from Ron.**

James was staring in pride at his son, who had seemed to inherit the Potter hair, the Potter Quidditch talent, and their liking for redheaded girls.

**He turned his broomstick sharply to face Malfoy in midair. Malfoy looked stunned.**

"**Give it here," Harry called, "or I'll knock you off that broom!"**

"**Oh yeah?" said Malfoy, trying to sneer, but looking worried.**

"Yeah! Or he'll knock you off your broom!" Sirius added.

**Harry knew, somehow, what to do. He leaned forward and grasped the broom tightly in both hands, and it shot toward Malfoy like a javelin. Malfoy only just got out of the way in time; Harry made a sharp about-face and held the broom steady. A few people below were clapping.**

"**No Crabbe and Goyle up here to save your neck, Malfoy," Harry called.**

"Yay. Crush him," said Remus in a monotone.

**The same thought seemed to have struck Malfoy.**

"**Catch it if you can, then!" he shouted, and he threw the glass ball high in the air and streaked back toward the ground. **

"I did. I then threw it at your head and knocked you out."

**Harry saw, as though in slow motion, the ball rise up into the air and then start to fall. He leaned forward and pointed his broom handle down – next second he was gathering**__**speed in a steep dive, racing the ball – wind whistled in his ears, mingling with the screams of the people watching – he stretched out his hand – a foot from the ground he caught it, just in time to pull his broom straight, and he toppled gently on the grass with the Remembrall clutched safely in his fist.**

"Yes! You did it!" James cheered, doing his disturbing victory dance.

"**HARRY POTTER!"**

"Crap."

**His heart sunk faster than he'd just dived. Professor McGonagall was running toward them. He got to his feet, trembling.**

"_**Never**_** – in all my time at Hogwarts –"**

"Other than every single year we were there, you mean," Padfoot added.

**Professor McGonagall was almost speechless from shock, and her glasses flash furiously, "- how dare you – might have broken your neck –"**

"**It wasn't his fault, Professor –"**

"**Be quiet, Miss Patil –"**

"**But Malfoy –"**

"**That's **_**enough**_**, Mr. Weasley. Potter, follow me, now."**

**Harry caught sight of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle's triumphant faces as he left, walking numbly in Professor McGonagall's wake as she strode toward the castle. He was going to be expelled, he just knew it. **

Sirius chuckled. "Nah, they wouldn't expel you for something like that, kiddo."

**He wanted to say something to defend himself, but there seemed to be something wrong with his voice. Professor McGonagall was sweeping along without even looking at him; he had to jog to keep up. Now he'd done it. He hadn't even lasted two weeks. He'd be packing his bags in ten minutes. What would the Dursleys say when he turned up on their doorstep?**

"They'd say, 'ooo, look at the famous Harry Potter, with his broken wand and his scar and his awesome father. You go, kid!"

**Up the front steps, up the marble staircase inside, and still Professor McGonagall didn't say a word to him. She wrenched open doors and marched along corridors with Harry trotting miserably behind her. Maybe she was taking him to Dumbledore. He thought of Hagrid, expelled but allowed to stay on as gamekeeper. Perhaps he could be Hagrid's assistant. His stomach twisted as he imagined it, watching Ron and the others become wizards while he stumped around the grounds carrying Hagrid's bag. **

"…I'm not even going to say it anymore."

**Professor McGonagall stopped outside a classroom. She opened the door and poked her head inside. **

"**Excuse me, Professor Flitwick, could I borrow Wood for a minute?"**

**Wood? thought Harry, bewildered; was Wood a cane she was going to use on him?**

**But Wood turned out to be a person, a burly fifth-year boy who came out of Flitwick's class looking confused.**

"**Follow me, you two," said Professor McGonagall, and they marched on up the corridor, Wood looking curiously at Harry.**

"**In here."**

**Professor McGonagall pointed them into a classroom that was empty except for Peeves, who was busy writing rude words on the blackboard.**

"We taught him a fair few swear words while we were there," Moony mused. "He better have remembered them."

"**Out, Peeves!" she barked. Peeves threw the chalk into a bin, which clanged loudly, and he swooped out, cursing. Professor McGonagall slammed the door behind him and turned to face the two boys.**

"**Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood – I've found you a Seeker."**

"Knew it!" James cheered. His son was a Quidditch player, he had just _known_ it. Sirius joined in on his best friend's happiness, while Remus simply watched them with a smile on his face.

**Wood's expression changed from puzzlement to delight.**

"**Are you serious, Professor?" **

"No, that's me."

"Sirius!"

"**Absolutely," said Professor McGonagall crisply. "The boy's a natural. I've never seen anything like it. Was that your first time on a broomstick, Potter?"**

**Harry nodded silently. He didn't have a clue what was going on, but he didn't seem to be being expelled, and some of the feeling started coming back into his legs.**

"**He caught that thing after a fifty-foot dive," Professor McGonagall told Wood. "Didn't even scratch himself. Charlie Weasley couldn't have done it."**

**Wood was now looking as though all his dreams had come true at once.**

"…What about that one dream, you know, the one about Penelope – or is that Percy?"

"It's Percy, twin."

"Thanks, twin."

"You're welcome, twin."

"**Ever seen a game of Quidditch, Potter?" he asked excitedly.**

"**Wood's captain of the Gryffindor team," Professor McGonagall explained.**

"**He's just the build for a Seeker, too," said Wood, now walking around Harry and staring at him. "Light – speedy – we'll have to get him a decent broom, Professor – A Nimbus Two Thousand or a Cleansweep Seven, I'd say."**

"**I shall speak to Professor Dumbledore and see if we can't bend the first-year rule. Heaven knows, we need a better team than last year. **_**Flattened**_** in that last match by Slytherin, I couldn't look Severus Snape in the eye for weeks…"**

James and Sirius winced, while Severus winced.

**Professor McGonagall peered sternly over her glasses at Harry.**

"**I want to hear you're training hard Potter, or I may change my mind about punishing you."**

**Then she suddenly smiled.**

"**You're father would have been proud," she said. "He was an excellent Quidditch player himself**."

"**You're **_**joking**_**."**

"No, Ron, I wasn't joking, there was a hippogriff on my head."

**It was dinnertime. Harry had just finished telling Ron what had happened when he'd left the grounds with Professor McGonagall. Ron had a piece of steak and kidney pie halfway to his mouth, but he'd forgotten all about it.**

"_**Seeker**_**?" he said. "But first years **_**never**_** – you must be the youngest house player in about –"**

"A century," said James gleefully.

" **- a century," said Harry, shoveling pie into his mouth. He felt particularly hungry after the excitement of the afternoon. "Wood told me."**

**Ron was so amazed, so impressed, that he just sat and gaped at Harry.**

"**I start training next week," said Harry. "Only don't tell anyone, Wood wants to keep it a secret."**

**Fred and George Weasley now came into the hall, spotted Harry, and hurried over.**

"**Well done," said George in a low voice. "Wood told us. We're on the team too – Beaters."**

"And we're the some of the best Beaters in the history of the school," Fred added in the same low voice.

"**I tell you, we're going to win that Quidditch cup for sure this year," said Fred. "We haven't won since Charlie left, but this year's team is going to be brilliant. You must be good, Harry, Wood was almost skipping when he told us."**

"I never knew Wood had a gay side," Harry mused. "Must've been a closet gay." The others gave him funny looks.

"**Anyway, we've got to go, Lee Jordan reckons he found a new secret passageway out of the school."**

"**Bet it's that one behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy that we found in our first week. See you."**

**The Marauders gaped at each other. **

"That took us almost a month to find!" Sirius gasped. "James, I hate to say it, but…"

"They're better than us," James finished with a worried look at the Twins.

**Fred and George had hardly disappeared when someone far less welcome had turned up: Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle.**

"**Having a last meal, Potter? When are you getting the train back to the Muggles?"**

"The summer, why?"

"**You're a lot braver now that you're back on the ground and you're got your little friends with you," said Harry coolly. There was of course nothing little about Crabbe and Goyle, but as the High Table was full of teachers, neither of them could do more than crack their knuckles and scowl.**

"**I'd take you on anytime on my own," said Malfoy. "Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Wands only – no contact. What's the matter? Never heard of a wizard's duel before, have you?"**

"**Of course he has," said Ron, wheeling around. "I'm his second, who's yours?"**

**Malfoy looked at Crabbe and Goyle, sizing them up.**

"**Crabbe," he said. "Midnight all right?" We'll meet you in the trophy room; that's always unlocked."**

"He's lying," Lily said instantly. "He has no honor whatsoever; he's lying."

**When Malfoy had gone, Ron and Harry looked at each other.**

"**What **_**is**_** a wizard's duel?" said Harry. "And what you mean, you're my second?"**

"**Well, a second's there to take over if you die," said Ron casually, getting started at last on his cold pie. Catching the look on Harry's face, he added, "But people only die in proper duels, you know, with real wizards. The most you and Malfoy'll be able to do is send sparks at each other. Neither of you knows enough magic to do any real damage. I bet he expected you to refuse, anyway."**

"**And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?"**

"**Throw it away and punch him on the nose," Ron suggested.**

"Good advice, Ron," Harry said. "I think I should have done that to Tommy-Boy instead of _Expelliarmus_."

"**Excuse me."**

**They both looked up. It was Hermione Granger.**

"**Can't a person eat in peace in this place?" said Ron.**

"No, there must always be an interruption, Ron," Hermione sighed.

**Hermione ignored him and spoke to Harry.**

"**I couldn't help overhearing what you and Malfoy were saying –"**

"**Bet you could," Ron muttered.**

" – **and you **_**mustn't**_** go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you'll lose Gryffindor if you're caught, and you're bound to be. It's really very selfish of you."**

"**And it's really none of your business," said Harry.**

"**Good-bye," said Ron.**

**All the same, it wasn't what you'd call a perfect end to the day, Harry thought, as he lay awake much later listening to Dean and Seamus falling asleep (Neville wasn't back from the hospital wing). Ron had spent all evening giving him advice such as "If he tries to curse you, you'd better dodge it, because I can't remember how to block them." **

"_Protego_."

**There was a very good chance they would get caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris, and Harry felt he was pushing his luck, breaking another school rule today. On the other hand, Malfoy's sneering face kept leering out of the darkness – this was his big chance to beat Malfoy face-to-face. He couldn't miss it.**

"Exactly how James and I used to feel," Severus mused.

"**Half-past eleven," Ron muttered at last, "we'd better go."**

**They pulled on their bathrobes, picked up their wands, and crept across the tower room, down the spiral staircase, and into the Gryffindor common room. A few embers were still glowing in the fireplace, turning all the armchairs into hunched black shadows. They had almost reached the portrait hole when a voice spoke from the chair nearest them, "I can't believe you're going to do this, Harry."**

**A lamp flickered on. It was Hermione Granger, wearing a pink bathrobe and a frown. **

"_**You**_**!" said Ron furiously. "Go back to bed!"**

"**I almost told your brother," Hermione snapped. "Percy – he's a prefect, he'd put a stop to this."**

"Now these two, on the other hand…" Ron gestured at the Twins.

**Harry couldn't believe anyone could be so interfering.**

"**Come on," he said to Ron. He pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady and climbed through the hole.**

**Hermione wasn't going to give up that easily. She followed Ron through the portrait hole, hissing at them like an angry goose.**

"Or a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach," Sirius added. They all stared at him, shuddering. "What?"

"**Don't you **_**care**_** about Gryffindor, do you **_**only **_**care about yourselves,**_** I**_** don't want Slytherin to win the house cup, and you'll lose all the points I got from McGonagall for knowing about Switching Spells."**

"**Go away."**

"**All right, but I warned you, you just remember what I said when you're on the train home tomorrow, you're so –"**

"Handsome," Padfoot preened.

**But what they were, they didn't find out. **

"I just told you; handsome."

**Hermione had turned to the portrait of the Fat Lady to get back inside and found herself facing an empty painting. The Fat Lady had gone on a nighttime visit and Hermione was locked out of Gryffindor Tower.**

"**Now what am I going to do?" she asked shrilly.**

"You can do nothing, or you can do various other things which may or may not involve instense pain and possibly death."

"**That's your problem," said Ron. "We've got to go, we're going to be late."**

**They hadn't even reached the end of the corridor when Hermione caught up with them.**

"**I'm coming with you," she said.**

"**You are **_**not**_**."**

"**D'you think I'm going to stand out here and wait for Filch to catch me?"If he finds all three of us I'm telling the truth, that I was trying to stop you, and you can back me up."**

"**You've got some nerve –" said Ron loudly.**

""**Shut up, both of you!" said Harry sharply. "I heard something."**

**It was a sort of snuffling.**

"**Mrs. Norris?" breathed Ron, squinting through the dark.**

"If that was, I'm surprised you're still alive," Ginny remarked.

**It wasn't Mrs. Norris. It was Neville. He was curled up on the floor, fast asleep, but jerked suddenly awake when they crept near.**

"**Thank goodness you found me! I've been out here for hours, I couldn't remember the new password to get in to bed."**

"**Keep your voice down, Neville. The password's 'Pig snout' but it won't help you now, the Fat Lady's gone off somewhere."**

"**How's your arm?" said Harry. **

"**Fine," said Neville, showing them. "Madam Pomfrey mended it in about a minute."**

"Then what took him so long to get up to the dormitory?" Petunia asked.

"**Good – well, look, Neville, we've got to be somewhere, we'll see you later –"**

"**Don't leave me!" said Neville, scrambling to his feet, "I don't want to stay here alone, the Bloody Baron's been past twice already."**

Severus winced. "I know how you feel; seeing him once is enough."

**Ron looked at his watch and then glared furiously at Hermione and Neville.**

"**If either of you get us caught, I'll never rest until I learn that Curse of the Bogies Quirrell told us about, and used it on you."**

"Does he mean the Bat-Bogey Hex?" Ginny asked Harry.

**Hermione opened her mouth, perhaps to tell Ron exactly how use the Curse of the Bogies, but Harry hissed at her to be quiet and beckoned them forward.**

**They flitted along corridors striped with bars of moonlight from the high windows. At every turn Harry expected to run into Filch or Mrs. Norris, but they were lucky. They sped up a staircase to the third floor and tiptoed toward the trophy room.**

**Malfoy and Crabbe weren't there yet. The crystal trophy cases glimmered where the moonlight caught them. Cups, shields, plates, and statues winked silver and gold in the darkness. They edged along the walls, keeping their eyes on the doors at either end of the room. Harry took out his wand in case Malfoy jumped in and started at once. The minutes crept by.**

"**He's late, maybe he's chickened out," Ron whispered.**

"I told you, he's not showing," Lily told the book. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I think everyone here is clinically insane."

In the background, James was doing his victory dance again.

**Then a noise in the next room made them jump. Harry had only just raised his wand when they hear someone speak – and it wasn't Malfoy.**

"**Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner."**

**It was Filch speaking to Mrs. Norris. Horror-struck, Harry waved madly at the other three to follow him as quietly as possible; they scurried silently toward the door, away from Filch's voice. Neville's robes had barely whipped around the corner when they heard Filch enter the room.**

"**They're in here somewhere," they heard him mutter, "probably hiding."**

"**This way!" Harry mouthed to the others and, petrified, they began to creep down a long gallery full of suits of armor. They could hear Filch getting nearer. Neville suddenly let out a frightened squeak and broke into a run – he tripped, grabbed Ron around the waist, **

"Hermione, why are you blushing?" Remus asked suddenly. Looking around, they saw Hermione frantically trying and failing to cover up her furious blush. She looked away, muttering so that no one could hear her, "I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous…" Remus and Moony smiled sagely.

**ermione frantically trying to cover up her blus**

**and the pair of them toppled right into a suit of armor.**

**The clanging and crashing were enough to wake up the whole castle.**

"**RUN!" Harry yelled, and the four of them sprinted down the gallery, not looking back to see if Filch was following – they swung around the doorpost and galloped down one corridor then another, Harry in the lead, without any idea of where they were or where they were going – they ripped through a tapestry and found themselves in a hidden passageway, hurtled along it and came out near their Charms classroom, which they knew was miles from the trophy room.**

"Oh look, a secret passage."

"**I think we've lost him," Harry panted, leaning against the cold wall and wiping his forehead. Neville was bent double, wheezing and spluttering. **

"**I – **_**told**_** – you," Hermione gasped, clutching at the stitch in her chest, "I – told – you."**

"I know you told them, now did you have to repeat yourself?" Petunia asked.

"**We've got to get back to Gryffindor tower," said Ron, "quickly as possible."****arryn HHThis**

"**Malfoy tricked you," Hermione said to Harry. "You realize that, don't you? He was never going to meet you – Filch knew someone was going to be in the trophy room, Malfoy must have tipped him off."**

"No, really?" Lily asked sarcastically.

**Harry thought she was probably right, but he wasn't going to tell her that.**

"**Let's go."**

**It wasn't going to be that simple. They hadn't gone more than a dozen paces when a doorknob rattled and something came shooting out of a classroom in front of them. **

**It was Peeves. **

"Crap."

**He caught sight of them and gave a squeal of delight.**

"**Shut up, Peeves – please – you'll get us thrown out."**

**Peeves cackled. **

"**Wandering around at midnight, Ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty."**

"**Not if you don't give us away, Peeves, please."**

"**Should tell Filch, I should," said Peeves in a saintly voice, but his eyes glittered wickedly. "It's for your own good, you know."**

"**Get out of the way," snapped Ron, taking a swipe at Peeves – this was a big mistake.**

"That is not how you deal with Peeves," James sighed at his son's friend's stupidity.

"**STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves bellowed, "STUDENTS OUT OF BED DOWN THE CHARMS CORRIDOR!"**

**Ducking under Peeves, they ran for their lives, right to the end of the corridor where they slammed into a door – and it was locked.**

"**This is it!" Ron moaned, as they pushed helplessly at the door, "We're done for! This is the end!"**

"Then why are you still alive?"

"That's a good question."

**They could hear footsteps, Filch running as fast as he could toward Peeves's shouts.**

"**Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wand, tapped the lock, and whispered, "**_**Alohomora**_**!"**

"That's our Hermione; always calm," Moony praised.

"Except for the plant incident," Ron muttered to Harry.

**The lock clicked and the door swung opened – they piled through it, shut it quickly, and pressed their ears against it, listening.**

"**Which way did they goes, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me!"**

"**Say 'please.'"**

"Oh, this is going to be good; we taught him this," Padfoot chuckled.

"**Don't mess with me Peeves, now **_**where did they go**_**?"**

"**Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice.**

"**All right – please."**

"**NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I would say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sounds of Peeves whoosing away and Filch cursing in rage.**

Fred sighed and wiped a tear from his eye. "Masters of pranking; that's the five of us."

"**He thinks this door is locked," Harry whispered. "I think we'll be okay – get **_**off**_**, Neville!" For Neville had been tugging on the sleeves of Harry's bathrobe for the past minute. "**_**What**_**?"**

**Harry turned around – and saw, quiet clearly, what. For a moment, he was sure he'd walked into a nightmare – this was too much, on top of everything that had happened so far.**

"What is it?" Ginny asked worriedly.

**They weren't in a room, as he had supposed. They were in a corridor. The forbidden corridor on the fourth floor. And now they knew why it was forbidden.**

**They were looking straight into the eyes of a monstrous dog, a dog that filled the whole space between ceiling and floor. Three pairs of rolling, mad eyes; three noses, twitching and quivering in their direction; three drooling mouths, saliva hanging in slippery ropes from yellowish fangs.**

Severus whistled. "Scary."

**It was standing quite still, all six eyes staring at them, and Harry knew that the reason that they weren't already dead was that their sudden appearance had taken it by surprise, but it was quickly getting over that, there was no mistaking what those thunderous growls meant.**

**Harry groped for the doorknob – between death and Filch, he'd take Filch.**

"Smart boy," James whispered to Lily.

**They fell backward – Harry slammed the door shut, and they ran, they almost flew, back down the corridor. Filch must have hurried off to look for them somewhere else, because they didn't see him anywhere, but they hardly cared – all they wanted to do was put as much space as possible between them and that monster. They didn't stop running until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady on the seventh floor.**

"**Where on earth have you all been?" she asked, looking at their bathrobes hanging off their shoulders and their flushed, sweaty faces.**

"**Never mind that – pig snout, pig snout," panted Harry, and the portrait swung forward. They scrambled into the common room and collapsed, trembling, into armchairs.**

**It was a while before any of them said anything. Neville, indeed, looked as though he'd never speak again.**

"**What do they think they're doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?" said Ron finally. "If any dog needs exercise, that one does."**

Everyone looked at Sirius and Padfoot. "What?"

**Hermione had got both her breath and her bad temper back again.**

"**You don't use your eyes, any of you, do you?" she snapped. "Didn't you see what it was standing on?"**

"**The floor?" Harry suggested. "I wasn't looking at its feet, I was too busy with its heads."**

"Again, smart boy."

"**No, **_**not **_**the floor. It was standing on a trapdoor. It's obviously guarding something."**

**She stood up, glaring at them.**

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," James chuckled, earning him a punch on the shoulder from a blushing Lily.

"**I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed – or worse, expelled. **

"You need to get your priorities right, Hermione," Sirius chided laughingly. "Even Moony preferred living over being expelled."

**Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."**

**Ron stared at her, his mouth open.**

"**No, we don't mind," he said. "You'd think we dragged along, wouldn't you?"**

**But Hermione had given Harry something else to think about as he climbed back into bed. The dog was guarding something…What had Hagrid said? Gringotts was the safest place in the world for something you wanted to hide – except perhaps Hogwarts.**

**It looked as though Harry had found out where the grubby little package from vault seven hundred and thirteen was.**

"No, you're found out where Honeydukes keeps all their candy," Sirius said sarcastically. "What are you, stupid?"

"YES," said everyone else


	11. Chapter 11

Harry calmly handed the book to Hermione, who opened it to the right page and began, bla bla bla, same thing as the last eight chapters…

**Malfoy couldn't believe his eyes when he saw that Harry and Ron were still at Hogwarts the next day, looking tired but perfectly cheerful. Indeed, by the next morning Harry and Ron thought that meeting the three-headed dog had been an excellent adventure, and they were quite keen to have another one.**

"...I won't even say it," Lily sighed. "It's probably a men thing."

**In the meantime, Harry filled Ron in about the package that seemed to have been moved from Gringotts to Hogwarts, and they spent a lot of time wondering what could possibly need such heavy protection.**

"Here's a hint: it's on the book cover," said Severus.

"**It's either really valuable or really dangerous," said Ron.**

"**Or both," said Harry.**

**But as all they knew for sure about the mysterious object was that it was about two inches long, they didn't have much chance of guessing what it was without further clues. Neither Neville nor Hermione showed the slightest interest in what lay underneath the dog and the trapdoor. All Neville cared about was never going near the dog again.**

**Hermione was now refusing to speak to Harry and Ron, but she was such a bossy know-it-all that they saw this as an added bonus.**

"Admit it, Hermione, you were a know-it-all back then."

"Fine, Ron. Can we just move on now?

**All they really wanted now was a way of getting back at Malfoy, and to their great delight, just such a thing arrived in the mail about a week later. **

**As the owls flooded into the Great Hall as usual, everyone's attention was caught at once by a long, thin package carried by six large screech owls. Harry was just as interested as everyone else to see what was in this large parcel, and was amazed when the owls soared down and dropped it right in front of him, knocking his bacon to the floor. They had hardly fluttered out of the way when another owl dropped a letter on top of the parcel. **

**Harry ripped open the letter first, which was lucky, because it said:**

**DO NOT OPEN THE PARCEL AT THE TABLE.**

"That was good advice," Harry chuckled. "If people had seen that, then they would have done something, probably in revenge."

**It contains your new Nimbus Two Thousand, but I don't want everybody knowing you've got a broomstick or they'll all want one. Oliver Wood will meet you tonight on the Quidditch field at seven o'clock for your first training session.**

**Professor M. McGonagall**

"Professor McGonagall sent you a broom?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. "She must really want to win."

**Harry had difficulty hiding his glee as he handed the note to Ron to read. **

"**A Nimbus Two Thousand!" Ron moaned enviously. "I've never even **_**touched **_**one."**

"Of course you haven't, Ron. It was only released a few months before school."

**They left the hall quickly, wanting to unwrap the broomstick in private before their first class, but halfway across the entrance hall they found the way upstairs barred by Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy seized the package from Harry and felt it.**

"**That's a broomstick," he said, throwing it back to Harry with a mixture of jealousy and spite on his face. "You'll be in for it this time, Potter, first years aren't allowed them." **

"Jealous bastard."

**Ron couldn't resist it.**

"**It's not any old broomstick," he said, "it's a Nimbus Two Thousand. What did you say you've got at home, Malfoy, a Comet Two Sixty?" Ron grinned at Harry. "Comets look flashy, but they're not in the same league as the Nimbus."**

"True that," muttered Ginny.

"**What would you know about it, Weasley, you couldn't afford half the handle," Malfoy snapped back. "I suppose you and your brothers have to save up twig by twig."**

**Before Ron could answer, Professor Flitwick appeared at Malfoy's elbow.**

"**Not arguing, I hope, boys?" he squeaked.**

"**Potters been sent a broomstick, Professor," said Malfoy quickly.**

"**Yes, yes, that's right," said Professor Flitwick, beaming at Harry. **"**Professor McGonagall told me all about the special circumstances, Potter. **

"Oooh, special circumstances."

**And what model is it?"**

"**A Nimbus Two Thousand, sir," said Harry, fighting not to laugh at the look of horror on Malfoy's face. "And it's really thanks to Malfoy here that I've got it," he added.**

"That's how you treat Slytherins," James laughed, patting is son on the back. "Except for you, Sev," he added when Severus gave him a look.

**Harry and Ron headed upstairs, smothering their laughter at Malfoy's obvious rage and confusion.**

"**Well, it's true," Harry chortled as they reached the top of the marble staircase, "If he hadn't stolen Neville's Remembrall I wouldn't be on the team. . . ."**

"**So I suppose you think that's a reward for breaking rules?" came an angry voice from just behind them. Hermione was stomping up the stairs, looking disapprovingly at the package in Harry's hand.**

"Yes, you should always be rewarded for breaking the rules," said Sirius.

"**I thought you weren't speaking to us?" said Harry.**

"**Yes, don't stop now," said Ron, "it's doing us so much good."**

**Hermione marched away with her nose in the air.**

"...I won't say anything," muttered Lily, "it's obvious."

**Harry had a lot of trouble keeping his mind on his lessons that day. It kept wandering up to the dormitory where his new broomstick was lying under his bed, or straying off to the Quidditch field where he'd be learning to play that night. He bolted his dinner that evening without noticing what he was eating, and then rushed upstairs with Ron to unwrap the Nimbus Two Thousand at last.**

"**Wow," Ron sighed, as the broomstick rolled onto Harry's bedspread.**

**Even Harry, who knew nothing about the different brooms, thought it looked wonderful. **

James opened his mouth, then closed it when he remembered Harry's "special conditions."

**Sleek and shiny, with a mahogany handle, it had a long tail of neat, straight twigs and Nimbus Two Thousand written in gold near the top.**

Ginny, Harry, Ron, Sirius, James, Fred, and George all sighed at the memories/mental images.

**As seven o'clock drew nearer, Harry left the castle and set off in the dusk toward the Quidditch field. He'd never been inside the stadium before. Hundreds of seats were raised in stands around the field so that the spectators were high enough to see what was going on. At either end of the field were three golden poles with hoops on the end. They reminded Harry of the little plastic sticks Muggle children blew bubbles through, except that they were fifty feet high.**

**Too eager to fly again to wait for Wood, Harry mounted his broomstick and kicked off from the ground. What a feeling — he swooped in and out of the goal posts and then sped up and down the field. The Nimbus Two Thousand turned wherever he wanted at his lightest touch.**

"**Hey, Potter, come down!"**

"Spoilsport. Anyone who interrupts someone flying should be punished."

**Oliver Wood had arrived. He was carrying a large wooden crate under his arm. Harry landed next to him.**

"**Very nice," said Wood, his eyes glinting. "I see what McGonagall meant . . . you really are a natural. I'm just going to teach you the rules this evening, then you'll be joining team practice three times a week."**

**He opened the crate. Inside were four different-sized balls.**

"Here come the rules," thought James as he leaned forwards; no matter how many times he heard them, he could never hear the rules for Quidditch enough.

"**Right," said Wood. "Now, Quidditch is easy enough to understand, even if it's not too easy to play. There are seven players on each side. Three of them are called Chasers."**

"Or Ginny," Ron muttered to Harry. "She's almost good enough to be her own team of Chasers."

"**Three Chasers," Harry repeated, as Wood took out a bright red ball about the size of a soccer ball.**

"**This ball's called the Quaffle," said Wood. "The Chasers throw the Quaffle to each other and try and get it through one of the hoops to score a goal. Ten points every time the Quaffle goes through one of the hoops. Follow me?"**

"**The Chasers throw the Quaffle and put it through the hoops to score," Harry recited. "So — that's sort of like basketball on broomsticks with six hoops, isn't it?"**

"**What's basketball?" said Wood curiously.**

"**Never mind," said Harry quickly.**

"**Now, there's another player on each side who's called the Keeper — I'm Keeper for Gryffindor. I have to fly around our hoops and stop the other team from scoring."**

"**Three Chasers, one Keeper," said Harry, who was determined to remember it all. "And they play with the Quaffle. Okay, got that. So what are they for?" He pointed at the three balls left inside the box.**

"**I'll show you now," said Wood. "Take this."**

**He handed Harry a small club, a bit like a short baseball bat.**

"Was that one of your clubs, or did you keep your own?" Harry asked the Twins.

"We kept our own," they answered, "those were extra ones."

"**I'm going to show you what the Bludgers do," Wood said.**

"**These two are the Bludgers."**

**He showed Harry two identical balls, jet black and slightly smaller than the red Quaffle. Harry noticed that they seemed to be straining to escape the straps holding them inside the box.**

"**Stand back," Wood warned Harry. He bent down and freed one of the Bludgers.**

**At once, the black ball rose high in the air and then pelted straight at Harry's face. Harry swung at it with the bat to stop it from breaking his nose, and sent it zigzagging away into the air — it zoomed around their heads and then shot at Wood, who dived on top of it and managed to pin it to the ground. **

"Well, Harry," Sirius chuckled. "You'd make a pretty good Beater with those skills."

"**See?" Wood panted, forcing the struggling Bludger back into the crate and strapping it down safely. "The Bludgers rocket around, trying to knock players off their brooms. That's why you have two Beaters on each team — the Weasley twins are ours — it's their job to protect their side from the Bludgers and try and knock them toward the other team. So — think you've got all that?" **

"**Three Chasers try and score with the Quaffle; the Keeper guards the goal posts; the Beaters keep the Bludgers away from their team," Harry reeled off.**

"**Very good," said Wood.**

"**Er — have the Bludgers ever killed anyone?" Harry asked, hoping he sounded offhand.**

"Notice he didn't say anything about other places," Lily muttered to Hermione. Neither of them liked playing Quidditch, for the sole reason that it was so dangerous.

"**Never at Hogwarts. We've had a couple of broken jaws but nothing worse than that. Now, the last member of the team is the Seeker. That's you. And you don't have to worry about the Quaffle or the Bludgers —"**

"— **unless they crack my head open."**

"**Don't worry, the Weasleys are more than a match for the Bludgers — I mean, they're like a pair of human Bludgers themselves." **

"That's one of the biggest complements for a Beater," Sirius whispered to Harry.

**Wood reached into the crate and took out the fourth and last ball. Compared with the Quaffle and the Bludgers, it was tiny, about the size of a large walnut. It was bright gold and had little fluttering silver wings.**

"The Golden Snitch..." James whispered. "I...must...have...it..." He was reaching for the book at this point, and Hermione pulled it away from him with a scared look.

"You might want to get him looked at," she said to Lily.

"_**This,**_**" said Wood, "is the Golden Snitch, and it's the most important ball of the lot. It's very hard to catch because it's so fast and difficult to see. It's the Seeker's job to catch it. You've got to weave in and out of the Chasers, Beaters, Bludgers, and Quaffle to get it before the other team's Seeker, because whichever Seeker catches the Snitch wins his team an extra hundred and fifty points, so they nearly always win. That's why Seekers get fouled so much. A game of Quidditch only ends when the Snitch is caught, so it can go on for ages — I think the record is three months, they had to keep bringing on substitutes so the players could get some sleep.**

"**Well, that's it — any questions?"**

"Oh!" Harry almost had his glasses taken off by Hermione's hand.

"He meant Harry, Hermione." Hermione lowered her hand with a blush.

**Harry shook his head. He understood what he had to do all right, it was doing it that was going to be the problem.**

"**We won't practice with the Snitch yet," said Wood, carefully shutting it back inside the crate, "it's too dark, we might lose it. Let's try you out with a few of these."**

**He pulled a bag of ordinary golf balls out of his pocket and a few minutes later, he and Harry were up in the air, Wood throwing the golf balls as hard as he could in every direction for Harry to catch. Harry didn't miss a single one, and Wood was delighted. After half an hour, night had really fallen and they couldn't carry on.**

"**That Quidditch Cup'll have our name on it this year," said Wood happily as they trudged back up to the castle. "I wouldn't be surprised if you turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn't gone off chasing dragons."**

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure whether he should take that as a complement or an insult."

**Perhaps it was because he was now so busy, what with Quidditch practice three evenings a week on top of all his homework, but Harry could hardly believe it when he realized that he'd already been at Hogwarts two months. The castle felt more like home than Privet Drive ever had. His lessons, too, were becoming more and more interesting now that they had mastered the basics. **

**On Halloween morning they woke to the delicious smell of baking pumpkin wafting through the corridors. Even better, Professor Flitwick announced in Charms that he thought they were ready to start making objects fly, something they had all been dying to try since they'd seen him make Neville's toad zoom around the classroom. Professor Flitwick put the class into pairs to practice. Harry's partner was Seamus Finnigan (which was a relief, because Neville had been trying to catch his eye). Ron, however, was to be working with Hermione Granger. It was hard to tell whether Ron or Hermione was angrier about this. She hadn't spoken to either of them since the day Harry's broomstick had arrived.**

"**Now, don't forget that nice wrist movement we've been practicing!" squeaked Professor Flitwick, perched on top of his pile of books as usual. "Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. And saying the magic words properly is very important, too — never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said 's' instead of 'f ' and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest."**

"...Oookay..." said Peunia slowly. "...Weird..."

**It was very difficult. Harry and Seamus swished and flicked, but the feather they were supposed to be sending skyward just lay on the desktop. Seamus got so impatient that he prodded it with his wand and set fire to it — Harry had to put it out with his hat. Ron, at the next table, wasn't having much more luck.**

"_**Wingardium Leviosa**_**!" he shouted, waving his long arms like a windmill.**

Ginny snickered at her brother's idiocy.

"**You're saying it wrong," Harry heard Hermione snap. "It's Wing-**_**gar**_**-dium Levi-**_**o**_**-sa, make the 'gar' nice and long."**

"**You do it, then, if you're so clever," Ron snarled.**

"Bad idea, Ron," Remus said with a laugh. "Lily never could resist a challenge." Lily slapped him on the arm with a slight blush.

**Hermione rolled up the sleeves of her gown, flicked her wand, and said, "**_**Wingardium Leviosa**_**!"**

**Their feather rose off the desk and hovered about four feet above their heads.**

"**Oh, well done!" cried Professor Flitwick, clapping. "Everyone see here, Miss Granger's done it!"**

**Ron was in a very bad mood by the end of the class.**

"**It's no wonder no one can stand her," he said to Harry as they pushed their way into the crowded corridor, "she's a nightmare, honestly."**

**Someone knocked into Harry as they hurried past him. It was Hermione. Harry caught a glimpse of her face — and was startled to see that she was in tears.**

"**I think she heard you."**

"I did hear you."

"**So?" said Ron, but he looked a bit uncomfortable. "She must've noticed she's got no friends."**

"That was mean, Ron," Ginny chided.

**Hermione didn't turn up for the next class and wasn't seen all afternoon. On their way down to the Great Hall for the Halloween feast, Harry and Ron overheard Parvati Patil telling her friend Lavender that Hermione was crying in the girls' bathroom and wanted to be left alone. Ron looked still more awkward at this, but a moment later they had entered the Great Hall, where the Halloween decorations put Hermione out of their minds.**

"Great, ignorance of your best girl friend," Ginny rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't their friend back then," Hermione reminded her. Ginny rolled her eyes again.

"They shouldn't have done it anyway."

**A thousand live bats fluttered from the walls and ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins stutter. The feast appeared suddenly on the golden plates, as it had at the start-of-term banquet.**

**Harry was just helping himself to a baked potato when Professor Quirrell came sprinting into the hall, his turban askew and terror on his face. Everyone stared as he reached Professor Dumbledore's chair, slumped against the table, and gasped, "Troll — in the dungeons — thought you ought to know."**

**He then sank to the floor in a dead faint.**

"Ha ha ha ha!" James laughed while pointing at the book.

**There was an uproar. It took several purple firecrackers exploding from the end of Professor Dumbledore's wand to bring silence.**

"**Prefects," he rumbled, "lead your Houses back to the dormitories immediately!"**

**Percy was in his element.**

"Of course, Prefect Percy, future Bighead Boy, in his element."

"**Follow me! Stick together, first years! No need to fear the troll if you follow my orders! Stay close behind me, now. Make way, first years coming through! Excuse me, I'm a prefect!"**

"**How could a troll get in?" Harry asked as they climbed the stairs.**

"**Don't ask me, they're supposed to be really stupid," said Ron.**

"**Maybe Peeves let it in for a Halloween joke."**

"That does sound like something Peeves would do," Padfoot mused.

**They passed different groups of people hurrying in different directions. As they jostled their way through a crowd of confused Hufflepuffs, Harry suddenly grabbed Ron's arm.**

"**I've just thought — Hermione."**

"**What about her?"**

"**She doesn't know about the troll."**

**Ron bit his lip.**

"It shouldn't need you to think about it!" Moony muttered darkly.

"**Oh, all right," he snapped. "But Percy'd better not see us."**

**Ducking down, they joined the Hufflepuffs going the other way, slipped down a deserted side corridor, and hurried off toward the girls' bathroom. They had just turned the corner when they heard quick footsteps behind them.**

"**Percy!" hissed Ron, pulling Harry behind a large stone griffin. Peering around it, however, they saw not Percy but Snape. He crossed the corridor and disappeared from view.**

"What were you doing, stalking the girls' bathroom?" James asked Severus. "I never knew you were a pervert."

"**What's he doing?" Harry whispered. "Why isn't he down in the dungeons with the rest of the teachers?"**

"**Search me."**

"I just told our readers, he's a pervert!"

**Quietly as possible, they crept along the next corridor after Snape's fading footsteps.**

"**He's heading for the third floor," Harry said, but Ron held up his hand.**

"**Can you smell something?"**

**Harry sniffed and a foul stench reached his nostrils, a mixture of old socks and the kind of public toilet no one seems to clean.**

"Is that the worst you've ever smelled? Then i pity you, try diving into a Muggle sewer, headfirst. It's disgusting."

**And then they heard it — a low grunting, and the shuffling footfalls of gigantic feet. Ron pointed — at the end of a passage to the left, something huge was moving toward them. They shrank into the shadows and watched as it emerged into a patch of moonlight.**

"...The troll..."

**It was a horrible sight. Twelve feet tall, its skin was a dull, granite gray, its great lumpy body like a boulder with its small bald head perched on top like a coconut. It had short legs thick as tree trunks with flat, horny feet. The smell coming from it was incredible.**

"I think you meant horrible, 'cause a troll smells _terrible_!" said Padfoot.

**It was holding a huge wooden club, which dragged along the floor because its arms were so long.**

**The troll stopped next to a doorway and peered inside. It waggled its long ears, making up its tiny mind, then slouched slowly into the room.**

"**The key's in the lock," Harry muttered. "We could lock it in."**

"Great idea, genius. Now what about Hermione?" Severus rolled his eyes.

"**Good idea," said Ron nervously.**

**They edged toward the open door, mouths dry, praying the troll wasn't about to come out of it. With one great leap, Harry managed to grab the key, slam the door, and lock it.**

"_**Yes**_**!"**

"What about me?"

**Flushed with their victory, they started to run back up the passage, but as they reached the corner they heard something that made their hearts stop — a high, petrified scream — and it was coming from the chamber they'd just chained up.**

"Told you."

"**Oh, no," said Ron, pale as the Bloody Baron.**

"**It's the girls' bathroom!" Harry gasped.**

"_**Hermione**_**!" they said together.**

"Great, now you remember me," Hermione said with an eyeroll. "Nice to feel appreciated."

**It was the last thing they wanted to do, but what choice did they have? Wheeling around, they sprinted back to the door and turned the key, fumbling in their panic. Harry pulled the door open and they ran inside.**

**Hermione Granger was shrinking against the wall opposite, looking as if she was about to faint. The troll was advancing on her, knocking the sinks off the walls as it went.**

"**Confuse it!" Harry said desperately to Ron, and, seizing a tap, he threw it as hard as he could against the wall.**

"You're insane, you know that?" Petunia asked, shaking her head.

Harry pulled out a piece of paper and wrote, "Petunia; #5039."

**The troll stopped a few feet from Hermione. It lumbered around, blinking stupidly, to see what had made the noise. Its mean little eyes saw Harry. It hesitated, then made for him instead, lifting its club as it went.**

"**Oy, pea-brain!" yelled Ron from the other side of the chamber, and he threw a metal pipe at it. **

"You're insane, too."

Ron pulled out his own paper and wrote, "Petunia; #1963."

**The troll didn't even seem to notice the pipe hitting its shoulder, but it heard the yell and paused again, turning its ugly snout toward Ron instead, giving Harry time to run around it.**

"**Come on, run, **_**run**_**!" Harry yelled at Hermione, trying to pull her toward the door, but she couldn't move, she was still flat against the wall, her mouth open with terror.**

**The shouting and the echoes seemed to be driving the troll berserk. It roared again and started toward Ron, who was nearest and had no way to escape.**

**Harry then did something that was both very brave and very stupid: He took a great running jump and managed to fasten his arms around the troll's neck from behind. **

"That goes beyond insane to stupid, Harry."

Harry took out another piece of paper and wrote, "Mom; #946."

**The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wand had still been in his hand when he'd jumped — it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.**

"…Ew…"

**Howling with pain, the troll twisted and flailed its club, with Harry clinging on for dear life; any second, the troll was going to rip him off or catch him a terrible blow with the club.**

**Hermione had sunk to the floor in fright; Ron pulled out his own wand — not knowing what he was going to do he heard himself cry the first spell that came into his head: "**_**Wingardium Leviosa**_**!"**

"Smart boy Ron, here's a cookie."

**The club flew suddenly out of the troll's hand, rose high, high up into the air, turned slowly over — and dropped, with a sickening crack, onto its owner's head. The troll swayed on the spot and then fell flat on its face, with a thud that made the whole room tremble.**

**Harry got to his feet. He was shaking and out of breath. Ron was standing there with his wand still raised, staring at what he had done.**

**It was Hermione who spoke first.**

"**Is it — dead?"**

"**I don't think so," said Harry, "I think it's just been knocked out."**

"Damn, I wanted to see a dead troll."

**He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.**

"**Urgh - troll boogers."**

**He wiped it on the troll's trousers.**

"And you're still using that wand?" Lily shrieked loudly. She started scooting away from Harry.

**A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made the three of them look up. They hadn't realized what a racket they had been making, but of course, someone downstairs must have heard the crashes and the troll's roars. A moment later, Professor McGonagall had come bursting into the room, closely followed by Snape, with Quirrell bringing up the rear. Quirrell took one look at the troll, let out a faint whimper, and sat quickly down on a toilet, clutching his heart.**

**Snape bent over the troll. Professor McGonagall was looking at Ron and Harry. Harry had never seen her look so angry. Her lips were white. Hopes of winning fifty points for Gryffindor faded quickly from Harry's mind.**

"Yeah, it doesn't look too good for you guys."

"**What on earth were you thinking of?" said Professor McGonagall, with cold fury in her voice. Harry looked at Ron, who was still standing with his wand in the air. "You're lucky you weren't killed. Why aren't you in your dormitory?"**

**Snape gave Harry a swift, piercing look. Harry looked at the floor. He wished Ron would put his wand down.**

"Give me my cookie back, Ron. You don't deserve it anymore."

**Then a small voice came out of the shadows.**

"**Please, Professor McGonagall — they were looking for me."**

"**Miss Granger!"**

**Hermione had managed to get to her feet at last.**

"**I went looking for the troll because I — I thought I could deal with it on my own — you know, because I've read all about them."**

**Ron dropped his wand. Hermione Granger, telling a downright lie to a teacher?**

"Shame she hasn't done it since then," Ron muttered to Harry.

"**If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now. Harry stuck his wand up its nose and Ron knocked it out with its own club. They didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived."**

**Harry and Ron tried to look as though this story wasn't new to them.**

"Which is especially impossible for our Ickle Ronniekins here," the Twins gestured to Ron.

"**Well — in that case . . ." said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them, "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?"**

**Hermione hung her head. Harry was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets.**

"Not on your life," said Severus when everyone turned to him and held out their hands.

"**Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this," said Professor McGonagall. "I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor Tower. Students are finishing the feast in their Houses."**

**Hermione left.**

**Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and Ron.**

"**Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go."**

**They hurried out of the chamber and didn't speak at all until they had climbed two floors up. It was a relief to be away from the smell of the troll, quite apart from anything else.**

"**We should have gotten more than ten points," Ron grumbled.**

"Five, Ickle Ronnikins"

"**Five, you mean, once she's taken off Hermione's."**

"**Good of her to get us out of trouble like that," Ron admitted. "Mind you, we **_**did **_**save her."**

"**She might not have needed saving if we hadn't locked the thing in with her," Harry reminded him.**

"At least _someone_ sees it my way."

**They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.**

"**Pig snout," they said and entered.**

**The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up. Hermione, however, stood alone by the door, waiting for them. There was a very embarrassed pause. Then, none of them looking at each other, they all said "Thanks," and hurried off to get plates.**

**But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.**

"True that," James muttered.

* * *

The gang was arguing about who would read next, when Padfoot decided to take matters into his own hands…or, to be more exact, paws.

"Give it back!" James roared, as he and Remus charged through the hallway chasing Padfoot, who was in his dog form. Padfoot seemed to smirk at him through his Animagus form, which only made James run faster.

Suddenly, Remus leapt around the corner. Padfoot had no time to dodge, so he went with the simple method; he went through the legs. Unfortunately, though, he was slightly too tall.

With great pain written all over his face, Remus collapsed to the ground in the fetal position, twitching.

James and Sirius only paused to give Remus a sympathetic look before continuing to chase Padfoot, who was nearing the drawing room again.

"Hey…why'd…he…steal it…anyway?" Sirius puffed alongside James.

"Probably his PMS, but who knows," James answered.

Padfoot skidded to a halt outside the kitchen door, and quickly looked around. Seeing no one, he dropped the book on the table, before morphing back into his human shape.

"There," he growled, even though there seemed to be no one there with him. "Now, will you keep to our deal?"

A brilliant light flared up over by the window, and Padfoot had to cover his eyes before he was blinded.

"Sure, whatever," said a voice coming from the direction of the light. "Just don't say I didn't warn you…"


	12. Chapter 12

**Nothing to say, again, other than updates will stop until I find my copy of the book, which disappeared when I was finishing up the comments in between the reading parts. Thankfully though, I have about a quarter of the next chapter typed.**

* * *

"Well, Padfoot finally gave the book back, now who wants to read?" asked Harry while holding the book up again, using the same method to introduce the chapter as the last 9 chapters because the author's too lazy to think of a new method. They all ignored the sound of the fourth wall breaking yet again, which sounded kind of like a duck's quack for some reason.

"I will," said Sirius, taking the book. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Why Sirius, I never knew you could read," she commented.

"Yeah, I can, what's it to-hey!"

"Just read, buddy," James sighed. Sirius stuck his tongue out at Lily, opened the book, and started to read.

**As they entered November, the weather turned very cold. The mountains around the school became icy gray and the lake like chilled steel. Every morning the ground was covered in frost. Hagrid could be seen from the upstairs windows defrosting broomsticks on the Quidditch field, bundled up in a long moleskin overcoat, rabbit fur gloves, and enormous beaverskin boots.**

**The Quidditch season had begun.**

"Yay!"

**On Saturday, Harry would be playing in his first match after weeks of training: Gryffindor versus Slytherin. If Gryffindor won, they would move up into second place in the House Championship.**

"Double yay!"

"Shut up, James."

**Hardly anyone had seen Harry play because Wood had decided that, as their secret weapon, Harry should be kept, well, secret. **

"Okay, that's beyond obvious," Severus muttered.

**But the news that he was playing Seeker had leaked out somehow, and Harry didn't know which was worse — people telling him he'd be brilliant or people telling him they'd be running around underneath him holding a mattress.**

"That's encouraging," Moony muttered under his breath.

**It was really lucky that Harry now had Hermione as a friend. He didn't know how he'd have gotten through all his homework without her, what with all the last-minute Quidditch practice Wood was making them do. **

"Which is completely sensible!" James protested hotly to Lily, who was giving him 'The Look'. "How else are you going to get better?"

**She had also lent him **_**Quidditch Through the **__**Ages, **_**which turned out to be a very interesting read.**

**Harry learned that there were seven hundred ways of committing a Quidditch foul and that all of them had happened during a World Cup match in 1473; that Seekers were usually the smallest and fastest players, and that most serious Quidditch accidents seemed to happen to them; that although people rarely died playing Quidditch, referees had been known to vanish and turn up months later in the Sahara Desert.**

"Like that one World Cup match we went to, remember that James?" Sirius asked his friend, elbowing him.

**Hermione had become a bit more relaxed about breaking rules since Harry and Ron had saved her from the mountain troll, and she was much nicer for it. **

"You kind of remind me of Remus, Hermione," Sirius mused. "Always against the rulebreaking."

"You just noticed that?"

"...Moving on!"

**The day before Harry's first Quidditch match the three of them were out in the freezing courtyard during break, and she had conjured them up a bright blue fire that could be carried around in a jam jar. They were standing with their backs to it, getting warm, when Snape crossed the yard. Harry noticed at once that Snape was limping. Harry, Ron, and Hermione moved closer together to block the fire from view; they were sure it wouldn't be allowed. Unfortunately, something about their guilty faces caught Snape's eye. He limped over. He hadn't seen the fire, but he seemed to be looking for a reason to tell them off anyway.**

"..."

"What?"

"..." They all kept staring at him.

"**What's that you've got there, Potter?"**

**It was **_**Quidditch Through the Ages. **_**Harry showed him.**

"**Library books are not to be taken outside the school," said Snape. "Give it to me. Five points from Gryffindor."**

"Your future self is a bitch," James muttered to Serverus out of the corner of his mouth. "He makes way too many rules up."

"**He's just made that rule up," Harry muttered angrily as Snape limped away. "Wonder what's wrong with his leg?"**

"**Dunno, but I hope it's really hurting him," said Ron bitterly.**

Petunia opened her mouth, then closed it when she remembered what Snape had just said in the book.

**The Gryffindor common room was very noisy that evening. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat together next to a window. Hermione was checking Harry and Ron's Charms homework for them. She would never let them copy ("How will you learn?"),**

"Exactly what Remus said when Peter tried to copy off him," said James. He was glared at by everyone from the future who know what Peter had done. "What?" More glaring. "What'd I do this time?"

**but by asking her to read it through, they got the right answers anyway.**

**Harry felt restless. He wanted **_**Quidditch Through the Ages **_**back, to take his mind off his nerves about tomorrow. Why should he be afraid of Snape? Getting up, he told Ron and Hermione he was going to ask Snape if he could have it.**

"**Better you than me," they said together, **

"Better by you, better than me!" Sirius sang as they quickly covered their ears from his terrible singing. "What? It had to be done."

**but Harry had an idea that Snape wouldn't refuse if there were other teachers listening. He made his way down to the staffroom and knocked. There was no answer. He knocked again. Nothing.**

**Perhaps Snape had left the book in there? It was worth a try. He pushed the door ajar and peered inside — and a horrible scene met his eyes.**

**Snape and Filch were inside, alone. **

"That could be taken in a very disturbing way," Moony muttered under his breath.

**Snape was holding his robes above his knees. **

"Again, that could be taken in a very disturbing way."

"...Shut up, Moony."

"Oh, you're gay, Padfoot? I never would have guessed that, what with the amount of time you spent with girls back in school."

"Moving on!"

**One of his legs was bloody and mangled. Filch was handing Snape bandages.**

"**Blasted thing," Snape was saying. "How are you supposed to keep your eyes on all three heads at once?" Harry tried to shut the door quietly, but —**

"**POTTER!"**

**Snape's face was twisted with fury as he dropped his robes quickly to hide his leg. Harry gulped.**

"**I just wondered if I could have my book back."**

"**GET OUT! **_**OUT**_**!"**

"Sheesh, that made it sound like you were doing something you didn't want anyone else to see," Harry muttered to Severus.

"More than you think," Severus whispered back. "I have my suspicions about what Padfoot did in the last chapter's ending."

"What?"

"Something which cannot be understood unless there is no fourth wall." They turned to the story's fourth wall, which was basically a pile of concrete and glass at this point.

"Ah."

**Harry left, before Snape could take any more points from Gryffindor. He sprinted back upstairs.**

"**Did you get it?" Ron asked as Harry joined them. "What's the matter?"**

**In a low whisper, Harry told them what he'd seen.**

"**You know what this means?" he finished breathlessly. "He tried to get past that three-headed dog at Halloween! That's where he was going when we saw him — he's after whatever it's guarding! And I'd bet my broomstick **_**he **_**let that troll in, to make a diversion!" Hermione's eyes were wide.**

A brick fell from the ceiling, which hit George, who was coming back in the room from getting a snack, in teh head, knocking him out. And, since the Twins are psychically linked, and because the author feels like it, Fred was knocked out too. Ron unfurled the note attached to the brick.

"The author would like to make a comment that Hermione does not have X-ray vision," he read aloud. His eyes widened as he understood and he turned to Hermione, who was blushing furiously.

They all had to duck as a wrecking ball flew into the room, hit James, and flew through the opposite wall.

"Sorry!" yelled TheBrick from outside. "Missed the fourth wall!"

"...Moving on from this...odd...thing...," Lily turned to Sirius, who was gaping at James, who had just gotten up without a scratch, like most video game characters do after getting up from being hit (the people from Mortal Kombat are exceptions).

Eventually (meaning after about fifteen minutes, during which James was snapping his fingers in front of Sirius' face) Sirius recovered enough to begin reading again.

"**No — he wouldn't," she said. "I know he's not very nice, but he wouldn't try and steal something Dumbledore was keeping safe."**

"You were right, Hermione," Ron admitted. "You might have been a condescending evil bastard git, but you were a condescending evil bastard git loyal to Dumbledore," he told Severus.

"**Honestly, Hermione, you think all teachers are saints or something," snapped Ron. "I'm with Harry. I wouldn't put anything past Snape. But what's he after? What's that dog guarding?" Harry went to bed with his head buzzing with the same question. Neville was snoring loudly, but Harry couldn't sleep. He tried to empty his mind — he needed to sleep, he had to, he had his first Quidditch match in a few hours — but the expression on Snape's face when Harry had seen his leg wasn't easy to forget. **

**The next morning dawned very bright and cold. The Great Hall was full of the delicious smell of fried sausages and the cheerful chatter of everyone looking forward to a good Quidditch match.**

"**You've got to eat some breakfast."**

"**I don't want anything."**

"**Just a bit of toast," wheedled Hermione.**

"**I'm not hungry."**

"Harry, you need to eat something," chided James.

**Harry felt terrible. In an hour's time he'd be walking onto the field.**

"**Harry, you need your strength," said Seamus Finnigan. "Seekers are always the ones who get clobbered by the other team."**

"**Thanks, Seamus," said Harry, watching Seamus pile ketchup on his sausages.**

**By eleven o'clock the whole school seemed to be out in the stands around the Quidditch pitch. Many students had binoculars. The seats might be raised high in the air, but it was still difficult to see what was going on sometimes.**

"If Quidditch is played in midair, and they're all looking up, how would it be hard to see?" Petunia asked.

"...Oversight of the author," Ron decided. Harry shifted in his seat.

**Ron and Hermione joined Neville, Seamus, and Dean the West Ham fan up in the top row. As a surprise for Harry, they had painted a large banner on one of the sheets Scabbers had ruined. It said **_**Potter for President, **_**and Dean, who was good at drawing, had done a large Gryffindor lion underneath. Then Hermione had performed a tricky little charm so that the paint flashed different colors.**

**Meanwhile, in the locker room, Harry and the rest of the team were changing into their scarlet Quidditch robes (Slytherin would be playing in green).**

**Wood cleared his throat for silence.**

"**Okay, men," he said.**

"Sexist!" Ginny hissed.

"**And women," said Chaser Angelina Johnson.**

"**And women," Wood agreed. **

"Better."

**"This is it."**

"**The big one," said Fred Weasley.**

"**The one we've all been waiting for," said George.**

"**We know Oliver's speech by heart," Fred told Harry, "we were on the team last year."**

"Yeah, James always did the same speech every year too," Padfoot told Harry. "Something about 'not wanting to jinx himself.'"

"**Shut up, you two," said Wood. "This is the best team Gryffindor's had in years. We're going to win. I know it."**

**He glared at them all as if to say, "Or else."**

"Harry, Wood's glares always mean "Or else," haven't you noticed?" one of the Twins, who had mysteriously recovered from having their heads bashed in, said.

"**Right. It's time. Good luck, all of you."**

**Harry followed Fred and George out of the locker room and, hoping his knees weren't going to give way, walked onto the field to loud cheers.**

**Madam Hooch was refereeing. She stood in the middle of the field waiting for the two teams, her broom in her hand.**

"**Now, I want a nice fair game, all of you," she said, once they were all gathered around her. Harry noticed that she seemed to be speaking particularly to the Slytherin Captain, Marcus Flint, a fifth year. **

"Slytherins have a habit of cheating," Ron told Severus, who had raised an eyebrow.

"Not in my time." He winced at James and Sirius' incredulous looks. "Okay, not as much."

**Harry thought Flint looked as if he had some troll blood in him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the fluttering banner high above, flashing **_**Potter for President **_**over the crowd. His heart skipped. He felt braver.**

"**Mount your brooms, please."**

**Harry clambered onto his Nimbus Two Thousand.**

**Madam Hooch gave a loud blast on her silver whistle.**

**Fifteen brooms rose up, high, high into the air. They were off.**

"**And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor — what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too —"**

"Lee always tried to hit on the Chasers," Fred told the others. "It didn't work too well."

"Wasn't it because you gave him goat horns that one time?" George asked his twin.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that."

"**JORDAN!"**

"**Sorry, Professor."**

**The Weasley twins' friend, Lee Jordan, was doing the commentary for the match, closely watched by Professor McGonagall.**

"**And she's really belting along up there, a neat pass to Alicia Spinnet, a good find of Oliver Wood's, last year only a reserve — back to Johnson and — no, the Slytherins have taken the Quaffle, Slytherin Captain Marcus Flint gains the Quaffle and off he goes — Flint flying like an eagle up there — he's going to sc- no, stopped by an excellent move by Gryffindor Keeper Wood and the Gryffindors take the Quaffle — that's Chaser Katie Bell of Gryffindor there, nice dive around Flint, off up the field and — OUCH — that must have hurt, hit in the back of the head by a Bludger — Quaffle taken by the Slytherins — that's Adrian Pucey speeding off toward the goal posts, but he's blocked by a second Bludger — sent his way by Fred or George Weasley, can't tell which — nice play by the Gryffindor Beater, anyway, and Johnson back in possession of the Quaffle, a clear field ahead and off she goes — she's really flying — dodges a speeding Bludger — the goal posts are ahead — come on, now, Angelina — Keeper Bletchley dives — misses — GRYFFINDORS SCORE!"**

"Well, he's better than Moony, I'll give him that," decided Padfoot.

"...It's because I didn't commentate in Gryffindor's favor, isn't it?"

"Yes! Now he understands! Give him a million Galleons!

**Gryffindor cheers filled the cold air, with howls and moans from the Slytherins.**

"**Budge up there, move along."**

"**Hagrid!"**

**Ron and Hermione squeezed together to give Hagrid enough space to join them.**

"**Bin watchin' from me hut," said Hagrid, patting a large pair of binoculars around his neck, "But it isn't the same as bein' in the crowd. **

"Not at all," muttered Ron. "I still remeber that one time I had to watch from the hospital wing because of detention."

**No sign of the Snitch yet, eh?"**

"**Nope," said Ron. "Harry hasn't had much to do yet."**

"**Kept outta trouble, though, that's somethin'," said Hagrid, raising his binoculars and peering skyward at the speck that was Harry. Way up above them, Harry was gliding over the game, squinting about for some sign of the Snitch. This was part of his and Wood's game plan.**

"**Keep out of the way until you catch sight of the Snitch," Wood had said. "We don't want you attacked before you have to be." **

"Pretty good plan," Lily remarked. Ron grimaced sourly.

"At least until you read about what happened next." Lily tried pestering him fro details, but Ron's lips were sealed.

**When Angelina had scored, Harry had done a couple of loop-the-loops to let off his feelings. Now he was back to staring around for the Snitch. Once he caught sight of a flash of gold, but it was just a reflection from one of the Weasleys' wristwatches, and once a Bludger decided to come pelting his way, more like a cannonball than anything, but Harry dodged it and Fred Weasley came chasing after it.**

"**All right there, Harry?" he had time to yell, as he beat the Bludger furiously toward Marcus Flint.**

"For now..." Ginny said ominously, glaring at Harry, who raised his hands in defense.

"That wasn't my fault! And why are you doing that, anyway?"

"Just to mess with you."

"**Slytherin in possession," Lee Jordan was saying, "Chaser Puceyducks two Bludgers, two Weasleys, and Chaser Bell, and speeds toward the — wait a moment — was that the Snitch?"**

"No, that was the Whomping Willow tap-dancing with an umbrella in midair," Severus said sarcastically.

**A murmur ran through the crowd as Adrian Pucey dropped the Quaffle, too busy looking over his shoulder at the flash of gold that had passed his left ear.**

**Harry saw it. In a great rush of excitement he dived downward after the streak of gold. Slytherin Seeker Terence Higgs had seen it, too. Neck and neck they hurtled toward the Snitch — all the Chasers seemed to have forgotten what they were supposed to be doing as they hung in midair to watch. Harry was faster than Higgs — he could see the little round ball, wings fluttering, darting up ahead — he put on an extra spurt of speed —**

**WHAM! A roar of rage echoed from the Gryffindors below — Marcus Flint had blocked Harry on purpose, and Harry's broom spun off course, Harry holding on for dear life.**

"Was that what you were talking about? Lily asked Ron tiredly.

"No, that's later. But why aren't you getting mad at him?"

"Because there's no point at getting mad about something stupid that happened in the past when there's stupider stuff in the present."

"**Foul!" screamed the Gryffindors.**

**Madam Hooch spoke angrily to Flint and then ordered a free shot at the goal posts for Gryffindor. But in all the confusion, of course, the Golden Snitch had disappeared from sight again. Down in the stands, Dean Thomas was yelling, "Send him off, ref! Red card!"**

A simultaneous "What?" echoed around the room.

"**What are you talking about, Dean?" said Ron.**

Ron looked proud that everyone was beginning to think like him. The others looked horrified that they were beginning to think like Ron.

"**Red card!" said Dean furiously. "In soccer you get shown the red card and you're out of the game!"**

"**But this isn't soccer, Dean," Ron reminded him.**

**Hagrid, however, was on Dean's side.**

"**They oughta change the rules. Flint coulda knocked Harry outta the air."**

**Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.**

"So would I," said Remus.

"**So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —"**

"**Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.**

"**I mean, after that open and revolting foul —"**

"Gotta love 'im" said George. "He tells the truth, unlike the Ministers. He'd be a great Ministers," added his twin.

"_**Jordan, I'm warning you **_**—"**

"**All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinnet, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession."**

**It was as Harry dodged another Bludger, which went spinning dangerously past his head, that it happened. His broom gave a sudden,frightening lurch. For a split second, he thought he was going to fall. He gripped the broom tightly with both his hands and knees. He'd never felt anything like that. It happened again. It was as though the broom was trying to buck him off. But Nimbus Two Thousands did not suddenly decide to buck their riders off. Harry tried to turn back toward the Gryffindor goal posts — he had half a mind to ask Wood to call time-out — and then he realized that his broom was completely out of his control. He couldn't turn it. He couldn't direct it at all. It was zigzagging through the air, and every now and then making violent swishing movements that almost unseated him.**

"Black magic!"

"What?"

"I mean, Dark Magic!"

Petunia was still staring at Sirius suspiciously for his terrible pun, even as he continued reading.

**Lee was still commentating.**

"**Slytherin in possession — Flint with the Quaffle — passes Spinnet — passes Bell — hit hard in the face by a Bludger, hope it broke his nose **

"Please..." Sirius clasped his hands together in prayer.

**— only joking, Professor **

"Damn."

**— Slytherins score — oh no . . ."**

**The Slytherins were cheering. No one seemed to have noticed that Harry's broom was behaving strangely. It was carrying him slowly higher, away from the game, jerking and twitching as it went.**

"**Dunno what Harry thinks he's doing," Hagrid mumbled. He stared through his binoculars. "If I didn' know better, I'd say he'd lost control of his broom . . . but he can't have. . . ."**

"I repeat, Bla - I mean, Dark Magic!"

"Sirius, shut up."

**Suddenly, people were pointing up at Harry all over the stands. His broom had started to roll over and over, with him only just managing to hold on. Then the whole crowd gasped. Harry's broom had given a wild jerk and Harry swung off it. He was now dangling from it, holding on with only one hand.**

"**Did something happen to it when Flint blocked him?" Seamus whispered.**

"I'd try to hide my eyes, but I'm not seeing anything," Lily muttered. James nodded in agreement.

"**Can't have," Hagrid said, his voice shaking. "Can't nothing interfere with a broomstick except powerful Dark magic **

"Told you."

"Sirius, silence is golden, duct tape is silver. Take your pick."

**— no kid could do that to a Nimbus Two Thousand." At these words, Hermione seized Hagrid's binoculars, but instead of looking up at Harry, she started looking frantically at the crowd.**

"**What are you doing?" moaned Ron, gray-faced.**

"**I knew it," Hermione gasped, "Snape — look."**

"It wasn't him," said Harry in response to Lily's glare at said person.

**Ron grabbed the binoculars. Snape was in the middle of the stands opposite them. He had his eyes fixed on Harry and was muttering nonstop under his breath.**

"**He's doing something — jinxing the broom," said Hermione.**

"Or unjinxing it," Ron added.

"**What should we do?"**

"**Leave it to me."**

"Or, leave it to beaver!"

"Shut up Fred."

"Shut up, George."

**Before Ron could say another word, Hermione had disappeared. Ron turned the binoculars back on Harry. His broom was vibrating so hard, it was almost impossible for him to hang on much longer. **

"I'm still wondering how you held on for that long," Ron mused.

**The whole crowd was on its feet, watching, terrified, as the Weasleys flew up to try and pull Harry safely onto one of their brooms, but it was no good — every time they got near him, the broom would jump higher still. They dropped lower and circled beneath him, obviously hoping to catch him if he fell. Marcus Flint seized the Quaffle and scored five times without anyone noticing.**

"Cheater!"

"...Um, James, he technicall wasn't cheating," said Remus.

"He cheated in honor!" James replied hotly. "Never attack when your opponent's back is turned is an important part of honor!"

"Like all the times you attacked me from behind?" Severus deadpanned.

"I'll shut up now."

"Please do."

"**Come on, Hermione," Ron muttered desperately.**

**Hermione had fought her way across to the stand where Snape stood, and was now racing along the row behind him; she didn't even stop to say sorry as she knocked Professor Quirrell headfirst into the row in front. Reaching Snape, she crouched down, pulled out her wand, and whispered a few, well-chosen words. **

"You mean like swear words? I never figured you for the swearing type, Hermione."

"Shut up, Harry."

**Bright blue flames shot from her wand onto the hem of Snape's robes.**

**It took perhaps thirty seconds for Snape to realize that he was on fire. A sudden yelp told her she had done her job. Scooping the fire off him into a little jar in her pocket, she scrambled back along the row — Snape would never know what had happened. It was enough. Up in the air, Harry was suddenly able to clamber back on to his broom.**

"All thanks to Hermione!" Ginny smiled. "I still have to thank you for that. Thank you."

"**Neville, you can look!" Ron said. Neville had been sobbing into Hagrid's jacket for the last five minutes.**

**Harry was speeding toward the ground when the crowd saw him clap his hand to his mouth as though he was about to be sick — he hit the field on all fours — coughed — and something gold fell ****into his hand.**

"...Ew..." groaned Hermione, Ginny, Lily, and Petunia.

"**I've got the Snitch!" he shouted, waving it above his head, and the game ended in complete confusion.**

"Well, James, your son just did something you've never done in seven years of playing Quidditch," sadi Padfoot.

"...Shut up, Paddy."

"Don't call me that."

"**He didn't **_**catch **_**it, he nearly **_**swallowed **_**it," Flint was still howling twenty minutes later, but it made no difference — Harry hadn't broken any rules and Lee Jordan was still happily shouting the results — Gryffindor had won by one hundred and seventy points to sixty. Harry heard none of this, though. He was being made a cup of strong tea back in Hagrid's hut, with Ron and Hermione.**

"**It was Snape," Ron was explaining, "Hermione and I saw him. He was cursing your broomstick, muttering, he wouldn't take his eyes off you."**

"No, you were unjinxing it," Ginny told Severus.

"**Rubbish," said Hagrid, who hadn't heard a word of what had gone on next to him in the stands. "Why would Snape do somethin' like that?"**

"Because he has a crush on Dumbledore." People started slowly moving away from Padfoot.

**Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at one another, wondering what to tell him. Harry decided on the truth.**

"**I found out something about him," he told Hagrid. "He tried to get past that three-headed dog on Halloween. It bit him. We think he was trying to steal whatever it's guarding."**

**Hagrid dropped the teapot.**

"Great, Harry. Just drop the atom bomb on him while you're at it, it won't do too much more damage then you just did."

"**How do you know about Fluffy?" he said.**

"_**Fluffy**_**?"**

"See a couple of chapters ago for my last explanation of Hagrid's naming."

They all had to duck again as another wrecking ball flew through the fourth wall.

"Sorry!" TheBrick yelled again.

"**Yeah — he's mine — bought him off a Greek chappie I met in the pub las' year — I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the —"**

"**Yes?" said Harry eagerly.**

"**Now, don't ask me anymore," said Hagrid gruffly. "That's top secret, that is."**

"I love Hagrid and all, but he's easy to get information from, if you know how to do it," said James.

"**But Snape's trying to **_**steal **_**it."**

"**Rubbish," said Hagrid again. "Snape's a Hogwarts teacher, he'd do nothin' of the sort."**

"What about Professor (bleep)?" asked Ginny.

"...Did you just make a bleep to censor yourself?" Hermione asked her.

"Wow, I think I did." They had to duck for a thrid time, as TheBrick missed what was now a small pile of shattered concrete with his favorite wrecking ball. "Sorry!"

"**So why did he just try and kill Harry?" cried Hermione.**

**The afternoon's events certainly seemed to have changed her mind about Snape.**

"**I know a jinx when I see one, Hagrid, I've read all about them! You've got to keep eye contact, and Snape wasn't blinking at all, I saw him!"**

"Same goes for an unjinx."

"**I'm tellin' yeh, yer wrong!" said Hagrid hotly. "I don' know why Harry's broom acted like that, but Snape wouldn' try an' kill a student! Now, listen to me, all three of yeh — yer meddlin' in things that don' concern yeh. It's dangerous. You forget that dog, an' you forget what it's guardin', that's between Professor Dumbledore an' Nicolas Flamel —"**

"Told you," James muttered. "I love him and all, but he's terrible at keeping secrets."

"**Aha!" said Harry, "so there's someone called Nicolas Flamel involved, is there?"**

**Hagrid looked furious with himself.**

* * *

**Just so you all know, in a couple of days, this fic will be known as 'A Past and Future Secret', just cause that sounds so much more epic than this fic actually is, and because I feel like it. Mostly the last part. It's my story, so I'll do whatever I want (within reason, of course).**


	13. Chapter 13: Gaiden

**I've got good news, and I've got bad news. I finally found my book, which means updates again. But, school starts in a few weeks, so updates will slow down even more. However, I will try to update at least once before school starts again in a few weeks. So, here's an update about a side event to tide you over until then, even though it's short. Anyone who just wants to read about the group's comments, skip to the next chapter (when it's uploaded, of course). For those of you confused about the title, gaiden means 'side story.'**

* * *

Harry yawned and raised his head from the pillow. The last week had been extremely exhausting for him and Ginny; having ten extra mouths to feed put them both through the ringer. And it didn't exactly help that two of those mouths were the infamous Weasley Twins, and another five were members of the Marauders.

Harry gazed at his beloved wife, who was lying next to him in bed. Ginny had taken the news that her twin brothers were alive and whole again exceedingly well. She had been a lot happier than she had been since Fred had died in that battle a few years ago, even humming a jaunty tune to herself when she cooked with Hermione and Lily.

Speaking of those two, Harry could hear them now; they were both banging about the kitchen, chattering to each other about various things.

" – and then, James tried to cast a hovering charm on himself, but he accidentally pointed his wand at his legs, so he was hanging upside-down!" Lily was saying over Hermione's raucous laughter.

Harry heard a groan from the bedroom next to his, and suppressed a chuckle. His father would not be happy if he heard what the women were talking about.

"WHAT THE HELL?" James roared, fate's tempting being answered.

Harry chuckled. That was their cover blown. He heard furious stomping from the stairs going into the kitchen, and Sirius roaring with laughter from upstairs.

"Whuzzgoinon…" Ginny mumbled from beside him.

"Nothing, dear, it's just James and Sirius being James and Sirius," Harry mumbled back. Ginny grunted something in response and rolled over, falling back asleep instantly. Harry smiled. Ginny was not a morning person by any definition of the word.

* * *

"Oh…God…" Sirius gasped when he came up from where he'd landed on the floor from laughing, "James…Severus…Bwahahahaha!"

"What?" George asked eagerly. "What'd they do?"

"Oh, nothing…" said Sirius mysteriously.

"They did something. Now tell us what they did!" Fred whined.

"First, you've gotta promise you will never, _ever_ tell James I'm telling you this," spoke Sirius.

"Fine, whatever, just tell us!" said the Twins in union.

"Okay then. It was our third year, and James was trying to get Lily's attention once again…"

"How often did he try to get Lily's attention, anyway?" asked George.

"About once every hour, sometimes two or three. Now, do you really want to know what happened, or do you want to ask questions, stopping you from knowing what happened?"

"We want to know what happened!"

Sirius smirked. "Okay, so James was trying to impress Lily, as usual, when…"

* * *

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" the Twins roared from downstairs. Severus groaned and sat up in bed, muttering to himself.

"Why do I have to be surrounded by morons? Why can't James be in my place?" His mutterings were interrupted when someone knocked at the door to his room.

"Severus?" Moony asked through the door. "You might want to know why they're laughing."

"…Alright. So, why are they laughing?"

"Come out here."

Severus groaned. He swung his feet out of the bed and padded to the door, thoughts whirling. 'No, they couldn't know…could they?"

When Severus opened his door, Moony was standing there, tapping his feet.

"Okay," Severus sighed, "why are they laughing?"

Moony beckoned the younger man forward and whispered something into his ear. Severus' eyes widened.

"…Fuck…"

* * *

Padfoot sat up in bed, tiredly rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Why must there be so much noise? Does everyone want to interrupt my beauty sleep or something?"

"Padfoot, you up?" Petunia asked through his door.

"No, I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm still sleeping, what else would I be doing?" he answered sarcastically.

"Well, there's something that my sister told me to tell you about James," Petunia answered. Padfoot perked up.

"Blackmail? Yes!"

Petunia was confused by Padfoot's random outburst, but she carried on talking anyway. "If you come out here, then I can tell you what it is."

Padfoot was in front of her when she blinked. "Tell me, tell me!"

"Okay…" And she told him. Padfoot let out a loud, barklike laugh.

"Oh yeah, that! I totally forgot about that!" he laughed, wiping a tear from his eye. "Ah, memories… But, I can tell you what **really** happened."

"Fine then, shoot."

Padfoot pretended to load a finger gun, and pointed it at her. "Bang."

Petunia rolled her eyes. "Tell me, or you will never see Mr. Bubbles again."

"NOOOOO!"

"Then tell me."

"Fine… So, this is what happened…"

They were silent for a moment. "Are you going to tell me what happened, or will Mr. Bubbles have to meet fire?"

"NO! I was just waiting for the author to have a scene cut."

"CUT THE SCENE, AUTHOR!" yelled Petunia after a moment's pause.

* * *

Ron threw a pillow at the source of the loud noise (his alarm clock), rolled over, and fell asleep again.

* * *

James stormed into the kitchen. "Alright, Lily, why're you telling her about _that_?"

Lily giggled. "I have no idea what the _that_ you're speaking about is."

James rolled his eyes sarcastically. "_Sure_ you don't. Meanwhile, I'm going to go coat myself with honey, griffin feathers, and unicorn horns, and try to make myself commit suicide with them, because that will make just about as much sense."

"Sure it will, dear, sure it will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Hermione yelled loudly enough to almost break through the house's soundproof charm. James and Lily shut up immediately. "Thank you."

* * *

Ron didn't even stir from the incredibly loud noise that had just filled every corner of Grimmald Place.

* * *

When everyone other than Ron had arrived in the kitchen, James was fuming with anger, and Severus was flushed from embarrassment, from the fact that everyone else there knew why they were all laughing. "Why…"

"Because everyone else here is a jackass, that's why," James muttered back. "Now listen, I've got a plan to get back at them. We're going to need some dirt on each of them, though."

"Why should I go through with your plan, considering how the one in the…incident went?"

"Because we're going to embarrass each of them as much as they've embarrassed us."

Severus was quiet for a moment, mulling the plan over in his head. Then, finally, he reached a decision, and stuck his hand out. "Deal." They shook hands, and the partnership between James Potter and Severus Snape to get back at the others was formed. They each allowed an evil smile to creep onto each of their faces in anticipation.

* * *

"Who's first?" asked James. Severus consulted the clipboard in his hands before responding with: "Ron."

James was confused. "Why Ron?"

"Because he's still asleep, so it'll be easy to get some dirt on him without him knowing," Severus replied with an eyeroll.

James allowed another evil grin for himself. "Excellent…"

He was interrupted, though, when the door to the kitchen opened and Ron stumbled in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Wha's all th' noise for?" he asked with a yawn.

"Well…" Hermione answered with a giggle. She motioned him over, and began whispering into his ear. By the time she had finished, he was roaring with laughter.

James and Severus sighed. "Not excellent anymore…"

* * *

**Can anyone guess what happened between James, Lily, and Severus in their third year? By the way, I need some ideas about the blackmail stuff; I've only got a few right now.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm back, with yet another chapter! And it's another reading one, dedicated to V.L. Crawford, who took the time to review every single chapter of this thing. And, as to your question, all will be revealed...when I get around to it. Also, don't worry, Sabaku no Sable, your suggestions will be used in the next chapter. I have everything planned out...(checks piece of paper, which has a bunch of random scribbles on it) ...Um...anyways, enjoy! **

**

* * *

**

James and Severus were still muttering to each other as the group gathered back together in the drawing room of Number Twelve. Ron, on the other hand, was laughing his head off at the two of them.

"You...James...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" he howled.

"Can we just forget about that and move on?" asked Severus angrily.

"Hilarity ensues," said Harry as everyone was reminded of exactly what 'that' was.

**(Ten minutes later)**

The group had finally managed to calm down enough to begin reading again, and Harry handed the book to Moony so he could read it.

"**Chapter Twelve: The Mirror of Erised.**"

Ron nudged Harry's side. "Remember that?"

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes. "Not again, Ron..."

**Christmas was coming. One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban. **

"You two didn't deserve that," Harry said to the Twins. "He had everything coming."

"Um, thanks, we guess."

**The few owls that managed to battle their way through the stormy sky to deliver mail had to be nursed back to health by Hagrid before they could fly off again.**

**No one could wait for the holidays to start. While the Gryffindor common room and the Great Hall had roaring fires, the drafty corridors had become icy and a bitter wind rattled the windows in the classrooms. Worst of all were Professor Snape's classes down in the dungeons, where their breath rose in a mist before them and they kept as close as possible to their hot cauldrons.**

"What?" asked Severus when everyone looked at him, "it's good for the potions!"

"**I do feel so sorry," said Draco Malfoy, one Potions class, "for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they're not wanted at home."**

"Fuck you, Malfoy. Fuck you."

**He was looking over at Harry as he spoke. **

"How did I know he was talking to Harry?" asked Severus with an eyeroll.

**Crabbe and Goyle chuckled. Harry, who was measuring out powdered spine of lionfish, ignored them. **

"Good boy, Harry," said Lily. "Malfoys tend to be difficult to ignore from how stupid they can act."

**Malfoy had been even more unpleasant than usual since the Quidditch match. Disgusted that the Slytherins had lost, he had tried to get everyone laughing at how a wide-mouthed tree frog would be replacing Harry as Seeker next. Then he'd realized that nobody found this funny, because they were all so impressed at the way Harry had managed to stay on his bucking broomstick. So Malfoy, jealous and angry, had gone back to taunting Harry about having no proper family.**

"Malfoy, heroes are born, not made. If you want to be a hero, then act like one."

**It was true that Harry wasn't going back to Privet Drive for Christmas. **

"Who would?" asked Harry. "No offense," he added to Petunia.

"None taken," she replied. "I hate that version of me too."

**Professor McGonagall had come around the week before, making a list of students who would be staying for the holidays, and Harry had signed up at once. He didn't feel sorry for himself at all; this would probably be the best Christmas he'd ever had. **

"That's actually kind of pathetic," Severus remarked. When James glared at him, he elaborated: "When you consider that Dudley got everything he ever wanted, and left all the stuff he didn't want to Harry."

**Ron and his brothers were staying, too, because Mr. and were going to Romania to visit Charlie.**

**When they left the dungeons at the end of Potions, they found a large fir tree blocking the corridor ahead. Two enormous feet sticking out at the bottom and a loud puffing sound told them that Hagrid was behind it.**

"**Hi, Hagrid, want any help?" Ron asked, sticking his head through the branches.**

"...That could be taken a way that is so wrong it's not even funny..."

"**Nah, I'm all right, thanks, Ron."**

"**Would you mind moving out of the way?" came Malfoy's cold drawl from behind them. "Are you trying to earn some extra money, Weasley? Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogwarts, I suppose — that hut of Hagrid's must seem like a palace compared to what your family's used to."**

"Yet again, blatent rudeness," sighed Remus, "In front of a staff member, no less."

**Ron dived at Malfoy **

"Shouldn't it be 'dove'?"

"Don't question the ways of the author."

**just as Snape came up the stairs.**

"**WEASLEY!"**

**Ron let go of the front of Malfoy's robes.**

"**He was provoked, Professor Snape," said Hagrid, sticking his huge hairy face out from behind the tree. "Malfoy was insultin' his family."**

"**Be that as it may, fighting is against Hogwarts rules, Hagrid," said Snape silkily. "Five points from Gryffindor, Weasley, and be grateful it isn't more. Move along, all of you."**

"Of course, favoritism," snorted George. "Can't be around Snapey without it." He missed the hurt look Severus gave him for that.

**Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle pushed roughly past the tree, scattering needles everywhere and smirking.**

"**I'll get him," said Ron, grinding his teeth at Malfoy's back, "one of these days, I'll get him —"**

"Yeah, flipping him off can only go so far," added Sirius.

"**I hate them both," said Harry, "Malfoy and Snape."**

"It's not hard," sighed Severus.

"**Come on, cheer up, it's nearly Christmas," said Hagrid. "Tell yeh what, come with me an' see the Great Hall, looks a treat."**

"It always does around the holidays," sighed Ginny wistfully.

**So the three of them followed Hagrid and his tree off to the Great Hall, where Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were busy with the Christmas decorations.**

"**Ah, Hagrid, the last tree — put it in the far corner, would you?"**

**The hall looked spectacular. Festoons **

"What?"

"I think it means bunches, Sirius."

**of holly and mistletoe hung all around the walls, and no less than twelve towering Christmas trees stood around the room, some sparkling with tiny icicles, some glittering with hundreds of candles.**

"Sounds like..." said Sirius, trailing off.

"Awesome?" suggested his older counterpart.

"Yeah, that thing."

"**How many days you got left until yer holidays?" Hagrid asked. **

"**Just one," said Hermione. "And that reminds me — Harry, ****Ron, we've got half an hour before lunch, we should be in the library."**

"Why would you need to be in the library at Christmas?" asked Moony. "Not that I'm not encouraging it, but you and Ron don't seem the type to do that kind of thing."

"Yeah, that sounds more like Lily, Hermione, and you, Moony," added Fred.

"As our author seems to be found of saying, 'all will be revealed...when I get around to it,'" stated James.

"**Oh yeah, you're right," said Ron, tearing his eyes away from Professor Flitwick, who had golden bubbles blossoming out of his wand and was trailing them over the branches of the new tree.**

"**The library?" said Hagrid, following them out of the hall. "Just before the holidays? Bit keen, aren't yeh?"**

"**Oh, we're not working," Harry told him brightly. "Ever since you mentioned Nicolas Flamel we've been trying to find out who he is."**

"All has been revealed, you can go back to your lives now."

"**You **_**what**_**?" Hagrid looked shocked. "Listen here — I've told yeh — drop it. It's nothin' to you what that dog's guardin'."**

"Or is it?" asked Hermione mysteriously.

"**We just want to know who Nicolas Flamel is, that's all," said Hermione.**

"**Unless you'd like to tell us and save us the trouble?" Harry added. "We must've been through hundreds of books already and we can't find him anywhere — just give us a hint — I know I've read his name somewhere."**

"**I'm sayin' nothin'," said Hagrid flatly.**

"You just said something," Moony pointed out.

"**Just have to find out for ourselves, then," said Ron, and they left Hagrid looking disgruntled and hurried off to the library.**

**They had indeed been searching books for Flamel's name ever since Hagrid had let it slip, because how else were they going to find out what Snape was trying to steal? The trouble was, it was very hard to know where to begin, not knowing what Flamel might have done to get himself into a book. He wasn't in **_**Great Wizards of **__**the Twentieth Century, **_**or **_**Notable Magical Names of Our Time**_**; he was missing, too, from **_**Important Modern Magical Discoveries, **_**and **_**A Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry. **_

Lily sighed. "You idiots. If Nicholas Flamel is an old friend of Dumbledore's, would that mean he's recent?"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sweatdropped. "We...didn't think of that."

**And then, of course, there was the sheer size of the library; tens of thousands of books; thousands of shelves; hundreds of narrow rows.**

**Hermione took out a list of subjects and titles she had decided to search while Ron strode off down a row of books and started pulling them off the shelves at random. **

"That's actually not a bad way to look. It's better than looking for recent things, anyway."

**Harry wandered over to the Restricted Section. He had been wondering for a while if Flamel wasn't somewhere in there. Unfortunately, you needed a specially signed note from one of the teachers to look in any of the restricted books, and he knew he'd never get one. **

"Remember second year?" asked Ron, nudging Hermione. "You and getting that note? _Lockhart?_"

Hermione blushed. "Shut up, Ron."

"Make me."

She did. By way of mouth, if you know what I mean... (*wiggles eyebrows suggestively*) Nah, she just started making out with him.

**These were the books containing powerful Dark Magic never taught at Hogwarts, and only read by older students studying advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts.**

"**What are you looking for, boy?"**

"**Nothing," said Harry.**

James, Sirius, and the Twins rolled their eyes. "Smooth, Harry."

**Madam Pince the librarian brandished a feather duster at him.**

"**You'd better get out, then. Go on — out!"**

**Wishing he'd been a bit quicker at thinking up some story, **

"Brilliant, Sherlock. What's next, finding out breathing keeps you alive?"

**Harry left the library. He, Ron, and Hermione had already agreed they'd better not ask Madam Pince where they could find Flamel. They were sure she'd be able to tell them, but they couldn't risk Snape hearing what they were up to.**

"I already found out about four years before you were born, if this story was canon," Severus said dully.

**Harry waited outside in the corridor to see if the other two had found anything, but he wasn't very hopeful. They had been looking for two weeks, after all, but as they only had odd moments between lessons it wasn't surprising they'd found nothing. What they really needed was a nice long search without Madam Pince breathing down their necks. **

"That will never happen, unles a convinient meteor happens to hit her," commented Fred. "When in doubt, hit something with a big rock."

**Five minutes later, Ron and Hermione joined him, shaking their heads. They went off to lunch.**

"**You will keep looking while I'm away, won't you?" said Hermione. "And send me an owl if you find anything."**

"**And you could ask your parents if they know who Flamel is," said Ron. "It'd be safe to ask them."**

**"Very safe, as they're both dentists," said Hermione.**

"Yes, I'd have to say that's safe, Hermione," remarked Lily. "Unless Voldemort happens to get to them and question them."

"Why is everyone being so sarcastic this chapter?" shrieked Ron.

"That's the way of TheBrick, our God," replied Padfoot.

"What was that a few chapters ago with you and our book, anyway?" asked Lily suspiciously.

Padfoot was silent. "...Temporary insanity?" The others just shrugged and accepted it.

**Once the holidays had started, Ron and Harry were having too good a time to think much about Flamel. They had the dormitory to themselves and the common room was far emptier than usual, so they were able to get the good armchairs by the fire. They sat by the hour eating anything they could spear on a toasting fork — bread, English muffins, marshmallows **

"Hotdogs?" asked Sirius innocently.

"Yes, Sirius, hotdo-dude!" Sirius started pounding the floor from laughing so hard, while Remus glared at him angrily.

**— and plotting ways of getting ****Malfoy expelled, which were fun to talk about even if they wouldn't work.**

"They were very fun," Harry remarked. "One involved setting a female troll in heat on him."

"Then I had to tell him that we wouldn't be able to get it in here," sighed Ron. "Still, it _was_ a good plan."

**Ron also started teaching Harry wizard chess. This was exactly like Muggle chess except that the figures w****ere alive, which made it a lot like directing troops in battle. Ron's set was very old and battered. Like everything else he owned, it had once belonged to someone else in his family — in this case, his grandfather. ****However, old chessmen weren't a drawback at all. Ron knew them so well he never had trouble getting them to do what he wanted.**

"_Now_ he doesn't," said Ginny. "I remember when he first got them, they wouldn't even listen to him at all!"

"Shut up Ginny."

**Harry played with chessmen Seamus Finnigan had lent him, and they didn't trust him at all. He wasn't a very good player yet and they kept shouting different bits of advice at him, which was ****confusing. "Don't send me there, can't you see his knight? Send _him, _we can afford to lose _him._"**

"Self-preservation tactics," Petunia remarked.

**On Christmas Eve, Harry went to bed looking forward to the next day for the food and the fun, but not expecting any presents at all. **

Ron sighed. "I just had to go and tell Mum about Harry not expecting presents, didn't I?"

Harry patted him on the back. "Thanks, mate. Those were still the best presents I had ever gotten at that point."

"Aw," cooed Lily. Ron and Harry blushed.

**When he woke early in the morning, however, the first thing he saw was a small pile of packages at the foot of his bed.**

"**Merry Christmas," said Ron sleepily as Harry scrambled out of bed and pulled on his bathrobe.**

"**You, too," said Harry. "Will you look at this? I've got some presents!"**

"Nooo, really? God, you're being the M.O.B. this chapter," remarked Petunia.

"M.O.B.?"

"Master of the Obvious."

"**What did you expect, turnips?" said Ron, turning to his own pile, which was a lot bigger than Harry's.**

**Harry picked up the top parcel. It was wrapped in thick brown paper and scrawled across it was To Harry, from Hagrid. Inside was a roughly cut wooden flute. Hagrid had obviously whittled it himself. Harry blew it — it sounded a bit like an owl.**

**A second, very small parcel contained a note.**

_**We received your message and enclose your Christmas present. From Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. **_**Taped to the note was a fifty-pence piece.**

"Wow. Just wow," remarked Remus sarcastically. "I never knew how much they cared about you, to actually _spend_ money on you."

"**That's friendly," said Harry.**

**Ron was fascinated by the fifty pence.**

"_**Weird**_**!" he said, "What a shape! This is **_**money**_**?"**

"Dad has a Mini-Me!" cheered George. "Ron, why don't you have a Mini-Me?"

"...Shut up..."

"**You can keep it," said Harry, laughing at how pleased Ron was.**

"**Hagrid and my aunt and uncle — so who sent these?"**

"**I think I know who that one's from," said Ron, turning a bit pink and pointing to a very lumpy parcel. "My mom. I told her you didn't expect any presents and — oh, no," he groaned, "she's made you a Weasley sweater."**

"Typical of Molly," sighed Sirius. "She always was one of the nicest people you'll ever meet."

**Harry had torn open the parcel to find a thick, hand-knitted sweater in emerald green and a large box of homemade fudge.**

"**Every year she makes us a sweater," said Ron, unwrapping his own, "and mine's **_**always **_**maroon."**

"Why haven't you told her otherwise, Ron? Do you like maroon?" asked Fred suggestively.

"...Shut up..."

"**That's really nice of her," said Harry, trying the fudge, which was very tasty.**

"Of course it's tasty, everything she makes is tasty! She's like a cooking god or something!"

**His next present also contained candy — a large box of Chocolate Frogs from Hermione.**

**This only left one parcel. Harry picked it up and felt it. It was very light. He unwrapped it.**

**Something fluid and silvery gray went slithering to the floor where it lay in gleaming folds. Ron gasped.**

"Is that what I think it is?" asked James.

"Yes, James, yes it is," Moony replied.

"**I've heard of those," he said in a hushed voice, dropping the box of Every Flavor Beans he'd gotten from Hermione. "If that's what I think it is — they're really rare, and **_**really **_**valuable."**

"**What is it?"**

**Harry picked the shining, silvery cloth off the floor. It was strange to the touch, like water woven into material.**

"**It's an Invisibility Cloak," said Ron, a look of awe on his face. "I'm sure it is — try it on."**

Severus glared at James. "So that's how you did _that_! You used an Invisibility Cloak!"

"Guilty!"

**Harry threw the cloak around his shoulders and Ron gave a yell. "It **_**is**_**! Look down!"**

**Harry looked down at his feet, but they were gone. He dashed to the mirror. Sure enough, his reflection looked back at him, just his head suspended in midair, his body completely invisible. He pulled the cloak over his head and his reflection vanished completely.**

"**There's a note!" said Ron suddenly. "A note fell out of it!"**

**Harry pulled off the cloak and seized the letter. Written in narrow, loopy writing he had never seen before were the following words: **

**Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you.**

**Use it well.**

**A Very Merry Christmas to you.**

**There was no signature. **

"Ten bucks says it was from Dumbledore," Ginny said dully. Harry grinned widely.

**Harry stared at the note. Ron was admiring the cloak.**

"**I'd give **_**anything **_**for one of these," he said. "**_**Anything. **_**What's the matter?"**

"**Nothing," said Harry. He felt very strange. Who had sent the cloak? Had it really once belonged to his father? Before he could say or think anything else, the dormitory door was flung open and Fred and George Weasley bounded in. Harry stuffed the cloak quickly out of sight. He didn't feel like sharing it with anyone else yet.**

"You wound us, Harry!" the Twins cried. "Think of what we could have done with an Invisibility Cloak!"

"I did, and that's why I hid it," Harry replied. "You two should stick to making Headless Hats."

"**Merry Christmas!"**

"**Hey, look — Harry's got a Weasley sweater, too!"**

**Fred and George were wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow F on it, the other a G.**

"**Harry's is better than ours, though," said Fred, holding up Harry's sweater. "She obviously makes more of an effort if you're not family."**

"**Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demanded. "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."**

"**I hate maroon," Ron moaned halfheartedly as he pulled it over his head.**

"You like maroon," stated Fred. "You like it so much you would wear it everyday for the rest of your life and afterlife if you could."

"**You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid — we know we're called Gred and Forge."**

The Twins grinned to themselves as the rest of the room erupted in laughter. They never forgot something they could use to further their 'careers.'

"**What's all this noise?"**

**Percy Weasley stuck his head through the door, looking disapproving. He had clearly gotten halfway through unwrapping his presents as he, too, carried a lumpy sweater over his arm, which Fred seized.**

"**P for prefect! Get it on, Percy, come on, we're all wearing ours, even Harry got one."**

"**I — don't — want —" said Percy thickly, as the twins forced the sweater over his head, knocking his glasses askew.**

"**And you're not sitting with the prefects today, either," said George. "Christmas is a time for family."**

**They frog-marched Percy from the room, his arms pinned to his side by his sweater.**

"You should have seen Percy's face when we got to the House Tables!" laughed George. "He looked like he had just swallowed hippogriff crap!"

**Harry had never in all his life had such a Christmas dinner. A hundred fat, roast turkeys; mountains of roast and boiled potatoes; platters of chipolatas; tureens of buttered peas, silver boats of thick, rich gravy and cranberry sauce — and stacks of wizard crackers every few feet along the table. These fantastic party favors were nothing like the feeble Muggle ones the Dursleys usually bought, with their little plastic toys and their flimsy paper hats inside. **

"Wow...Lame!"

**Harry pulled a wizard cracker with Fred and it didn't just bang, it went off with a blast like a cannon and engulfed them all in a cloud of blue smoke, while from the inside exploded a rear admiral's hatand several live, white mice. Up at the High Table, Dumbledore had swapped his pointed wizard's hat for a flowered bonnet, and was chuckling merrily at a joke Professor Flitwick had just read him. Flaming Christmas puddings followed the turkey. Percy nearly broke his teeth on a silver Sickle embedded in his slice. **

Ron swore loudly. "Lucky!"

**Harry watched Hagrid getting redder and redder in the face as he called for more wine, finally kissing Professor McGonagall on the cheek, who, to Harry's amazement, giggled and blushed, her top hat lopsided. **

"They're both drunk," sighed Petunia. "Can anyone imagine their kids, or do I have to show you?" A chorus of "nope"s, "ew"s, and "not on your life"s echoed back to her.

**When Harry finally left the table, he was laden down with a stack of things out of the crackers, including a pack of nonexplodable, luminous balloons, a Grow-Your-Own-Warts kit, and his own new wizard chess set. The white mice had disappeared and Harry had a nasty feeling they were going to end up as Mrs. Norris's Christmas dinner.**

"All except for one," said George. "We put it in Patricia Sempkin's bed, remember Fred?"

**Harry and the Weasleys spent a happy afternoon having a furious snowball fight on the grounds. Then, cold, wet, and gasping for breath, they returned to the fire in the Gryffindor common room, where Harry broke in his new chess set by losing spectacularly to Ron. He suspected he wouldn't have lost so badly if Percy hadn't tried to help him so much.**

"And have you learned from that experience, Harry?" asked Fred.

**After a meal of turkey sandwiches, crumpets, trifle, and Christmas cake, everyone felt too full and sleepy to do much before bed except sit and watch Percy chase Fred and George all over Gryffindor Tower because they'd stolen his prefect badge. **

"I saw what you did with that when you finally got rid of him!" exclaimed Ron.

"Why, what did they do to his badge?" asked Lily.

"We made the badge more truthful," stated Fred. "Instead of Head Boy, we put Mama's Boy."

**It had been Harry's best Christmas day ever. Yet something had been nagging at the back of his mind all day. Not until he climbed into bed was he free to think about it: the Invisibility Cloak and whoever had sent it.**

"Dumbledore," stated Ginny dully.

**Ron, full of turkey and cake and with nothing mysterious to bother him, fell asleep almost as soon as he'd drawn the curtains of his four-poster. Harry leaned over the side of his own bed and pulled the cloak out from under it.**

**His father's . . . this had been his father's. **

"Yes, and we used it almost exclusively for pranks and blackmail."

**He let the material flow over his hands, smoother than silk, light as air. **_**Use it well, **_**the note had said.**

**He had to try it, now. He slipped out of bed and wrapped the cloak around himself. Looking down at his legs, he saw only moonlight and shadows. It was a very funny feeling.**

_**Use it well.**_

"For pranks."

**Suddenly, Harry felt wide-awake. The whole of Hogwarts was open to him in this cloak. Excitement flooded through him as he stood there in the dark and silence. He could go anywhere in this, anywhere, and Filch would never know. Ron grunted in his sleep. Should Harry wake him? Something held him back — his father's cloak — he felt that this time — the first time — he wanted to use it alone.**

**He crept out of the dormitory, down the stairs, across the common room, and climbed through the portrait hole.**

"**Who's there?" squawked the Fat Lady. Harry said nothing. He walked quickly down the corridor.**

"That's better than what James did the first time we used the cloak," remarked Moony. "He decided to stop and talk with the Fat Lady outside the portrait hole. That did not end well."

**Where should he go? He stopped, his heart racing, and thought. And then it came to him. The Restricted Section in the library. He'd be able to read as long as he liked, as long as it took to find out who Flamel was. He set off, drawing the Invisibility Cloak tight around him as he walked.**

**The library was pitch-black and very eerie. Harry lit a lamp to see his way along the rows of books. The lamp looked as if it was floating along in midair, and even though Harry could feel his arm supporting it, the sight gave him the creeps.**

**The Restricted Section was right at the back of the library. **

"Of course, like in every single movie, book, and video game ever made," muttered Petunia.

**Stepping carefully over the rope that separated these books from the rest of the library, he held up his lamp to read the titles. They didn't tell him much. Their peeling, faded gold letters spelled words in languages Harry couldn't understand. Some had no title at all. One book had a dark stain on it that looked horribly like blood. The hairs on the back of Harry's neck prickled. Maybe he was imagining it, maybe not, but he thought a faint whispering was coming from the books, as though they knew someone was there who shouldn't be.**

"They always seem to know when you're not supposed to be there," remarked Padfoot. "I know from experience."

**He had to start somewhere. Setting the lamp down carefully on the floor, he looked along the bottom shelf for an interestinglooking book. A large black and silver volume caught his eye. He pulled it out with difficulty, because it was very heavy, and, balancing it on his knee, let it fall open.**

"Bad move, Harry."

**A piercing, bloodcurdling shriek split the silence — the book was screaming! Harry snapped it shut, but the shriek went on and on, one high, unbroken, earsplitting note. **

"Can you hit that high note?" asked Harry. "Go on, scream as high as you can. We won't mind."

**He stumbled backward and knocked over his lamp, which went out at once. Panicking, he heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside — stuffing the shrieking book back on the shelf, he ran for it. He passed Filch in the doorway; Filch's pale, wild eyes looked straight through him, and Harry slipped under Filch's outstretched arm and streaked off up the corridor, the book's shrieks still ringing in his ears.**

"That's how you get away from Filch; use the Invisibility Cloak."

**He came to a sudden halt in front of a tall suit of armor. He had been so busy getting away from the library, he hadn't paid attention to where he was going. Perhaps because it was dark, he didn't recognize where he was at all. There was a suit of armor near the kitchens, he knew, but he must be five floors above there. **

"**You asked me to come directly to you, Professor, if anyone was wandering around at night, and somebody's been in the library — Restricted Section."**

**Harry felt the blood drain out of his face. Wherever he was, Filch must know a shortcut, because his soft, greasy voice was getting nearer, and to his horror, it was Snape who replied, "The Restricted Section? Well, they can't be far, we'll catch them."**

"Not good. I'd be surprised if you were still sane after encountering them both at the same time," remarked Sirius.

**Harry stood rooted to the spot as Filch and Snape came around the corner ahead. They couldn't see him, of course, but it was a narrow corridor and if they came much nearer they'd knock right into him — the cloak didn't stop him from being solid.**

"Remus found that one out the hard way, too," stated James. "It was an incident involving Alice Longbottom, the bottom of the cloak, and Remus' foot."

**He backed away as quietly as he could. A door stood ajar to his left. It was his only hope. He squeezed through it, holding his breath, trying not to move it, and to his relief he managed to get inside the room without their noticing anything. They walked straight past, and Harry leaned against the wall, breathing deeply, listening to their footsteps dying away. That had been close, very close. It was a few seconds before he noticed anything about the room he had hidden in.**

**It looked like an unused classroom. The dark shapes of desks and chairs were piled against the walls, and there was an upturned wastepaper basket — but propped against the wall facing him was something that didn't look as if it belonged there, something that looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way.**

"What? What? TELL ME!" cried Padfoot, his dog side shining through.

**It was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. There was an inscription carved around the top: **_**Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.**_

"English, please," said Sirius.

**His panic fading now that there was no sound of Filch and Snape, Harry moved nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself but see no reflection again. He stepped in front of it. He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed — for he had seen not only himself in the mirror, but a whole crowd of people standing right behind him.**

"What the fuck?"

**But the room was empty. Breathing very fast, he turned slowly back to the mirror.**

**There he was, reflected in it, white and scared-looking, and there, reflected behind him, were at least ten others. Harry looked over his shoulder — but still, no one was there. Or were they all invisible, too? Was he in fact in a room full of invisible people and this mirror's trick was that it reflected them, invisible or not? **

"Of course it is Harry, haven't you felt the invisible people by now?"

**He looked in the mirror again. A woman standing right behind his reflection was smiling at him and waving. He reached out a hand and felt the air behind him. If she was really there, he'd touch her, their reflections were so close together, but he felt only air — she and the others existed only in the mirror.**

**She was a very pretty woman. She had dark red hair and her eyes — **_**her eyes are just like mine, **_**Harry thought, edging a little closer to the glass. Bright green — exactly the same shape, but then he noticed that she was crying; smiling, but crying at the same time. **

"Sounds a lot like Lily..." James trailed off.

**The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Harry's did.**

"Sounds a lot like me..."

**Harry w****as so close to the mirror now that his nose was nearly touching that of his reflection.**

"**Mom?" he whispered. "Dad?"**

"Holy fuck, it is us!" cried James.

"Why, though?" asked Lily. "Why would we be in a mirror?"

"I don't know, and I don't care. I'm finally not 'that dead guy!'"

**They just looked at him, smiling. And slowly, Harry looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like his, other noses like his, even a little old man who looked as though he had Harry's knobbly knees — Harry was looking at his family, for the first time in his life.**

**The Potters smiled and waved at Harry and he stared hungrily back at them, his hands pressed flat against the glass as though he was hoping to fall right through it and reach them. He had a powerful kind of ache inside him, half joy, half terrible sadness.**

"Harry, don't you remember what happened to you after that?" asked Ron. Harry gulped.

"You're right, I forgot about that."

Ron snorted. "How can you forget a meeting with your parents, even if they're stuck in a mirror?" Lily and James glared at him.

**How long he stood there, he didn't know. The reflections did not fade and he looked and looked until a distant noise brought him back to his senses. He couldn't stay here, he had to find his way back to bed. He tore his eyes away from his mother's face, whispered, "I'll come back," and hurried from the room.**

"**You could have woken me up," said Ron, crossly.**

"**You can come tonight, I'm going back, I want to show you the mirror."**

"**I'd like to see your mom and dad," Ron said eagerly.**

"**And I want to see all your family, all the Weasleys, you'll be able to show me your other brothers and everyone."**

"Foolish, naive Harry. Haven't you learned by now not to mess with things that you find hidden away?" chided Severus.

"**You can see them any old time," said Ron. "Just come round my house this summer. Anyway, maybe it only shows dead people. Shame about not finding Flamel, though. Have some bacon or something, why aren't you eating anything?"**

**Harry couldn't eat. He had seen his parents and would be seeing them again tonight. He had almost forgotten about Flamel. It didn't seem very important anymore. Who cared what the three headed dog was guarding? What did it matter if Snape stole it, really?**

"You're going crazy, Harry," said Remus. Harry gave him an odd look.

"You just noticed?" he asked sarcastically.

"**Are you all right?" said Ron. "You look odd."**

**What Harry feared most was that he might not be able to find the mirror room again. With Ron covered in the cloak, too, they had to walk much more slowly the next night. They tried retracing Harry's route from the library, wandering around the dark passageways for nearly an hour.**

"**I'm freezing," said Ron. "Let's forget it and go back."**

"_**No**_**!" Harry hissed. "I know it's here somewhere."**

**They passed the ghost of a tall witch gliding in the opposite direction, but saw no one else. Just as Ron started moaning that his feet were dead with cold, Harry spotted the suit of armor.**

"**It's here — just here — yes!"**

**They pushed the door open. Harry dropped the cloak from around his shoulders and ran to the mirror.**

**There they were. His mother and father beamed at the sight of him.**

"Another cameo appearance! Man, I'm on a roll!"

"**See?" Harry whispered.**

"**I can't see anything."**

"**Look! Look at them all . . . there are loads of them. . . ."**

"**I can only see you."**

"That's a sign of you going insane, Harry. Seeing things that aren't there."

"**Look in it properly, go on, stand where I am."**

**Harry stepped aside, but with Ron in front of the mirror, he couldn't see his family anymore, just Ron in his paisley pajamas. Ron, though, was staring transfixed at his image.**

"**Look at me!" he said.**

Everyone looked at Ron, who waved slowly, like he was in a parade.

"**Can you see all your family standing around you?" **

"**No — I'm alone — but I'm different — I look older — and I'm Head Boy!"**

"_**What**_**?"**

"**I am — I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to — and I'm holding the House Cup and the Quidditch Cup — I'm Quidditch captain, too!"**

"Damn, kid," remarked George. "Someone's becoming a Mini-Percy."

**Ron tore his eyes away from this splendid sight to look excitedly at Harry.**

"**Do you think this mirror shows the future?"**

"**How can it? All my family are dead — let me have another look —"**

"**You had it to yourself all last night, give me a bit more time."**

"**You're only holding the Quidditch Cup, what's interesting about that? I want to see my parents."**

"**Don't push me —"**

"And that was their first fight," sighed Hermione. "It's always so much fun trying to break them up."

"You make it sound like we're gay, Hermione."

**A sudden noise outside in the corridor put an end to their discussion. They hadn't realized how loudly they had been talking.**

"**Quick!"**

**Ron threw the cloak back over them as the luminous eyes of Mrs. Norris came round the door. Ron and Harry stood quite still, both thinking the same thing — did the cloak work on cats? **

"I honestly don't know," said James when they all turned to look at him. "They never seem to see it, but they can smell you from a mile off."

**After what seemed an age, she turned and left.**

"**This isn't safe — she might have gone for Filch, I bet she heard us. Come on."**

**And Ron pulled Harry out of the room.**

**The snow still hadn't melted the next morning.**

"**Want to play chess, Harry?" said Ron.**

"**No."**

"**Why don't we go down and visit Hagrid?"**

"**No . . . you go . . ."**

Ginny slapped Harry. "That's for trying to go into a depression!"

"**I know what you're thinking about, Harry, that mirror. Don't go back tonight."**

"**Why not?"**

"**I dunno, I've just got a bad feeling about it — and anyway, you've had too many close shaves already. Filch, Snape, and Mrs. Norris are wandering around. So what if they can't see you? What if they walk into you? What if you knock something over?"**

"**You sound like Hermione."**

"**I'm serious, Harry, don't go."**

"You should have listened to him," sighed Lily. "Nothing is more important to us than you**."**

**But Harry only had one thought in his head, which was to get back in front of the mirror, and Ron wasn't going to stop him. That third night he found his way more quickly than before. He was walking so fast he knew he was making more noise than was wise, but he didn't meet anyone.**

**And there were his mother and father smiling at him again, and one of his grandfathers nodding happily. Harry sank down to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. There was nothing to stop him from staying here all night with his family. Nothing at all.**

**Except —**

"**So — back again, Harry?"**

"That's not a good sign."

**Harry felt as though his insides had turned to ice. He looked behind him. Sitting on one of the desks by the wall was none other than Albus Dumbledore. Harry must have walked straight past him, so desperate to get to the mirror he hadn't noticed him.**

"I'm not one to say I told you so, but..." Ron trailed off. "I told you so."

"**I — I didn't see you, sir."  
**

"**Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you," said Dumbledore, and Harry was relieved to see that he was smiling.**

"**So," said Dumbledore, slipping off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry, "you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."**

Remus gasped. "That's it! It's the Mirror of Desire; Erised backwards!"

Petunia was silent for a moment. "So, it shows you what you want the most?"

Remus nodded. "Precisely."

The Twins were silent, both wondering what their true desire was.

**(In the Twins' imagination)**

The Twins (who had mysteriously sprouted horns) were cackling evilly as they shoved a screaming Draco Malfoy in a giant stew pot.

"**I didn't know it was called that, sir."**

"**But I expect you've realized by now what it does?"**

"I just explained it, so: yes."

"**It — well — it shows me my family —"**

"**And it showed your friend Ron himself as Head Boy."**

"**How did you know — ?"**

"**I don't need a cloak to become invisible," said Dumbledore gently. **

"And that is why he's a magical genius!"

**"Now, can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?"**

**Harry shook his head.**

"**Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?"**

**Harry thought. Then he said slowly, "It shows us what we want . . . whatever we want . . ."**

"**Yes and no," said Dumbledore quietly. "It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. **

"Well, technically, he has known his family, they just hated and abused him."

**Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.**

Harry glared at the people who were giving him looks. He already knew he was mad, for God's sake!

"**The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Harry, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever **_**do **_**run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?"**

**Harry stood up.**

"**Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?"**

"**Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."**

"**What do you see when you look in the mirror?"**

"**I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."**

"Twenty bucks says he's lying," said Ginny.

**Harry stared.**

"**One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."**

"Now I know what to give Dumbledore when we get back to our time!" said James. The atmosphere in the room instantly became icy.

**It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful. But then, he thought, as he shoved Scabbers off his pillow, it had been quite a personal question.**

"Indeed," said Severus slowly


	15. NOTICE

**NOTICE: No, I have not given up on this story. It has simply been pushed lower down on the priority list. However, since my writing has definitely changed (hopefully for the better) in the past year since I last updated, I've decided to rewrite this entire story. Nothing major will change, it's really more just fine-tuning, maybe taking this out, maybe adding something I missed out on the first go-around there, that kind of thing. This update will be replaced with the next chapter, when I get around to it (crosses fingers).**


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